Hello again ATS!
I guess since we live in a society where grant money is handed out to anyone with a vaguely interesting notion - all in the name of science - it was
bound to happen sooner or later. Somebody, somewhere, took the time, did the research and found out just how drunk the people in your state happen to
be.
Ten years ago I'd have written this and laughed with an added "I should be the control because none of them are as ripped as me!" - but, alas,
I've slowed down in my mid-life and now don't even drink at all. But God the stories from my twenties and thirties... The long story short of it all
is that I am built like this:
But after fifteen or twenty adult beverages of varying potencies, my self-image would distort and I'd see this in the mirror:
That is largely why I slowed down my drinking... as you age, healing time from brutal beatings gets longer and longer longer...
Actually, jokes and self-deprication aside, some of the results from the study did surprise me. For example I was sure that the south would be the
cradle of drunkitude. Apparently I was wrong:
Maine??? Really. Maine is like some secret hot party spot??? I mean I get Michigan because - well because half of that state is a training ground for
the post-apocalypse. And Alaska? Well when you live in a frozen tundra year round drinking makes sense.
Nevada also figures because, well what happens there stays there.
But Washington and Oregon??? Rain and Starbucks lead to drunkification??? That just doesn't make sense to me. And why is California not the reddest
state on the map? It's where I learned to drink and I am pretty damned sure that I never met a sober person in the entire ten years I lived there -
and I lived there during my school years! Even the teachers were drunk. Keg tapping was an
elective in my High School!
I'm kind of ashamed to be sitting in a state ( Georgia ) that is about as bland as it gets. Even Florida is brighter than us and the average age of a
Floridian is what? 93?
Yellow states you really need to get on the ball!
Red states? You really need to show up for a meeting or two.
Those in the middle: Moderation - you've mastered it!
So ATS, how drunk is your state?
( Thread inspired by
this article. )