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Americans: How Drunk Is Your State? Find Out!

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posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 07:45 AM
Hello again ATS!

I guess since we live in a society where grant money is handed out to anyone with a vaguely interesting notion - all in the name of science - it was bound to happen sooner or later. Somebody, somewhere, took the time, did the research and found out just how drunk the people in your state happen to be.

Ten years ago I'd have written this and laughed with an added "I should be the control because none of them are as ripped as me!" - but, alas, I've slowed down in my mid-life and now don't even drink at all. But God the stories from my twenties and thirties... The long story short of it all is that I am built like this:

But after fifteen or twenty adult beverages of varying potencies, my self-image would distort and I'd see this in the mirror:

That is largely why I slowed down my drinking... as you age, healing time from brutal beatings gets longer and longer longer...

Actually, jokes and self-deprication aside, some of the results from the study did surprise me. For example I was sure that the south would be the cradle of drunkitude. Apparently I was wrong:

Maine??? Really. Maine is like some secret hot party spot??? I mean I get Michigan because - well because half of that state is a training ground for the post-apocalypse. And Alaska? Well when you live in a frozen tundra year round drinking makes sense.

Nevada also figures because, well what happens there stays there.

But Washington and Oregon??? Rain and Starbucks lead to drunkification??? That just doesn't make sense to me. And why is California not the reddest state on the map? It's where I learned to drink and I am pretty damned sure that I never met a sober person in the entire ten years I lived there - and I lived there during my school years! Even the teachers were drunk. Keg tapping was an elective in my High School!

I'm kind of ashamed to be sitting in a state ( Georgia ) that is about as bland as it gets. Even Florida is brighter than us and the average age of a Floridian is what? 93?

Yellow states you really need to get on the ball!

Red states? You really need to show up for a meeting or two.

Those in the middle: Moderation - you've mastered it!

So ATS, how drunk is your state?

( Thread inspired by this article. )

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 08:05 AM
Hi Heff,

I am an Aussie so I can't really comment on States in the US.

However I am very good at picking up on patterns and I have discerned a pattern, a very unexpected one.

Bear with me here.

Look at your map and consider CANADA.

Alaska borders Canada. Alaska is full of drunks.

On the western side you see Canadian influence of drunkenness coming down in two evil waves to infect the US.

It eases off a little in the middle, but not much and returns with a vengeance on the Eastern side around the great lakes.

It is like a drunken plague emanating from the North.

Beware the Canadians, they supplied you in the prohibition years where their evil empire had there roots.

I think it is a prelude to invasion.

BEWARE CANADA. They have a long term plan.


edit on 21/11/2014 by pheonix358 because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 08:22 AM
a reply to: Hefficide


I need to drink more!!!!

SC is lagging behind...

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 08:25 AM
a reply to: Hefficide

I moved almost three years ago from Georgia and remember we had to vote COUNTY BY COUNTY for Sunday sales, and even then, town by town if enough Baptists made a stink. It was like living in the movie "Footloose" if your town wasn't cool.

That said, in my corner of PA, with its state owned beer and wine stores and crazy beer laws, im close enough to cross the border to Delaware and Maryland to not have to sell a kidney for a decent 6 or twelve.

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 08:35 AM
a reply to: the owlbear

I remember well the Sunday sales referendums. I also remember the days long before that of driving to Cheshire Bridge Rd, in Fulton county, very frequently to find one of the handful of stores that somehow were allowed to sell 24/7.

Well those and the all night clubs downtown... Though those tended to be way freakier and more dangerous than a buzzed person would want to be placed into. LOL

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 08:49 AM
Like this ?

I think Kentucky may be higher on the list.
They just don't know how much we make at home

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:14 AM
Germany. We are never drunken.

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 09:47 AM
I'm surprised MI isn't Redder actually.
We are so the "Hillbillies" of the north.

edit on 21-11-2014 by chiefsmom because: spelling as usual

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:01 AM
new york is about where i'd expect it to be...pretty red. actually a little surprised that it's not more red. considering how NYC is like 50% drinking establishments. lol

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:09 AM
I disagree with Georgia's color. I lived out there for a year and it seemed to me like everyone was drunk after work.

One of the best things I've heard came from a girl I met (in Georgia)..."all there is to do here is drink or have sex". Yeah baby.

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:13 AM

originally posted by: CallmeRaskolnikov
new york is about where i'd expect it to be...pretty red. actually a little surprised that it's not more red. considering how NYC is like 50% drinking establishments. lol

I can't disagree with that. I have at least two glasses of wine with dinner most of the week.

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:15 AM
Indiana is in the middle of the pack!?!?
That's scary cuz I know plenty of alcoholics. How many are running around these other states?

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:28 AM
Note how most of the pisstanks live in places that get long, cold winters ?

Yeah, it's pretty self explanatory.

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 10:36 AM
I live in Louisiana and quite frankly am shocked my state wasn't in the "red zone". Especially here in south Louisiana where the majority of the population is Catholic. Shoot, down here we make up "holidays" and festivals for an excuse to get loaded. There is a festival for everything except dirt.
I don't know if Florida still does this or not but when you would cross the state line into Florida you could get a free glass of orange juice at the state visitor center. I have always wondered why when you cross the state line into Louisiana you couldn't get a free Bud Light. Heeeee!.

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 11:38 AM
a reply to: Hefficide

I grew up in GA and my theory is that there's a lot of people lying about their consumption because I made about 100000 trips to the county line in my day and the liquor store was always busy!

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 11:56 AM
a reply to: Hefficide

Pittsburgh probably is 80% of PA's drunkenness. The first insurrection in American history was staged out of Pittsburgh over a spirits tax Philadelphia had imposed upon the rest of the state.

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 11:56 AM
double post.
edit on 11 21 2014 by Nechash because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 12:16 PM
After a quick read I gather the stats were based at least partially on 'number of vineyards and craft breweries'; California, Oregon and Washington are famous for the vineyards from mid-Oregon down, and small niche breweries from mid Oregon northward.

That's skewing your statistics.

The southern states are far drunker, far more often, with the liver diseases, crime stats and drunk driving deaths to prove it, they're just not industrious enough to be making their own so much...

While I'm sure every state has alcoholics (defined by me as someone who drinks almost every day), drinking in Seattle or Portland is a social event with one or two beers involved, and drinking in Napa Valley is a glass of wine with an expensive dinner, with huge amounts of the local production exported. Maybe I'm assuming a lot but I'd be willing to bet drinking in Louisiana or Georgia or Oklahoma is more like 'getting stinking drunk in a roadside bar followed by a bar fight or stumbling home...'

Or did I see the movie 'Roadhouse' too many times?

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 12:34 PM
a reply to: Hefficide

I live in Seattle and I admit it...I am a drunk...but a person who has not drank alcohol for 24 years. One day at a time.

Anyway...there are a lot of people in this city who drink, drink, drink an excess of alcohol; sad but true. So it does not surprise me that Washington state is high on the list.

I have to admit life for me sober is so much better; dealing with things as they happen with a clear mind is so much better. FYI...I don't smoke cig's or take drugs either.

Yes folks...I am a tea-coffee-water person; and a good veggie-fruit smoothie hits the spot too!

posted on Nov, 21 2014 @ 12:40 PM
a reply to: Hefficide

I know from people who live there that Maine is generally pretty barren and boring. Not only do they drink a ton but they do a lot of meth

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