When I first started meditating, especially when I began seriously looking inward, I was plagued by all sorts of memories and thoughts of unresolved
issues in my life.
By that, I mean everything from "Did I pay the phone bill this month?" to "It must
have been Jimmy who stole my baseball bat in the 4th
grade," to memories of lost loved ones and unjustices past.
You name it, it popped into my mind.
At first, all that noise was basically locking me out. Your mileage will definitely vary, but what ended up working for me was adopting a stance of
The reason these things kept bugging me was that I kept pushing them away, not wanting to confront them. So they kept nagging at me, demanding
I finally realized that they wouldn't go away until I finally gave myself closure, so I decided to take a different approach, and give myself
permission to accept these things as part of my life, good or bad.
Each issue has its own characteristics: anger over feeling cheated, guilt and shame over hurting someone else, embarrassment for doing stupid things,
etc. etc. So one size does not necessarily fit all -- although I have determined that all
such noise is a manifestation of some form of fear,
and that realization helped me a lot.
With the benefit of perspective (mentally take a few steps back from life and look at it as a whole), and having forgiven myself for not being
perfect, I was actually able to plow through a huge number of these in a relatively short time. Every now and then another issue surfaces, and when it
does, instead of trying to push it away, I try to confront it and make peace with it.
I still have plenty of issues -- everyone does and everyone always will. However, by clearing away some of the emotional clutter, I was able to
"see" things I hadn't seen before, and I am very happy with how it has been going (although granted it's been a wild ride).
Between that and making sure I am physically relaxed and free of the possibility of unwanted intrusions, I have found my meditations very
Here's hoping you may achieve and exceed the satisfaction I have obtained in meditation.