How do I avoid scams?

There are people who pretend to ask for directions, after which they say they have no money, and ask me for it. After I give it to them, another person comes around and the first person turns around and talks to them, ignoring me.

I don't know how else to say it but I am really angry. Could I ask how does one figure out who these people are and avoid these situations?

Say no.

Seriously.

Just say no.

If you want to help people, find people you can help that need it. None of us wants to deny help to someone who really needs it, but you also can't go broke giving money to every person that walks by with their hand out.

Find ways to help that you know are actually helping and don't feel guilty for not helping everyone.

In a perfect world? Sadly this isn't one and we can't rescue everyone all by ourselves.

Help where you know it's going to help. Doing that will help more than anything else.

I'm repeating it so that it sticks.

Kudos to you for wanting to help to begin with.

Never give money to strangers. If you feel like you just have to help, offer to pay for the gas at the pump, but refuse to give out cash. It's a well known scam, that's been going on for quite a while now. Some may even have children with them. Had the same thing happen to me this summer. I was approached by a youngish woman, with a 5- 6 year old child in the car, at one of our local gas stations. Being a small town close to a major interstate, we get a lot of traffic and a lot of strangers. She wanted $40 to get the rest of the way to Indianapolis and gave me a sob story about why she needed to get there quick. I offered to put gas in the car for her and even offered to buy the child some water and a granola bar, but refused to give her cash. She spent several minutes trying to talk me out of money instead of putting gas in her car. Finally, I told her "No, if you really need gas, fine, but I'm not giving you money" She called me several names, got in her car and left.

On scams in general : If it sounds too good to be true, it isn't.

I seen this older guy outside a gas station asking for handouts, just seemed down on his luck. Some lady went in and got him a sub and a drink, soon as she gave it to him and left, he tosses it in the can and leaves himself.

It just amazes me the lengths people will go to.

a reply to: shaneslaughta

That makes me mad and it wasn't even me or my money.

This is the type of behavior that makes it hard for those that may need a hand up from time to time to get one. I do actually get angry that I feel like I can't help anyone without it winding up just like what you described above.

A few years back someone knocked on our front door and said that he was a friend of our elderly neighbors and he needed $40 to take to the man's wife because she locked her keys in her car and needed a locksmith to get them out. It was about midnight and he was talking to my husband. I was standing behind my husband thinking he surely wasn't going to give this man money.... He did.

Weeks later he asked our neighbor about it. Sure enough. He had no clue. We are not comfortable enough to just give away $40. But that's just what happened and it still drives me bonkers to think about the sheer audacity that people have.

a reply to: ThinkingMe

Hi there. I'm not in the business of advising fellow adults, but I shall share with you my thoughts concerning giving money to strangers who come to us in an appearance of need.

It just so happens I was in town earlier on business and I gave some money to a young woman so your post is very applicable in that respect.

Ok, I passed a young woman sitting in the shop door way. She is not asking for money from anyone. It is a cold and rainy morning. I do my business and see the girl again as I return. She is not asking for money. Instinctively I gave her what is in US currency $15 (£10). Why did I do this? I did this because I am these days a very perceptive person and can tell much about a person just by looking at them. Also, when I get lucky financially I like to pass that blessing on a little when I can.

The young lady was very grateful. I went down to unlock my cycle and she walked towards me. She greeted me and said she could now buy her and boyfriend some breakfast. They had been on the street all night. She told me she was Colombian and they were homeless. She showed me her recorder (instrument) and told me a little about her life. She was very pleasant.

My breakfast will be twice as nice today because of my little experience. I do like Jesus said whenever I can. I look out for my fellow man and woman. Not in far removed charity terms, but in real life. I like that best.

I have always been a giving person. Yes, I have had the odd scam. I just developed a keener sense of other people and to be a good judge of situations.

I like being generous, caring, compassionate and being concerned about people around me. The odd scammer will never deter me from that.

I like making life warm in this modern cooler of society. There is nothing naïve or silly about that.

Kangaruex, thanks for the reply, it's nice knowing that there is an option to say no. It's good to know that I can choose who to help.

David thanks so much for your input and for the advice on not giving cash, I can think of so many other ways now to go about it in which I do not have to give cash.

Shane, I think if I were the lady, I would feel rather sad.

Just say NO. Helping people is a noble effort. If you want to help join a local organization that does help the needy. But if you are simply on the street when this happens Just say NO.

lonesomerimbaud, that was so wonderful. It make me feel better about what happened earlier. I'm not very much an adult yet though

originally posted by: ThinkingMe


Shane, I think if I were the lady, I would feel rather sad.

Yeah, me as well. I have learned one thing in my 27 years. You cant help a person that don't want help. There for instead of passing out the fish, i try and teach the act of fishing.

Those that need help wont mind a hand on the shoulder and a voice in their ear. That is if they have eaten their helping of humble pie.

These people upset me. Not because they got away with someones money, but because there are people who really do need help but everyone is suspicious now whenever they see someone asking for help. To me, its honestly worth it to hand out a little money even if you might be taking a risk. Because you also might be helping someone.

Op, Im sorry that happened to you. But you have to experience some unpleasant things in order to become street smart, and then you will be better at guessing people's intentions. But you can never really be 100% sure. I'm guessing some people have been doing this a long time and are very good at it.

originally posted by: ThinkingMe
lonesomerimbaud, that was so wonderful. It make me feel better about what happened earlier. I'm not very much an adult yet though

Awww bless. Don't worry. Honestly, I have been caught out that way a few times.

Observing people and using your instincts. Not rushing. Talking to people to find out what the score is.

Haha. Strangers make my world go round. Really they do!

Take good care dear soul.

a reply to: 3n19m470

I actually care less about the money than the obvious "use and throw away" style that I perceived. Perceived because I cannot be sure about exactly what happened. I would be lying if I said I didn't care about the cash at all though.

a reply to: lonesomerimbaud
It would be wonderful to be as you described, being less rushed and finding the time to talk a little longer than just curt responses. I'm working on it.

There used to be a group of 5 lads (in their late 20's) who would regularly beg in the town center where I live, they would normally have small dogs with them for that extra sympathy vote and people were chucking money at them left, right and center. I would see them in the local pub most nights, they all had houses and were getting benefits and were using the begging to get some extra beer money. More than once I overheard them chatting to people and laughing at the ''idiots'' who felt sorry for them and gave away their hard earned cash to them.

Sadly, due to this I don't trust anyone who begs for money and point blank refuse to hand over any to anyone.

Hats off for trying to help someone out though, there isn't much kindness left in the world today.

a reply to: ThinkingMe

I'm reminded of the "homeless" person holding a sign about helping with a donation. The good samaritine bought them a sandwich. The person looked at it and said "a Sandwich?! What am I supposed to do with this!!??"

Serious...you never really know how bad off someone really is....its a case by case thing. Still...

Help those in apparent need when you can...don't stop...just be aware.

Up here, we've got a literal homeless racket.

All of the beggars take shifts at the various corners of big intersections, or hang out in different parts of town telling SOB stories about how they need gas to get home (think of the guy in the park from Falling Down) to get spare change.
They go in circles around the city hitting trashcans for bottles (we have a deposit, here- five cents for a can) using stolen shopping carts.

A bunch of them work together- there's a homeless "pimp" who they bring their 'earnings' to for the day, who then takes his cut and provides food and money to the 'workers'.
I found out about it after calling someone on their SOB story. Bought him lunch and we talked for an hour- I learned all about the various scams going on around here. Big corruption in the public transport system, etc.

I used to hate the homeless problem here- hoards of people begging for change. I assumed it was all deadbeats and losers, people not willing to work.
Now I see that it could happen to just about anyone- and it's by design. Squeeze the people until we're forced to rely on the government we created for basic needs- then we can't get rid of them, or even control them anymore.

What a mess.

being in vegas

i give no one anything except once

saw the guy every day smoked a cig with him every day on the way to work

cash no i handed him some green thing lol

imo if ur going to help a true homeless persion give them the end goal beer or green stuff all they want

btw he was really bipolar could never hold a job just to out there but when he had his moments of clerity a genius

only gave him anything caz after the first time i gave him a smoke and had one myself he told me he was trying to get some green stuff

i dont mind the true needy but hear u got to many living in a nice house with all expences but spange for there money
fells like paying taxes all over again

never give cash to anyone

and anytime i brought food witch i did alot he actualy ate it

If the Prince of Nigeria emails you for help, don't give him money!!!

That's the last time I waste $500,000........

a reply to: ThinkingMe

Make them sell you something. If they are serious you get a bargain and they get the money they want. If they won't, laugh and carry on regardless.

Don't be so gullible.

a reply to: ThinkingMe

Do as others have done: Offer something apart from money. Offer to pay for their gas to their destination, food, a new shirt (that they pick out).

Often, I found that the people that really do need the help:
1. Will not ask you to help them.
2. Will be grateful for whatever you offer (be it money, a warm blanket, food, or even a toy).

Case in point: I helped someone bring their groceries home, when they were not dressed for the weather and likely were becoming hypothermic. Did the guy ask for help? No. He probably would've carried on without me. But I stopped and offered my assistance, and looking back, I like to think that I saved him that night.

Now, compare that to something I got scammed out of. I put up a mattress for sale, and one person did bid on it. At first, they were fine with the money, and then when it came time to get the mattress, not a dime was given to me. I was given a SOB story, and fell for it sadly.

-fossilera