dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder, page 3

a reply to: Grovit

If it's warranted, then yep, can totally understand. I squashed alone time with either of my parents for both of my kids because I do know precisely what they can be like. As strange as it may sound, I also try to provide them guidance on how to navigate both to avoid the pitfalls that can happen with trusting either. My mother may actually be a case of DID. The tendency towards dissociative behaviors is thought to have some genetic component and that's part one of my theory of her actually being a DID individual. The second is that she does undergo a dramatic personality change, which is quite terrifying, and has no memory of the events.

I started noting the absence of memory when I was a teen but it wasn't until a few years ago, when I had her cornered over the phone (safe distance), that she admitted with raw emotion including fear that she did not remember the things that the rest of us do about her. Previously, I had thought that she was lying to manipulate but the very fact that she was so raw and fearful is one of those things that she does not normally do unless she is actually experiencing those feelings. Weakness especially emotional, was intolerable growing up in her house. My son actually did not believe me as she seems so elegant and nice, albeit on the cold side, normally. Then one evening, I provoked her to obtain closure and he experienced that other side of grandma that I had told him about while safely ensconced behind a locked door. While I didn't intend for it to be a lesson for him, it ended up being one. His eyes are wide open now to the mystery of his grandmother and he has joined my voice in making sure that his sister is aware of it, too. She is like two people. One is the woman who is pretty enjoyable to be around. The other is a nightmare.

Whether she actually is DID or not is likely to never be resolved. In that kind of circumstance though, you bet--no alone time for the kiddos. At least until they are well versed adults who know what her particular set of triggers are and can circumnavigate them. As far as grandpa goes, well, one can never trust him all the time. He may not be violent or insane but he does have a tendency towards being a sociopath all the time and will throw even his own grandchildren under the bus to make a buck. We don't see him at all. Kind of funny when you think about it. The violent and prone to pure crazy one is more reliable than the probable sociopath but the difference is that we know what triggers the former. The latter just is.