a reply to:
Dark Ghost
I can highlight a particular bad memory, that involves the following issues:
1) Perception of who is a friend and whom is not
2) Being ridiculed and humiliated publicly
3) Being forced into divulging ones secrets
4) The reality that I cannot hide my intentions
5) The reality that people can plot against me
The effects:
1) Lack of trust in others
2) Fear of ridicule
3) Turing away from expressing my personal life
4) Feeling as though I cannot hide my intentions
5) The generation of an isolationist outlook
I was led into trust by an existing acquaintance, I divulged something, and I was befriended by a new party. My trust in secrecy was broken, and I
lost my standing, I was publicly ridiculed, and, I later discovered that it was a plot involving both parties.
In a sense, I was "annexed" by two parties.
The events gave me an insight into human psychology, and the way that "they" work together. I was "put down" for trying to climb too high - this has
highlighted to me the reality of "social structures" and the nature of manipulation in society.
I have and do examine my memories, and the following is the result of my "analysis" - it involves the contemplation of many similar and painful
events that are predominant in my psyche and involve my dealings with human soceity. I like to structuralise my thoughts, and you can see that I have
developed a systematic understanding towards life, it is part of the way that I translate things:
Believe it or not, "they" have an entire repertoire of "methods" that they use in maintaining their social structures, and they think that people like
myself are blind to such manipulation.
Obviously, I am not, and given further study I could write an essay on their techniques for others like myself to read.
I'll tell you this - they learn such behaviours from a young age, I have seen it start to operate usually as soon as children hit puberty. They resign
themselves to the "program" and try to find their places within it.
It is like a "framework" or "structure" as far as I can tell, and it does involve social and psychological programming from a higher level.
They start to use these "techniques" in an experimental stage of their programming, eventually they adapt their personalities and are "pigeonholed"
into certain categories according to the parameters of the programming.
Once the gears in motion, they are "integrated" - this is the goal for them, and what they all are working towards.
To elaborate, at first, they find conflicts within their "positions" in society, however, once they realise that they have a "role" to play in the
scheme of things, and gain enough spite towards those that are not apart of the "program" (us) they make the switch.
From that point, the program is installed completely and they are "awarded" with a functioning "personality" that fits within the program, within the
societal matrix.
Since I am not integrated, I cannot really even communicate myself truthfully - if I were to be myself, the naive self that I was, and likely still am
underneath - I would be ruined.
These memories come back indeed, and indeed as lessons.
The key was, for me, realising that both parties were cohorts, this only occurred to me after much investigation, and although it makes the wound even
deeper, it was what was niggling me the entire time.
What you have just read were my exact thoughts on the issue/issues.edit on 6-11-2014 by SystemResistor because: (no reason
given)
edit on 6-11-2014 by SystemResistor because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-11-2014 by SystemResistor because: (no
reason given)
edit on 6-11-2014 by SystemResistor because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-11-2014 by SystemResistor
because: (no reason given)