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originally posted by: Tangerine
originally posted by: FlySolo
a reply to: Tangerine
Interesting you brought up the gay analogy. I happened to live in the gayest part of Canada called the west end of Vancouver. For a straight guy walking down the street I can relate to your analogy however, you get used to it. You learn not to make eye contact and you learn to block it out. Kinda exactly how and what women do. But men are always the pursuer, that's our role and women are always the choice maker. That's your role. We pursue and you decide if you want to be pursued. There are no "designated women pursuit areas" and love connections can happen in any arena. That's life and it ain't going to change anytime soon. While some guys are gentlemen about it and some are crass, it doesn't change a thing. Women are going to be pursued.
"We (ie. men) pursue and you (ie. women) decide if you want to be pursued." I guess you missed the part, which was the entire point of the video, that this woman didn't want to be pursued while walking down the street. You also missed the point about unwanted attention escalating (as it did in the video) from "Hello" to more aggressive behavior. What do you suppose might have happened if that woman had been walking on a dark, not so heavily populated street?
The very notion that it's OK for men to cross the line into giving women unwanted and unsolicited attention (calling out to her, approaching her, stalking her (even for a short distance) is a short step from unwanted physical contact. Are you aware that because most women are not physically as strong as most men and because many men regard women as prey women are constantly aware of the danger of sudden escalation? You, as a man, may have established a line you won't cross but a woman can't afford to assume that. She also can't assume that other men who may witness an actual physical assault will stop it. They may join in. Sure, that's not an every day occurrence, but it does happen and she knows it.
I understand that you can't get into the mind of a woman who perceives the potential danger in these situations and that may be a large part of the problem. From your perspective, it's harmless and flattering attention. From the woman's perspective it's something else. Let's take a different example and you can extrapolate from that.
As an adult, you see a child walking alone down the street receiving unsolicited adult attention. Men say, "Hello" and "You're beautiful" and smile but keep moving or, if standing still, stay there. I'll bet your "radar" picks up on it and you pay attention. Now a man moves rapidly to catch up to the child and walks beside the child for a distance and solicits attention from that child. He may reach out and touch the child's arm. He may say, "Hey, give me your number. Where do you live?" I'll bet that by now you're fully aware of the potential danger in that situation and may even intervene.
All children are potential prey but female children grow up to be women and are still potential prey. It's hard-wired into their brains. Think about it. The next time you have the impulse to yell, "Hey beautiful, give me your number", the woman is very likely to feel a surge of adrenaline as she switches into fight or flight mode--something you never intended. She has to be on high alert and attempt to calculate risk. She has to not only worry about you but about every male who has heard you and is now focused on her.
The very same woman will be really pissed when they stop.
originally posted by: hutch622
a reply to: FlySolo
Now to bring a bit of balance , let hollaback get some man , lets say ummmm Brad Pitt ,dress him in tight jeans and t shirt ,parade him for the same amount of time and count the cat calls . Not fair you say its Brad Pitt , cat calls are cat calls . Who the man is surely should not make a difference . PS yes that guy was creepy .
Like a number of men on this thread, you have attempted to turn this into a joke
strangers are calling out to you, ordering you to 'SMILE!'
you're literally being mentally accosted over and over again, with the attendant adrenaline rush and worry about something escalating into a physical confrontation.
I was literally expecting and hoping that she would have peppersprayed at least two of those idiots;
This is illegal behavior, but as a woman you can't complain about it, there's no point because nothing will be done.
Men hide behind this 'oh you're beautiful I can't help myself' routine but you don't yell at beautiful paintings in the museum or a lovely sunset.
The truth of the matter is that your visual cortex is hooked right into your libido and genitals
and women in burkas have been raped with much the same excuse; 'she was asking for it.'
Why do you pseudo-men not do this behavior when a woman is with another man? Because you know you're being aggressive and you know you risk a physical confrontation with the man in this instance, don't you?
Well, y'know what guys? Most of you are average to ugly, and if you want to get laid once in a while in your pitiful little lives, try acting like a gentleman.