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originally posted by: CagliostroTheGreat
The following is an important religious survey. To respond to this survey please place an "x" or appropriate (or inappropriate if explicitly applicable) symbol beside the choice you most readily agree with. Either that or think for yourself shmuck!
1.How did you find out about your deity?
"my momma dun tol me!"
Near death experience
other, specify: No such thing.
2.Which model deity did you aquire?
Father, Son and Holy Ghost (trinity pak)
Zeus & entourage (Olympus pak)
Odin & entourage (Valhalla pak)
other, specify: Whole world
3. Did your God come to you in working order with no missing parts or obvious damage?
If "no" please indicate any problems you had (check any that apply)
does not occupy/inhabit entire cosmos
requires burnt offerings
requires virgin sacrifices
other, specify: giggles daily
Have you worshipped a deity before? If so, which false god were you fooled by? (check any that apply
The Great Pumpkin
Other, specify: heart rocks
5. Do you have any suggestions that might improve your God's performance in the future? (attach additional sheet) yeah, it's called Jesus Christ yes, God......never existed.
6. What factors were relevant in your desicion to aquire a deity? (check any that apply)
Reason to live
Indoctrinated by wild-eyed drug using hippies
Indoctrinated by Volvo driving yuppies
Hate to think for self
Wanted to piss off parents
Like organ music
S### was falling out of the sky
Shrubbery caught fire and commanded me to do it
Otter, specify: Still not sure what this "Deity" word is, much like "entity" as everything is either male or female, and due to ignorance and self absorbed "gods" sometimes both now.
7. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration other than your god? (Check any that apply)
sex, drugs & rock 'n roll
other, specify: I'm a "medium" so they are using me, and when I say "they" I assure you they are Steve Jobs, Adolf Hitler, Pope John Paul II, and a few other great renowned world changers.
8. God employs a certain amount of divine intervention to preserve the balance between felt prescence and blind faith. Which would you prefer?
more divine intervention
less divine intervention
current level of divine intervention is sufficient o, Lord
what the hell is divine intervention?
Preference? Isn't that a hair color now? Oh and I'm happy with whatever they need to do to not God. I've called this so called God out a few times, and every time I've lived, which disputes the whole theory that you die when you meet God bwahahahahaha. Died laughing maybe, but that's due to the chicken nature of such a powerfully depicted false thing created by 1 (soon to be sorry) think he's greater than all creators ....where I guess the last punishment of no endowment wasn't "small enough" message to make him "take it back" bwahahahaha, so if his memory serves him correctly.......oh wait, it was hallowed, and he is angry, and I smile at the next great child punishment to come. bwahahahahaha
9. Yor God also tries to maintain a balnce between disasters and miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1-5 her or his ability to handle the following:
What is a miracle and what is a disaster? Neither are referred to in the bible.....man made words. I'm most grateful for the toilet.....still makes me smile every day. Why wasn't it on the list?
10. Additional comments:
(all comments are monitored by the shadow government and various other nefarious groups, but don't sweat it, its cool. Trust me.)
Cool is like a drafty toilet......(that's my shadow governments take on it)
And remember kids, Hail Eris!
originally posted by: Nechash
a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat
Thanks to you, I've now read the Illuminatus trillogy. I laughed and laughed at parts. So, he really just stirred a bunch of stuff together and expected his readers to sift through that? What a guy.