I do not feel very attached to feminism, personally. I don't have to face such issues on a daily basis- it is not one where I live.
On the other hand, living in a culture which is opposed to my native one on this (it is maternalistic) I became much more aware of the paternalistic
influences in our culture and how they effect us deeply- so I understand that for women still within that, it is a valid issue.
I think the issue is one that needs to address women themselves, and their internal mechanisms, not the societal systems.
The women who has the better financial situation may have something to share with the woman in the less advantageous one. She didn't end up there on
accident- apparently she had something different going on deep in her head that took her on a different life path. She did not have three kids and end
up divorced and working a low paying salary.
So what happened? Where do their choices split?
I perceive there are values and morals that are deeply ingrained in our culture, that are changing, but it takes each individual some effort.
Young women who dream of their big important marriage as a life goal- that is still a part of our culture!
I was faced with another one in which marriage is of minor importance to women. Couples choose to live together, have children, and maybe get married
later, maybe not at all.. it doesn't mean much to them. My daughter has been with her boyfriend for six years, they have a great relationship, they
announced their intent to have a child (and it has now been concieved).
My american relatives all asked, uh-oh... so when's the wedding?
I am stuck here having to ponder- how do I explain this to them?
How do I explain- there is no wedding plans, and this is not an accident, and their french relatives are all celebrating!
They ask- why doesn't she want to get married???
She sees no reason to. She is secure in this relationship, and even if they were to break up, she has a good education, which led to a great job, with
paid maternity leave (up to three years), with a system that provides public preschool starting at two years of age.
This contrast is striking. While some young girls are dreaming about prince charming and a big wedding dress,
others are dreaming of going to college, of what kind of house they want to buy for themselves one day, what kind of car... no prince charming is
necessary. If a regular guy, who is nice and makes a fun partner comes along, that's a plus- not the meaning of life as a woman.
These are the thoughts that it might be good to ponder for a woman. The self proclaimed feminist mother who assumed this was a mistake, and that they
would have to marry, is completely unaware that she is holding a sexist moral and concept that she is passing along to younger women in her life...
she is part of the problem she opposes!!!!
My own mother was a feminist, and yet she got pregnant twice in order to get a man to marry her, the first one, she didn't even love- but she
desperately wanted security and her belief system was that you can't have security unless you have a husband. Of course, the loveless marriage ended
in divorce, being a poor student again, with ..you guessed it... three young chldren.
Yes, I believe sexist principles were at the base of her situation.
Though when I see men getting all defensive about feminists, as if they are being targetted, I want to say- just stay out of this, it is between us.
We have the power to change sexism, but we need to interact amongst ourselves and learn how to disengage from this long tradition of paternalism
individually... then the society shall naturally reflect that balance as more individuals are able to achieve that.
edit on 26-10-2014 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)