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Learning to step back

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posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 07:03 AM
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Ok,
This isn't a rant. It's more of an non-rant.
I've been reading a thread about the UFO forum and how it doesn't allow conversation and debate. It pretty much just shuts down anyone who tries to discuss.

I agree to that somewhat. It seems that some people can't just step back and let something you don't agree with or believe in be the topic of discussion for others.

In thinking about this I realized that I used to be that way.
I still am on occasion but I'm really trying to work on that.

I used to be really bad.
I'd jump in and step on toes.
I would dig in and never give up, even when I KNEW I was wrong.
How dare that son of a gun say that!?!?I
I'll show him!

After 6 years on this site I've come to realize that I've learned a lot about the way I think about things I don't agree with.
I've learned to step back and let it go at the end of the day.
It doesn't matter enough to get emotional about.
With almost 7 billion opinions on the planet, we can't make everybody think like us.
Statistically speaking, at least 3.5 billion people think I'm full of crapola.
I can't change that. Don't even want to.

Being right is nice but learning to see when we're wrong is the most educational thing we can do for ourselves.

I still dig in and argue. Once in a while I'll revert to Reductio ad absurdum. Sometimes I just pick someone to annoy for a little while but that's not very often and usually in fun. Unfortunately, my sense of humor runs to the sarcastic and sometimes doesn't translate well in print.

I enjoy this site and like most members here. I try to like the others but that's the best I can do.
I've learned to step back and let things just be what they are.
I get more out of this site because of that.
Thanks ATS for teaching a stubborn old coot a few new tricks.
edit on 21-10-2014 by badgerprints because: (no reason given)




posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 07:28 AM
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a reply to: badgerprints

Good for you! I too have grown being on this site, just one of the many wonderful things about it.



posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 07:35 AM
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Nice post.

I still think little elves make cookies in trees. Want to fight about it? Anyone? I know someone agrees with me!

Anyways, it doesn't get said enough...

Thank You.

Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your contributions. Most importantly, thank you for posts like these which sometimes has the ability to make a few lemons into lemonade.




posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 07:46 AM
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originally posted by: eisegesis
Nice post.

I still think little elves make cookies in trees. Want to fight about it? Anyone? I know someone agrees with me!



They had to vacate that tree.
EPA kicked em out.
Now they run a falafel truck in Jersey.
edit on 21-10-2014 by badgerprints because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 07:52 AM
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in my personal experience, in real life people are more welcoming to different opinions.
it seems to be more online related, from what i can see.
maybe something to do with the subconscious idea that your computer screen represents your home, and any opinion contrary to yours is seen as an unwelcome guest.
"how dare he come to my forum (house) and say something against what all of us (the owner+other users on forum) are saying!
i can't really relate to what you are saying in the sense that if someone disagrees with me i just go "different strokes for different folks" and go about my day. but i can see it happening.
There is also another reason for this, in a way, much more sinister: the possibility that you are wrong. not just that people have other opinions, but that you are just totally wrong.
Aliens (like ATS generally pictures them) might not exist at all. nothing crashed in roswell, they don't have ufo tech in area 51, they are not living inside the earth, they do not look like lizards, they do not abduct, they, as we always talk about them, do not exist.
Some people have poured their lives into the quest for the truth, and telling them that there is no truth is too devastating a blow.
Conspiracies become pretty much like religions after a certain point: they go from a possible explanation of what happened to THIS IS THE TRUTH I KNOW BECAUSE I KNOW AND YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR RESEARCH OR YOU WOULD KNOW I AM RIGHT! I FILLED IN THE MISSING PIECES IN A WAY THAT CONFIRMS MY PRECONCEIVED NARRATIVE SO THAT MAKES ME RIGHT
(Also don't forget to use words like sheeple, wake up, blind etc)
the solution? no idea, people just have to learn to get over themselves.



posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 08:17 AM
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originally posted by: IShotMyLastMuse

i can't really relate to what you are saying in the sense that if someone disagrees with me i just go "different strokes for different folks" and go about my day. but i can see it happening.


I don't necessarily mean that you have to let someone else step into your conversation and tell you that you are wrong.
It's more about letting others discuss a topic without nuking the thread because you don't believe in UFO's or Bigfoot or honest politicians.

Sometimes you can just smile and wonder how many layers of tinfoil that guy has in his hat.

Your computer screen being a home analogy may have some merit.

What I've found though is that most people wouldn't treat someone in their home the way they treat them on a web site.
Face to face, we treat each other better... or at least ignore each other rather than having a grand mal tourettes meltdown over an article from BIN.
If we didn't, half of us would be walking around with bloody noses.

You can think of the forums as you might a restaurant.
If you hear a guy at another table tell his date that he saw bigfoot, would you get up, walk across the room and say "Pics or it didn't happen!" ?

No,
You might grin about it or shake your head but you wouldn't go and insert yourself into someone else's life.
It's the same in a thread.
You can read and think about what is going on but it's often more fun to let the thread develop and see what they have to say than it is to kill the thread.

I've found that when I don't agree with someones opinions I can ask for links to the information they are citing.
Sometimes, I find my opinion changing because of the new information.

Anyway,
it's not about letting others tell you that you are wrong.
Every now and then both sides are wrong.
It's more about learning to notice when you actually are wrong.

This is when you really start to learn cool stuff and you find yourself in parts of your personality that you didn't know were there.

I've learned to deal with real life craziness a lot better from being here on this site.
I can look at a big ole hairball of insanity and stay calm.
Usually I can get in a sarcastic comment that makes people around me grin and wonder if I'm that crazy or that smart.
It's more fun than being normal.
edit on 21-10-2014 by badgerprints because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 08:21 AM
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a reply to: badgerprints


After 6 years on this site I've come to realize that I've learned a lot about the way I think about things I don't agree with.


There are great thinkers/writers on this site. I applied that label to you a long time ago. When I see your avatar in-thread, my reading speed noticeably slows, and it's rare thing if your post doesn't pick up a star from me (probably an oversight). It's good to be reminded of what you had to say.

-Cheers



posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 08:36 AM
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That's awesome, it really does show you have learnt something when you notice it yourself. I have noticed what you are talking about as well, some people just need to open their minds up just a little bit!

I will admit i get frustrated sometimes when people don't agree with me, but i don;t freak out or anything i always respect everyone else's opinion and perspective, i always listen to what they are saying and try take something from it, if we don't listen to others opinions we will never be open to learn new things or look at things from all angles, after all that's partly why we are here, too discuss & express our opinions etc. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to express it, but i guess some peoples way of expressing it is by carrying on and sometimes even trying to force it on people, theres nothing worse than if someone dismisses your opinion without even looking into your facts and sources etc on why you have that view..



posted on Oct, 21 2014 @ 09:31 AM
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Thank you and thank you.
It's nice to hear that people value my input.
I have to slow down sometimes and pay attention.
There are members here that always get more time from me.
I'm trying to learn to read everything even if I don't respond.
Of course, the hardest part is to give people you wouldn't usually read a fair shake.
A lot of the members I really enjoy reading are the ones I didn't like initially.



posted on Oct, 28 2014 @ 01:02 AM
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But then,
Sometimes you just have to vent.



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