I wasn't sure where to post this. I guess this is as much a rant as anything else, so ...
This past weekend I was out of town. With all the Civil Forfeiture stories these days I decided not to bring a lot of cash, paid for most stuff with
my bank card. I kept all my receipts and I was going to balance my checkbook this morning. So I got online to get a copy of my current bank
statement. After I enter my name and password, up comes a new Terms of Service agreement.
I wasn't fully alert yet, I hadn't had my coffee, and I start reading this. My eyes start to glaze over after the third paragraph. "How much more
of this?" I start scrolling down, wondering if I should just click "I Agree" so I can get my statement. Towards the end, I see some sentences
that catch my eye, even in my caffeine deprived state. I click "I Decline" and it brings me back to the sign on screen.
Later, I go back and copy the agreement and look it over more thoroughly. In order to just look at my bank statement online, Suntrust wants me to
Forfeit my right to a trial by jury;
JURY TRIAL WAIVER
FOR ANY MATTERS NOT SUBMITTED TO ARBITRATION, YOU AND WE HEREBY KNOWINGLY, VOLUNTARILY, INTENTIONALLY AND IRREVOCABLY WAIVE THE RIGHT TO A TRIAL BY
JURY IN RESPECT TO ANY LITIGATION BASED HEREON OR ARISING OUT OF THIS AGREEMENT, RELATING TO THE SERVICE OR ANY OTHER DISPUTE OR CONTROVERSY BETWEEN
YOU AND BANK. FURTHER, YOU AND BANK HEREBY AGREE THAT ANY LITIGATION WILL PROCEED ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS AND WILL NOT PROCEED AS PART OF A CLASS
Sorry for the all caps, I just copied and pasted. In addition, I must agree never to be part of a class action suit against Suntrust.
I was going to make a list of some of the provisions in this agreement, but I would be here all night. This was a seven page document with little
gems like this hidden throughout.
As my schedule permits, I need to shop for a new financial institution. When I'm ready, I'm going to print out this document and take it to the
bank. When the service rep asks, "May I help you?" I will say, "Yes, please. But first I need to to sign this agreement before you can talk to
me. Oh, you don't want to sign it? Well, what makes you think I would? Please close my accounts. I want cash now."
I know I'm going to be directing some of my frustrations out at the customer service rep, and it's really not their fault. But I guess that's why
they get the big bucks, right?