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Guy realizes he's been using the toilet wrong his whole life

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posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:27 PM
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Prepare to be painfully baffled:

So I’m hoping a load of people are going to come out in support of me here but I’ve got that sinking feeling I may be alone in this.

Our toilet broke so I was in shopping for new ones and the sales person joked (no doubt for the millionth time) that I’ll want one that automatically puts the seat down after I’m finished with it. I ‘joked’ back and said if I didn’t have a wife I could save money and not buy one with a seat and I’d never have to hear women complaining about putting it down again. To which he gave me a strange look and said “but what about when you need to poop?”. I naturally pointed out that I’m a guy and therefore don’t put the seat down, I sit on the rim of the bowl. Several embarrassing moments later, I realize that I’ve misunderstood my entire life and that guys do indeed use the toilet seat. I left empty handed and red faced.

Thinking about it now, it makes sense. Especially how men’s restrooms have seats. But I just assumed it was a unisex/cost saving/oversight deal.




That last sentence cracks me up so much.

I often wonder if I'm doing some ordinary task completely wrong and people don't tell me or something. I remember when my old boss found out normal people don't stand to wipe. "Well what do you do? Sit?". "Yes." "Oh, if you tell anyone you're fired." I had to literally teach one of my bosses to wipe his own butt. I never thought about it like that until now. The teaching was not hands on.

I have an odd number of stories about other people doing rather embarrassing things but they're a little blue. You can pretend it wasn't you.

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edit on 1720141020141 by Domo1 because: (no reason given)




posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:33 PM
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a reply to: Domo1

The first time I slept with my girlfriend, I wanted to move my arm off my chest, and I was frustrated that no matter how much I tried to move it, I couldn't figure out how to get it to work. Turns out, it was her arm. ;p I picked it up and moved it. I just found out that all of us open our bananas from the wrong end and since I changed strategies, life has been so much easier.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:36 PM
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you made me think of the movie demolition man with stallone, when he is awaken 500 years in the future, and in the toilets there is no paper, no water, just 3 empty sea shells, on small one average and one big and he doesn't know what to do with it.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:40 PM
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Some of the scariest moments of my life are the few times I accidentally sat down to feel that cold rim instead of the seat, and I jumped up like a snake bit me in the butt.
I'm just wondering if he did it in public restrooms too.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:45 PM
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a reply to: Domo1
The West Coast absorbed refugees from Vietnam when Saigon fell in 1975. Famously referred to as "boat people" here, a lot of them were turned loose in the city of San Francisco. Those that spoke english were trained for jobs in Silicon Valley and some of them wound up at a nameless company I worked at. One day a lady broke her leg in the bathroom stall and everyone was tripping how that would even be possible when it was explained to us she had fallen while standing up on the rim to pee.

She had never seen a toilet before coming here was the claim and sadly, no one had taught her after she arrived.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:46 PM
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Can't believe through his whole life he wasn't in a public toilet and had the common sense thought of....
"WOW, that toilet rim is sooooo gross to sit on, sure it's not the right right way but what if I put the seat down and use it like a girl so it would be cleaner....."

I have seen some not so smart people in my life time but I find this story hard to believe.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:48 PM
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LOL




His mind would be blown.


a reply to: intrptr

Now that I could understand. The first time I was in Asia and went to a public restroom I decided it could wait till I got to the base. Here is why.




It is like a urinal laying on the ground at first I was like WTF then I was like ohhhh.

Standing seems to be a well known problem.

edit on 18-10-2014 by Grimpachi because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:57 PM
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I had a party at my place for a bunch of Koreans who were in the States to do a Tae Kwon Do exhibition.
I'm not sure if it was just one weirdo, or if it's a cultural thing. Someone sat on the pot backwards and copped a deuce.
There was a skid mark on the front edge of the seat. I just cleaned it up and didn't say anything.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 10:58 PM
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The problem is that toilet habits, along with other habits of an adult nature, are considered taboo to talk about.
My mother brought me up as a single parent for many years; she was either too embarrased, or did not know how to teach a number of things that I learnt later in life.

There are also places where you don't sit on a toilet at all, you just squat over a hole or behind a tree.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:07 PM
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Well technically you don't NEED the seat if you don't mind squatting. This reminds me of a bit from South Park.




posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:11 PM
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I was on an oil tanker from Sri Lanka for a couple of weeks doing some welding repairs to the engine cooling system. The restroom had no pots. There were just pipes in the floor.
There was no toilet paper, just water hoses.
I was very confused the first time I went to relieve myself.
The food was make-a-goat-puke atrocious, too.
At least the pay was good.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:14 PM
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a reply to: skunkape23

It's a cultural thing.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:19 PM
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a reply to: Domo1


Is this one cultural because it confuses me..err..well its kinda scary.





posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:20 PM
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OMG! Ahahahahahahaha!!!! Thanks for the laughs people! This thread cracked me up!!!!!!



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:21 PM
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originally posted by: Grimpachi
a reply to: Domo1


Is this one cultural because it confuses me..err..well its kinda scary.





What the...?????



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:37 PM
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a reply to: Grimpachi

It's only scary because you didn't watch the instructional video.




posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:38 PM
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a reply to: Night Star

I think it's a toilet/smartphone.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:41 PM
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a reply to: WakeUpBeer

Hahahaha! Can you imagine being in that Country and having to go really, really bad and seeing that thing? I'd pee or poop in my pants before figuring that thing out!



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:47 PM
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a reply to: Night Star

I'd be there frantically flipping through an English/Japanese dictionary desperate for answers. Or pages to sacrifice for tp.



posted on Oct, 17 2014 @ 11:49 PM
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a reply to: WakeUpBeer

It looks like it belongs on the space shuttle.


There should be a rule on how many buttons come on a toilet. I would never buy one of those my friends and I like to drink. That thing is dangerous I can just tell.



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