Is it okay to accept you will be alone till you die

Is it okay to be contempt in knowing you will die alone? I've actually been feeling very happy and optimistic about life despite the bull # going on in the world. I sort of feel like i'm glowing with positive/ comforting energy if that makes sense. No, i don't chit-chat with people, even the people i work with. I feel a completeness, an almost overwhelming feeling of contempt. I mean I feel so happy and comfortable with my life, i feel the need to ask my psychiatrist (you, the people of ATS have become my psychiatrist, whether you like it or not ha). I don't know, I feel too good to be true. The last time I felt this way... I don't know, 7 years old?

I ask because i've never known anyone to grow up virtually alone. Besides my high school Latin teacher.

a reply to: thirdcoast

There is nothing at all wrong with enjoying being alone. It is actually an incredibly healthy state of mind. I have been alone for the past eight years and am doing quite well and have no pangs of pain from the solitude - though I do not embrace it as a definitive and permanent state. What will come will come, either way I will be happy.

Thus the "until you die" part may be limiting and short sighted. How about "Alone until you potentially meet a person who changes your outlook"?

Aslomg as your happy living like that then go for it!! Its not often in life where we hit a spot that we are happy and trully content with everything in our life.

The less people around the less drama anyway i have like 2 friends and my family that is it, i just hit a point where i got tired of being the only one putting effort in to friendships and not getting the same in return, so many people take take take & not give, so your avoiding a whole lot of peoples crap by not bothering with them anyway! The less people i have to please the happier i am aswell & thats okay to be like that aslong as your not feeling lonely or whatever, if it works just go with it! Ofcourse your never really trully alone though, there is always someone out there for you even if you have to do a little searching, and there will always be someone to talk to if you need it, sometimes you just havs to do a little searching for that too.

There is nothing wrong with keeping to yourself aslong as your happy and comfortable like that! (:

a reply to: thirdcoast

Accepting it is a great thing IMHO. I was there at one point. I wouldn't rely on my answer as I am screwed up as hell and had an abnormally isolated childhood and adult life. (adult life out of choice)

Not everyone is a social creature.

a reply to: thirdcoast

I honestly think that if you're happy being alone, then keep yourself alone. I love solitude - So I can kind of relate, but I'm surrounded by family quite often. So I do have a bit of human interaction on a regular basis. I don't care much for society though; I don't often chat with people. I also don't have many friends at all, and I don't need friends - Just a single best friend/wife would be nice. I'd be happy with that.

Is it alright to be fine knowing you'll be alone until you die? Well, psychiatrists would probably argue that social interaction is extremely healthy, even if it is just a little bit, so they'd probably tell you that living life and then kicking the bucket all alone is a bad thing. Unfortunately, I don't know the "science" behind it, or if they're even right.

I think it really comes down to the type of person you are.

Whatever floats your boat.

a reply to: thirdcoast

"contempt" might not be the right word - maybe content? But yeah, I think that it's not unhealthy unless it makes you psychotic. If you start to feel begrudged, alienated/estranged, or any type of superiority or inferiority complex, then maybe you need to find someone/thing you can relate to/empathize with that is culturally "normal" or acceptable.

I think there is a fine line between enlightenment/disillusionment and disassociation that you might want to watch out for. If it is disassociation, it could bring you troubles if you let yourself feel troubled by it, or if you let it move you to do, or think, things that are generally prohibited. Like, don't get all cray cray and start to steal peoples pets or anything, lol. Don't indulge any crazy thoughts.

Just to make sure, you meant to type content and not contempt, right?

a reply to: thirdcoast

I totally agree with all the above members. I've been alone/single for over a decade now and for the most part, I'm happy (There are bumps from time to time). Enjoy it while you can!

As long as you are being honest with yourself, I guess its OK.

But lets be honest. You are connecting and socializing with other people right here. You felt some sort of need to talk about your issue..

I don't know about you, but I need at least some sort social interaction and affection. Not necessarily from people; like my cats make me feel good also.

There is the idea of Biophilia - the need for humans (and other beings) to connect or be in the presence of other living things.

I've had periods where I did not associate with other people, and after a while I felt a bit depressed. I think its important to socialize with other people and have someone you consider a friend.

I think its important to be around the right people. If its the wrong people, then maybe your better off alone. But if they're Ok, for the most part, you can still be social from a distance.

None of us have the same fingerprint even, so why should we all have the same social needs? We are all different and what is good for one might not be for another. I like my privacy and solitude balanced with a sprinkling of social contact. It has taken me some time to learn to listen to my inner self and not what other people "expect".

Greetings and Salutations- I'd opine that this is why many relationships fail, folks are looking for One to "complete Me" when they enter the relationship already complete. It appears to this "common passerby" that You've already solved One 'riddle' of Life. Those with actual "contempt" couldn't type the same ideas, as 'they' are still looking outside of their own Self for a myriad of 'things' To 'fulfill' (they are 'lacking') they need to feel "complete" (see above)

I'd also bet Your dreams are more lucid and vivid, You have a newfound energy and actually sleep 'less', You don't talk to anyBody because they know You'll tell them the truth, because You'll now 'say what You mean and mean what You say' (I'd bet Your co-workers go for idle chit-chat and look to be divisive not really talking about anything of any matter but usually to belittle someone not there, or folks they see as "other"..) It isn't that You don't "like them" You just don't want to hurt their feelings, or put them in a position where they'd have to defend their point, to You there is "no point"

It reads to Me that You have "awakened" and if that is indeed the case, it'll only get better from here on out, the wind You'll notice will now always be at Your back. "Time" or what You thought 'time' was, will be re-defined if it hasn't already.

I bet if You read "The Unveiling" or 'indigo transitioning into crystal/octarine...." by the author Sunfell You'd be absolutely amazed. It is a page long and would provide a link but am a computer neophyte. When/if You read it, You'd wonder how many are being mis-diagnosed as "depressed" when in fact, they've been RELEASED...

Luckily I had a psychiatrist that actually gave a shat. He is from India and suggested meditation. To do the meditation I looked on-line and found 'Ayurveda' and One thing led to another. When I began, I was on 7 Rx. meds and now the only 2 I still take are for pain due to a broken back/neck, and am on a lower dose than when I began.

If any of what I typed makes just a little sense, You owe YourSelf to read that page I mentioned...

namaste

I share Bleeep's sentiments, I was cool with the OP until i read the contempt part.if you in any way feel that you are the superior being and your colleagues are the lower,weaker more unsubstantial and couldnt possibly be getting as much out of life as you then i feel it is time to share your points of view with a professional.

originally posted by: PLAYERONE01
I share Bleeep's sentiments, I was cool with the OP until i read the contempt part.if you in any way feel that you are the superior being and your colleagues are the lower,weaker more unsubstantial and couldnt possibly be getting as much out of life as you then i feel it is time to share your points of view with a professional.

It's a typo. The OP meant to write 'content'.

I used to be this way, perfectly alright alone. As I have gotten older though I find myself wondering, will my children come see me when I am old? Will I feel alone? So good for you being okay alone, a lot of people fear it.

To quote David Spade when his married friends said he was jealous because they were in relationships and he wasn't:

"You know what, you're right - I am a little bit jealous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do whatever I feel like doing, all the time."

a reply to: thirdcoast

As long as you're not hurting yourself or others, I think that anything's completely fine. I'm completely the same in the way that I find happiness in my loneliness, not that I'm lonely when I'm alone. I have me, myself and I. I'd love to find a job where I didn't need to chit-chat.

P.s contempt means to strongly dis-like something. I think you're looking for the word content, which means to be at peace with the way things are; To be satisfied.

a reply to: thirdcoast

I personally feel that your own happiness should not rely on anyone else or anything. A state of mind type of thing. Whether you want to share that with someone else is entirely up to you, it does challenge your ability to govern your own happiness though.

Well I will disagree...but not completely.
Being alone and content is fine but you dont want a North Korea isolationist policy.
Independence is good, total independence is bad.
Just as commitment is good, total commitment is bad.
I suggest you enjoy your time when you can with people and also without them.
We are social creatures after all.

Though there is nothing wrong with being single, just as long as you dont end up having 30 cats and a house full of empty cat food tins

Life should be balanced, find the balance.

a reply to: Hefficide

Very similar to me. I am alone mostly and enjoy it. When I get into a group I try to be the center of attention and hope everyone has a good time...then I fade back away. In an odd way people then want to hang out with me more or invite me to more social functions which I usually turn down and am labeled a hermit. I just prefer to be alone with the occasional show I put on for people.

I place high value on my fellow human beings, and I like people in general. I also truly enjoy my solitude, and living alone. If you are content and happy, who are we to tell you differently? The only suggestion I would make is...balance. Humans are a social species. We need one another, whether we think we do or not. "Iron sharpens iron." Balance your solitude and social activity in a way that works for you. It's going to be different for each one of us. Nevertheless, you need both in proportion. IMHO.

It seems today—at least in the U.S.—that there must be something wrong with you if you’re alone. We praise the extroverts—those that know how to handle themselves in a crowd, the ones with vast network of friends. We think that working in groups and on teams is the only way to find the answer to a problem. That two heads are better than one. That “collaboration” is the only way of the future.

But the truth is that almost half of the world doesn’t agree. I don’t feel that way. Sometimes, the rhetoric gets so loud that I wonder what’s wrong with me when I don’t feel like going to parties, or working on big teams, or being the center of attention.

But there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m an introvert. And, according to some statistics, there’s about a 50% chance that you are, too.

If you’re an introvert, welcome to the club. There aren’t any meetings because we prefer to work alone, but you can at least take some solace in knowing you’re not the only one who feels the way you do.

For me, being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy going out or having friends or being the center of attention once in a while. It only means that it’s not where I get the most value from my life. There is great value in being alone. And handling it well is a beautiful thing.

At the very least, it’s a useful life skill. You can’t always control when there will be someone there for you, so being able to happily conduct yourself alone is an important part of being alive.