Darkness sometimes engulfs** a few poems

I have a few poems to share... Some hopeful ... Some in my state of depression ..



I stumble
I crumble
I fall
Tears stream
No dream
I fall
Heart aches
Body shakes
I fall
No feel
All real
I fall
Soft cries
Can't rise
I fall
Play dead
Instead
I fall
Can't see
Can't be
I fall
Hold fast
Gotta last
Don't fall


I stand up
I don't fall
I lift my chin
I stand tall
I see this face
I take my place
I stand tall
I smile with wonder
I don't wander
I stand tall
I hear melodies
I see goodness
I stand tall
I am joyful
I am blessed
I stand tall
I can't doubt
I can believe
I stand tall
I love beauty
It's my duty
To stand tall

Want the blood moon to swallow my soul
Leave me empty ..like a hollowed hole
Tears rain out ...quickly from eyes
I can't run or even try to hide
Take it in and take the pain
I have nothing to want or certainly gain
Streams flow down with such an ease
I truly think I need this release.. please
Falling over in a cringing manner
I have no white flag.. no happy banner
No one here to grab me up
I seem to have lost a lot of hope
Eyes swollen ...completely shut
It hurts so but comes from my gut
Have no idea ..how all will end
I just want my heart to seriously mend


Drag me to the gates of hell
Already here ... as I dwell
Voices echo a sad melody
Being pushed under quite swiftly
No one really actually cares
Heart breaks.. smashed.. bare
Spirit shatters into a million pieces
I can't hide now in any places
Let me die and let me be
I'm sick of blackness engulfing me


wander through this life of a maze
Loneliness takes over... stare is a glaze
Voices screaming in my head ..won't stop
I try to run but I trip up and flop
Is this the end of the puppet show?
How will I know, where will I go?
I try to push this demon away
She simply returns ready to stay
I feel small hope trying to come out
I yell at the voices, what's this about
Run
Flee
Let me be
Gather my thoughts to a happy memory
Filled with love and also with glee
I live in the darkness at certain times
I'll see the light again as I climb
When I've fallen deep down in my well
I'll come back out surely feeling swell


The days are long ...not on cue
I sadly sit here .. tears aren't few
Lord have mercy on my soul
I'm only left with a gapping hole
I know this will pass.. I just can't see
Blurry eyes blind... All of me
I simply want this blackness to go
I need a beauty to reveal and glow
I wish at times... certain love was shown
Then I feel as if everything has blown
Who's to say what's really real
I cower down low and try to feel
My mind plays tricks .. Won't let me rest
I beckon a release for the very best


Why did you leave me?!?
Did you really think it would be okay?
Did you think it would make me stronger?
It hasn't
I'm weak
I only wear a mask now
I stay in my well
Now my mammy is sick
Your mother!!!
You're not here!!
And I have to handle this on my own
I don't want to
But I have to
I have to
No one understands
Maybe one or two
But it still feels like no one
Everyone hides
Everyone fakes
Everyone lies
I'm done
I'm done
I want to be released
I want to join the next realm
I want to be done
But in reality
I can't be done
My son
He needs me
I'm not strong
But I can pretend
Wear my mask
Fake my smile
Inside I'm dying
Inside ... I'm dying


The friends I get close to wind up to be crazy
I don't understand this one bit
The friends I want ..live too far away
The positive lights have darkened out
I don't know what to do
Crying helps but hurts my head
I'm scared
I'm lonely
I have no one
I have no one
Where's my true friend?
I don't know
No one here now
But lil ole me
I can't speak
I can't sleep
My mind is closed
I'll keep it closed
Secrets held within
Stay within


That's it for now my friends .. Thank you for reading
Peace and love
-nat the blue eyed cat-

It's good that you write; it helps to get all of those negative feelings out so you can make room for the more positive ones.

I liked your poems. Honesty is refreshing.

I once read "the height of your joy cannot exceed the depth of your sorrow." It's in the book 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran; I think you would love that book. It's a very small, but life-changing read for someone doing soul searching.

Wishing you peace.

a reply to: nugget1
Oh I love ya avatar!! I shall check that book out.. I love a good read..
I wrote four of those poems today within a few hours.. I'm just going through things and I needed to release and writing always helps
I need more positivity I know.. But darkness sure has some good writing
I always pull through.. I like to share my darkness and then I can go towards the light.. Thanks for reading
-nat

Great poems as always Nat! Sometimes I too know that darkness. Love your avavtar!

Yes. Well done!

Keep all your writing, no matter how cringeworthy and rewrite them - you will always learn new words and new ways of saying things - and there will always be someone who will appreciate them - they're also a nice little, poetic journal you can read back on.

Chins up and write!

Å99

P.s. God! I didn't mean these are cringeworthy!

You are very gifted, wish I could write that well.

Hugs and love, Glen

a reply to: natalia

Beautiful as always, Nat.

I want to reach through the computer screen and give you a big hug!

a reply to: akushla99
Hey thanks!! I have a ton of diff journals and I write a bunch of my poems on my phone and so I've been in the process of writing them down on paper so I will have them forever. Cause one day.. All the power could go out and if I didn't write them down I would be super sad!!
Thanks again

a reply to: Night Star
Hey nightstar thank you .. I feel we all go through darkness so we can see the light
Hope you're doing swell.
And thanks Cody made this avatar for me

a reply to: Jennyfrenzy
Hey thanks friend. A hug would be great!!
Virtual hugs!!!

a reply to: glend
Hey thanks for reading
We all have a lil poet inside.. Just try