a reply to: Nechash
Thanks for the ironic moment. I really needed that today. ;p
Sorry I abandoned this thread, but I was out and about celebrating my girlfriend's mother's birthday. It was fun, and I got to have very interesting
moments not only with my close family members, but with a few random strangers as well.
I almost accidentally broke Angel's mom; however, so sorry about that. She was talking about an acid trip she had when she was a teenager and I sat
straight up, looked at her and I said, "I know Susan, you've never awoken from that trip. Some day, this drug will wear off and you'll return to
1978 as if none of this ever happened. Enjoy!" She started shaking until Angel snapped her fingers and said, "Mom," glaring at me in that cute way
she does. Susan just starts laughing, "You don't understand, I was going through at least 20 memories and really wondering about everything." Lol,
if her and I didn't come from the same neverland stock, I wouldn't tease her like that. She always used to screw with me when I was younger, but she
was much better at it because her father was a master chess player and a great hypnotist.
Anyway, I got to spend the afternoon with my nephew Damian and eat Polish food. So amazing: pierogies, sauerkraut, kielbasa and halushka, made me miss
Pittsburgh so much. Trying to walk the balance between my interior world, the conflicts of this world, the love of my family and the belief systems I
keep trying to destroy. Every time I think I'm beginning to perceive things as they really are, I discover an entirely new layer of troubles to sort
through. When Pandora opened her box it sure was a doozy!
We took him to a play place for kids to just be themselves (no large costumes of mice around thankfully), and took him on the jungle gyms. He was too
afraid to jump forward off of this two foot ledge with a padded platform, so I told him to turn around on his stomach and let himself drop down. He
got to the point where his feet were all of an inch and a half off the ground and he just froze up, too committed to pull himself back up, but too
afraid to let go.
There was real terror in his eyes, and I realized then maybe why we are all so hard on one another. We really do at times think it is for the best,
and maybe sometimes it is even necessary. I told him, "don't worry, just let go and you'll be safe. It is ok," but it wasn't enough to convince
Angel was above him and she said to him, "Damian, I know you are afraid now, but you are ok. I'm going to push you and when you land, you'll
realize how silly all this fear really was." She did push him. He fell all of two inches and caught himself. He was scared, but he made it through.
Seeing the real terror in that small child made me realize how similar he and I really are on a fundamental level. How many things in my life do I
worry about when in the end there really was nothing to dread all along? It is times like these that I envy my parent's certainty. Their
fundamentalism and puritanism does bestow upon them the ability to face this life courageously and that is a feature I'd like to figure out how to
reproduce in my more freeform life.
Anyway, you all have a great day, and I'm sorry if any of you had any emotional turmoil over this. I honestly didn't intend to actually troll
anyone, just to share a glimpse into the humor behind trolling, which is a feature of the internet community that I have found enjoyable since I was a
small child. ;p