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CDC Attempts To Put Ebola Outbreak In Perspective By Releasing List Of Worse Ways To Die

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posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:22 PM
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Is this some kind of joke. Reads more like a Letterman Top Ten

This does nothing to soothe fears. If anything it's much worse, if they have to come up with falling into a wood chipper, climbing out, only to fall back in again. Good grief.

source


WASHINGTON—Hoping to downplay fears of a potential Ebola outbreak in the United States, CDC officials aimed to put the disease in perspective Monday by releasing a list of worse ways to die than the infectious hemorrhagic virus. “It is understandable that individuals may be concerned by the presence of Ebola in the United States, but the general public should relax and recognize that there are quite a number of ways of dying that are, in fact, more terrible than succumbing to this disease; indeed, we were able to come up with several dozen,” said CDC director Thomas Frieden, adding that the 50-item list, which is currently available on the agency’s website, includes scenarios such as contracting leprosy and smallpox simultaneously, suffering dozens of infected bullet and stab wounds, and falling into an industrial-size wood chipper, climbing out part way, and then falling back in again. “While the public should continue to exercise a prudent level of caution, also remember that you could trip and land in a vat of caustic industrial solvent that slowly eats away at your body, or you could be sucked out of a jagged, shattered airplane window at 38,000 feet. We do not take your worries lightly, but know that there are, conceivably, more awful ways to go.” Frieden further attempted to assuage the American populace by reminding them that dying of Ebola in the United States was still a far better experience than dying of Ebola in Africa.




posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:29 PM
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More pathetic fear porn. CDC can't get jack right.

Oh my goodness. Can't leave the house. Maybe we should all be afraid of Africans now?

Yea, right. CDC can smd



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:31 PM
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Of horrible ways to die, I'd place death by Ebola directly above burning to death in a fire.

I can't think of a soul in this world I would wish that kind of death on.

imo



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:32 PM
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I'm not sure if you are serious. It's a joke...



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:33 PM
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a reply to: Gully

Satire, still makes a good point.




posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:34 PM
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The Onion?

Can we confirm this insanity from the CDC themselves?

But I wouldn't put it past them to publish something this maniacal.

The CDC has had some real maniacs working there.




posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:34 PM
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These may be worse, but are they a rarer event than an Ebola outbreak or not? That is the real question... lol

... so the CDC considers dying in the US a better experience?... man...lol

Your source is the Onion... Isn't that some kind of false but funny news/jokes site kind of thing?



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:36 PM
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a reply to: violet


Is this some kind of joke?


Is your source The Onion?

I'll give you this ... the point is clear. When I fly on an airplane at 38,000 ft., I have absolutely zero concern about being sucked through the jagged remains of a shattered window.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:37 PM
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falling into an industrial-size wood chipper, climbing out part way, and then falling back in again.


Of course its a joke, sort of.

Is this a worst way to die thread for fun? I got a few. They ain't funny.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:39 PM
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originally posted by: intrptr



falling into an industrial-size wood chipper, climbing out part way, and then falling back in again.


Of course its a joke, sort of.

Is this a worst way to die thread for fun? I got a few. They ain't funny.


Don't allow a crisis to go to waste. Let's hear what you got.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:42 PM
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No offense, OP (truly!) but I think ATS should have a rule that anyone who posts the Onion as a serious source has to wear an onion symbol on their avatar for a week.
So many times, I click a thread and waste my time reading a story, only to see that it's a satire piece from the O.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:42 PM
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Well, this does come from the CDC ... although I'm not sure how serious you can take The Onion.

And I'm not seeing anything on the CDC's Ebola page, but maybe they put their jokes out straight to The Onion.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:45 PM
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I would still pick any of those over slowly wasting away in a nursing home.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:48 PM
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My bad. Yes I see now it was satire.
I looked for where it might say satire on the page and missed it. The satire sites usually make it very clear

Mods please move to jokes forum.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:49 PM
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a reply to: violet

You did not seriously just quote The Onion!! LOL I love The Onion but that would be like using Saturday Night Live Weekend Update from SNL as a source.




posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:52 PM
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a reply to: violet

Lol I just shared this on fb. I'm still amazed every time someone takes the onion seriously. I think there was a politician that recently got taken in by it.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:55 PM
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I bet Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi believe it's real !!






posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 08:55 PM
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a reply to: violet



I don't think it's that funny considering.....Onion or not......seems like so much is confronting us that contains no humor whatsoever.



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 09:00 PM
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a reply to: violet

Don't feel bad though violet, a Nigerian news site actually took a story that was pulled from thenewsnerd.com (an Onion wannabe,) about an ebola vaccine that only works on whites and ran with it!

Nigerianwatch...



posted on Oct, 6 2014 @ 09:03 PM
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a reply to: conspiracytheoristIAM

I think they were putting the spotlight on how much of a joke the CDC have been during the course of dealing with this situation.



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