Im in a crossroads in my life. Can you help me? I have no one to talk to....

I feel like im in a rut. A crossroads in life.I'm 23 and I have 70 credits in college and was studying engineering. my gpa in the first semesters were 3.5-3.0 but then it got down to 2.5 and 2.0. Now my cumulative is 2.5. I was super depressed. My dad said he wasn't going to pay for college anymore.

I didnt know what to do. I didnt like it. i felt and still feel like Im not mature enough to go to school so I decided I would go to the Air Force which my father was happy about but its been 9 months now waiting to get in and I havent gone to meps yet (which normally doesnt take that long). I did not go to school during that time because my school was very far away from me.

I had 4 recruiters in the process so all of them had to re-evaluate everything and now Im stuck with a newbie recruiter who made so many mistakes (not telling me to fill out certain forms) which elongated the process. Now I'm dealing with a problem that is out of my hands which I feel could take at least 2 months for it to be resolved so I can finally go to meps. I haven't gone to school for two semesters.

Now, my dad says hell pay all of my tuition expenses for college if I would go again. He felt bad that I was waiting. Should I just wait it out, or go back to school for another semester.

a reply to: 5letters

What are you good at? I left the college game and am now building up a career based on my merits rather than a degree. It's going fairly well so far. A lot of it was luck though. I just found a random job opportunity at a fledgling business and then ran with it.

I'm sorry to hear that you're in a tough spot right now, but we all have obstacles in life - especially during the time of young adulthood when you're trying to establish yourself and find out what you want to do/be.

If I were in your shoes though I would take up your father on his offer to help with school and at least keep yourself busy, doing something productive and beneficial for your future. "Waiting it out" sounds like a recipe for disaster, especially if you are already experiencing depression.

Wishing the best for you and hope to see a post from you in the future that tells of how you overcame this challenging time and found your way again.

Keep the faith and stay positive - only you can make the choice to lead a productive life a reply to: 5letters

a reply to: 5letters

If you are over 18, have a high school diploma, and are in physical shape, an Army recruiter can get you to meps to take that entrance test in a week or two, although from my experience even with a nearly perfect score the military has very few openings in interesting career fields.

If you really want a military route, I'd finish a bachelors degree and go in as an officer. You don't have to take an engineering degree in order to qualify for that. Look at another degree program that isn't so calculus oriented that some of your credits might transfer over towards. Or change the type of engineering you are doing. I won't be mean here, but not all engineers are created equal and certain types of engineering degrees are a bit easier than other types. Just look for the students who aren't as stressed or competitive with one another, that is generally a good sign that their program is more doable than the caffeinated alphas who think they are going to be making six or seven figures some day.

A pure math degree might also interest you as you probably already have taken most of their core courses and there are special grants provided by the military for math majors plus there is the national SMART grant once you get your grades back up. If you like puzzles, look into cryptoanalysis. It is a fun way to employ math that doesn't have the elitist stresses associated with engineering. Or there's always physics, which becomes mainly about math beyond a certain point. You have options.

What do you want to do? Are you in school because your father wants you to be? If that's the case, you'll probably not be happy even if you graduate successfully and you might be sabotaging yourself because you secretly resent having to be in this program in the first place. Take a second, clear your head and think about what you actually want out of this life. If someone came forward to you and told you that you won a lottery to become employed doing the job of your dreams, and they handed you an envelope with a job title inside of it, what title is in there? Think about the alternatives available to you. Which ones relieve you, which ones excite you, which ones cause anxiety in you, which ones do you dread, which ones make you shed tear of joy. Those last ones are the nuggets of gold. Make those the center of your life and it won't matter to you how many zeroes are at the end of your paycheck at the end of the week.

Yeah take up your dads offer. Better to be active and busy rather than just waiting for something to come along. Best wishes to ya.

Don't join the military unless you are 100% All for it.
Joining just to do something leads to a horrible time in the military, seen it first hand.
Unless you have some deep inner drive to serve this country, please rethink it.
If tour dad is going to pay for your school then go back

a reply to: 5letters

Are you an addict? Just asking because of your profile picture and that as an ex-addict myself I would understand your situation a bit better. If so the addiction may be contributing to your dismay.

a reply to: 5letters

What do you WANT to do? You have a lot more than those two options. A lot of times life gets defined for us - you seem young, so you have time to do other things and then decide. There's nothing better than working toward something you actually want to do, and I can tell that doesn't describe either of the two options you listed.

a reply to: 5letters

If your dad is offering to pay for school, I would do that instead.

Then, when you are done, you can be your own boss!

Don't join the military. Just don't.

Go back to school. At least you'll have a few semesters to think about your life while you are studying as opposed to the military immediately whipping you into shape and bending you to fit their agenda.

Stay in school son, joining the armed forces is no light decision, not with depleted uranium being used in rounds as well the human guinea pig factor (Gulf war vets that receieved forced Anthrax vaccines among many other "expriments" on our troops). I wouldn't join the Air Force, but I would stay in school if I were you, especially if your dad will pay for it.

a reply to: 5letters

I'm going to ask you to ask a question of yourself rather than give you advice.

You seem to have lost your driving force, and to be honest both options seem lost to you for the moment, mentally at least.
So go and find a mirror close your eyes and ask yourself "What do I most want to do with my life RIGHT NOW"

Think about that, when you've had a think open your eyes and ask the question again.

I did that at 23 years of age and decided I wanted to travel the world, it took me 10 years a bad marriage and 3 kids, but I found myself.

Best decision I ever made.

I served in the military in that time as well, it isn't for the faint hearted. Only join if you TRULY believe what you fight for as I did. Even then it can bite you in the backside.

Cody

a reply to: Nechash

If you really want a military route, I'd finish a bachelors degree and go in as an officer.

Bingo!!

Best advice you'll get.

Im responding to everyone on here in one big response:

1) What do you want to do? Are you in school because your father wants you to be?

That's part of it yeah, but I do want to go to school. To be completely honest, I love to draw. A lot. I don't know how to make a career out of it because I'm a very pessimistic person. I look at the negatives in me all of the time. I would love to open up a hookah bar. I've always thought of it. But that needs hundreds of thousands of dollars that you need initially.

2) Are you an addict?

No. That's just my picture. It's supposed to be a theme of being addicted to technology. Just for fun.

3) What do I most want to do with my life RIGHT NOW

To draw.

a reply to: 5letters

It's a no-brainer. Get a degree (perhaps in another field) and go from there.

Well, if you got the time and the resources, going to college isn't bad.

Sounds like you are a little frustrated with the government. Don't blame yourself for their mess ups. They must actually go to school to learn to mess up as much as they do. Have patients, as soon as you pay your tuition they will call and tell you to report in a week. This way you paid for something you won't be using. Ask the college if they will bank your money and allow you to finish after getting out for the service beforehand in case this happens. They might have something in place. Remember though, get something in writing because conveniently evidence disappears. Remember they are a part of the government's program and they might get trained to mess up to.

a reply to: 5letters

If you had a choice of the ultimate job what would that be? Is that achievable for you? And if not are there are other avenues of being in that field? Ie: some want to be a vet but don't have the marks or money and it takes years so perhaps an animal tech or a vet receptionist. That's what I'm getting at.

Do you want to join the air force? If so then it's worth it to wait. Unfortunately they are people just like others that screw up except in this case it's affecting you. If there is a way for you to be on top of them and know what they are supposed to be doing perhaps you can just keep an open communication with them, keep checking up your status.

There are lots of trades that pay good. Simply apply and work as an apprentice and make some good money. You still have to go for school but it's just I think a month out of every year - that is if you want to get your ticket.

Ahhh, I just skipped forward a bit and see you love to draw. Keep up the drawing. This is your passion, without it you will feel dead inside. Unfortunately I personally know too many artists who went to art school/university for art and then ended up having to take jobs that had nothing to do with art just in order to make a living. Unless perhaps you can become an art teacher but again you have to go to school and learn other subjects to teach (I think, I could be wrong).

You're so young, just 23. But unfortunately I have to say it is now up to you to make a life for yourself. I do hope that you find something that you enjoy as when you hit 40 and then 50 all of a sudden you realize you have the young people to compete with who grew up with technology and going back to school at an older age is usually not financially an option and with a spouse/kids/bills no time.

If you want to enter the military go for it but as others have said only join if this is truly where you want to be. You will become a puppet and there are political games in there as well, not everything is cut and dried. And you are always at the mercy of being called to go to duty and for some they don't realize the horrors of what they will experience and see and I don't see any veterans, whether in Canada or the States, that are treated and compensated for in the manner that they deserve.

Let us know how it goes. I wish you all the best.

P.S. Your art is so detailed/colorful and wild. I like it!!

originally posted by: 5letters
Im responding to everyone on here in one big response:

1) What do you want to do? Are you in school because your father wants you to be?

That's part of it yeah, but I do want to go to school. To be completely honest, I love to draw. A lot. I don't know how to make a career out of it because I'm a very pessimistic person. I look at the negatives in me all of the time. I would love to open up a hookah bar. I've always thought of it. But that needs hundreds of thousands of dollars that you need initially.

2) Are you an addict?

No. That's just my picture. It's supposed to be a theme of being addicted to technology. Just for fun.

3) What do I most want to do with my life RIGHT NOW

To draw.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh it's our egg friend again

Then draw......................you obviously have a talent, a very great talent if I may say so.

Maybe get a portfolio together and think about textile design or advertising, think outside the box, think where your talent can take you, a degree is always good, I have one in psychology, but I make furniture for a living because working with wood is my passion. I have a friend that is a jazz artist, he makes money by turning up at jazz venues and "Painting the music man". Can't stand it myself but he makes good money selling his art at the end of the gigs.

All he wanted to was paint and listen to jazz, we had the same conversation. His art is really impressive stuff, what he doesn't sell at the gigs he sells online.

Just a thought

Cody

ETA: Tattoo artist........................Now there's a thought

a reply to: 5letters

You are not a quitter till you quit. I struggled as well during my years as a student in electrical engineering. Don't give up, school is always very broad, when you join the work force things change.

Life is a challenge, it will never stop and you must not let it get to you.

I would suggest looking back on that semester where things got out of hand and analyzing what went wrong.

Are you mentally handicapped? If no then, You probably are just lazy, you can cure laziness with hard work. There is no secret.

There is so much you can do once you have that paper from the university.

Are you depressed because of that specific semester? If yes, i would suggest you buck up.

Good luck!

Awesome drawings by the way.