posted on Sep, 23 2014 @ 12:42 AM
I am freezing and suffering once again, another cycle, another pattern. Why? What is it about trivial creativity that is worth of all of this? I am
sorry for the state of things, and not just for the misery I must endure, but for all of us. There is that tiny voice whispering that this is an
illusion, that everything will be ok, but is that another trick? I am a leaf in a hurricane and I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I
know I don't want to contribute to the darkness and ugliness of this world, but something really has a pull on me. Am I beyond liberation? Am I so
far gone that I will never find my way home? I am afraid to do anything.
Write a story. What if it has some message I am unaware of?
Build a business. What if I am consumed by the lust for money?
Effect change on a local level. What if I am consumed by the lust for power?
Seek out hedonism. What if I am swept away by my ego?
Do something! Bear your talents into reality! Produce offspring! What if I am playing into sinister hands?
You beat a dog repeatedly and you shut it down. I don't know who could possibly be motivated by this insane system. Maybe there is nothing wrong with
me. Maybe there is something wrong with your expectations about what might motivate me. Wealth, Power, Status, Fear, Anxiety, Insanity. None of this
matters to me. I love this world and I love these people. I love our independence and I love our potential, but I hate deception. Full disclosure, no
surprises or nothing at all. These shadow games, this darkness, this illusion must be rejected. It is, itself an absolute evil and we should not have
to tolerate its presence in our lives anymore.