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Tween Angst - What advice would you give your middle school self now, that you didn't know then?

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posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 01:41 PM
That one day, one hour, can make a massive difference in your situation and this too, shall pass.

Do that which scares you the most (unless it's robbing a bank or something...).

I put my oldest in a private school for the middle school years and it probably saved his life; he wasn't exactly getting along with the jocks. Looking back on it, I should have pulled him out completely after that point (couldn't afford the private school anymore) and let him homeschool himself with strict supervision with limits on video games. He tended to be lazy, but brilliant.

Oh, and learn a round house kick.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 01:43 PM
a reply to: kosmicjack

I think your message is excellent and is exactly the right one. Now, you just have to keep repeating it. Over and over. And over. Even when you both are sick of it.

Even when he says, "Mom, I KNOW already."

Even if he completely disregards it and falls on his face. At that point you'll at least have the satisfaction of an "I told ya".

Kids of that age are the most frustrating of all. They're like 13 and think they're 25 and are more capable of pressing your buttons than they are at any other age. And will do it, sometimes because they're so frustrated about something going on that they won't talk to you about, but you're still the easiest and most convenient target.

My best advice dealing with a kid in that age bracket, never raise your hands to them.

It leaves your groin unprotected.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 01:45 PM
a reply to: kosmicjack

I didn't raise my kids, my ex wife did, and what a fantastic job she did !!
I asked them how she had raised them, the answer.

She taught us to study hard, to be the best students we can, if we were bored to go help other students.

To make sure we put time aside for each other

To be ourselves and not bend to the crowd if we think the crowd is wrong

(This one I love) If you aren't sure what do in a situation, think what my honest answer would be and follow it.

To have fun whenever we can, if we can incorporate it into study so much the better.

And never make a promise you can't, or won't keep.

If you want something you have to work for it, I'll get you the best I can, or I'll ask dad for help. But only if you've earned it.

Worked a treat on my kids, they are honour students, excel at sport and my daughter just started training to be an F16 pilot. I owe my a debt of gratitude I will never be able to repay.


edit on 19/9/14 by cody599 because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 02:22 PM
a reply to: kosmicjack

-Spend more time with mom and dad, they will be dead by the time you are 25
-Join the coast guard and go to engineering school for free
-Don't date you know who when you turn 18, no matter how hot she is

That's all. In light of it all, I've done the best I can. Not too many regrets as most everything has been out of my hands. The stuff that is in my hands I work to change.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 02:24 PM
a reply to: TerryMcGuire
Really? That's the golden nugget of wisdom you thought my OP was looking for? Not so much.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 02:26 PM

originally posted by: occrest
I would say..."Tell that girl she can keep her 'cigarettes'..", "stay away from the arcade" and "at least learn to drive before you think of stealing the car"

All that to a away from the guy in the black leather jacket. Nuff said.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 02:31 PM
a reply to: kosmicjack

If only this was possible, knowing my teen self it's doubtful I would have listened to my adult self!

The advice of give would be:
1. Don't be truant from school to hang out with your friends that won't be your friends later in life.
2. Go to school, don't be truant and go to college.
3. Be comfortable with yourself and don't be afraid of self-expression. If you love the shoes you're wearing, who cares if others think they look like "witch" shoes. Be yourself and be happy with yourself.
4. Blood really is thicker than water.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 02:32 PM

originally posted by: AccessDenied

originally posted by: occrest
I would say..."Tell that girl she can keep her 'cigarettes'..", "stay away from the arcade" and "at least learn to drive before you think of stealing the car"

All that to a away from the guy in the black leather jacket. Nuff said.

Hey now. Profile much.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 02:35 PM

originally posted by: AccessDenied

originally posted by: occrest
I would say..."Tell that girl she can keep her 'cigarettes'..", "stay away from the arcade" and "at least learn to drive before you think of stealing the car"

All that to a away from the guy in the black leather jacket. Nuff said.

I was that guy in the black leather jacket.
Still am, only older and wiser (hopefully)


ETA: Sorry Trep you beat me to it LOL
edit on 19/9/14 by cody599 because: (no reason given)

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 02:41 PM
a reply to: cody599

You should see mine. HIGH quality. I may not survive a crash but my jacket will.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 02:44 PM
a reply to: intrepid


First one to the pearly gates gets the round in


posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 03:08 PM

originally posted by: AllSourceIntel
1. It's not always about you, most of the time when someone comes at you with an issue, they are doing so because they are not sure how to deal with it within themselves but always recognize and admit where you fault and make corrections in your character..

I remember another part that went to this, and it works in so many situations ... "Don't ask a question if you are not prepared to hear the answer to that you might not like"

Some more that came to mind ...
"You may say 'you don't care' or 'it doesn't matter' or seem like you are not listening, but believe you me, 10 years from now my advice is going to click in your head and you will say, 'by golly he/she was right' and you will understand ... sometimes I am giving you advice not just for the now, but because I know you'll come to embrace it later just as I did with my parents advice and so to with them and theirs ... I know and understand you will ignore it now, it is just part of being a teen"

"No, I remember exactly what it was like to be your age, that is precisely why I am saying/doing what I am"

"If you disagree with me or challenge my position on something have a logical and intelligent rebuttal rather than throwing a fit, otherwise I will pay no attention to you just as will happen when you are out on your own, on a job, at school, are in a relationship, or need to address some issue in your life."

"You can make any decision you wish, the decision is always yours, but understand there are consequences and repercussions to your decisions and actions that you have to take responsibility for. If a decision affects more than just you, you have to respect how it affects others and take that into consideration, if it affects just you, choose freely."

On a humorous note:
"When you have your own apartment, and your electricity bill is $200 or so because you left every light on, the a/c on full blast, and your xbox on pause 24/7 and you can't pay the bill or your rent, expect to be evicted or the power shutoff because I will not pay it for you ... now go turn everything in your room off before you leave"

Which reminds of what my dad always said "did you grow up in a barn!?"

Disclaimer: My quotes are not verbatim from when I spoke them, and they seemed more enlightening at the time then as I read them. Anyone feel free to take them and mold them to your special message to your special persons.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 03:35 PM
Avoid the pretty girls. They are more trouble than they are worth. Try to be the smartest guy in school, then find the smartest girl in school and attach yourself like a tick.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 03:38 PM
a reply to: kosmicjack

I would say, "Life gets better."

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 03:48 PM
a reply to: beezzer

...and then worse, then a little better again then really bad then you recover from that and it's great then it goes bad for awhile... etc

No matter how bad or how good things are, change is inevitable. Embrace the good and maximize your opportunity for that, weather the bad and prepare for it as best you can. And that's about all you can do.

Aside from the regular medicinal consumption of distilled or fermented beverages. But do as I say, not as I do.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 04:43 PM
I'd tell my meek shy self to maybe possibly wash your hair more. That's gross. It's probably why people don't like you and look at you like a nasty filth and hate you. And it's Jr High - kids really really judge, then-me. Youre making it too easy. I woulda knocked me around too, if I knew then what I know (have known) now.

I'd then tell myself to stand tall. Stop looking at the ground when I'd walk, make eye contact, find some way to become self confident. Respect myself. Shower more and respect yourself, then-me. Wtf.

Oh and stop trying to get all the boys to like you. It looks desperate. I know you/I was desperate to be liked, to fit in, to be someone other than an upturned nose and 'ewwwww it's (enter my name here)", to be something more than 2 feet on the staircase between classes. Yanno what though, kiddo, me? I'm 41 now and I have self confidence and respect and self love. I make friends easily. I'm always positive. Perhaps you need to go through that gross stage of your life in order to realize later what you do not want to be.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 04:45 PM
Adding on because it refused to post this half for some wonky reason.

But yeah, if you could like work on your grades? Stop being a below C level student. We are screwed today because of that. Idiotic me ....You are now a min wage worker with your son and though things have seemed to fall into place at the midnight hour, come on. To my yesterday self : get your ass into one of those factories and make a decent 12 to 16 an hour. wtf me.

I will never learn if I keep repeating the same bs over and over.
7th grade me, this is some life, huh?
I'm confident however where you are not.
Grab that confidence sooner.
But definitely do leave home at 19 cuz even though you fall into one hell of a bad influential people and stuff, you went through that to learn what not to be, to have your now 19 yo son and to find the man you are with today. things happen for reasons.
gotta trust in that. Bad always leads to good.
And can't have the good times without the bad.
Life is a see saw. Bad, good, good, bad.
Smile during the good so you can remember and smile during the bad.
And whatever happens, then-me, you lil 7th grader, when you fall - and you will.... life trips all of us hard, after all.... wallow for a little while but you keep moving forward. Pull yourself by your fingertips if you must but you move forward. don't give up. Pull yourself up and crawl and finally you WILL get back on your feet again. You will.

I promise. The amount of people you inspire due to learning how to fall and get up and stay positive will make this min wage life worth it. This is what we are here for, me. Then-me. Now me.

Be happy for what I have.
Not all of us can live comfortably - but we all live.
That's the most important knowledge. Love, me.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 06:32 PM
a reply to: kosmicjack

Well Kosmic.. Your title asked one question, what would I tell myself at that age while your post asked for an entirely different question. I answered the first question. What would I tell myself.

I thought you were asking a general question and not looking for a specific answer. As I look back over my life as I near my 70th BD, I look back and wonder about many of my choices. Do I have regrets? Few. But one I do have was believing in the sexual restrictions of the Judeo-Christian culture in which I was raised. Had I known then, what I think I know now I would not have had such an uptight repressive sex life as a young man. Take that or leave it, that is the one thing I would impart to my younger self, besides buying Microsoft.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 07:11 PM
Start meditating and waking up, remembering who you are, and finding out what you really wish to do, dream big, and do it to help wake others up.

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 07:20 PM
a reply to: kosmicjack

Oh, boy, you opened a can of worms

I'd tell my teen self...

1. Don't waste your time chasing after that girl - Not only was she a flirt, but she will grow up still being a flirt, tease you in high school, and ultimately have a kid and marry a football player. Pursue that other girl, the one that is rather quiet and shy, because she remembered you a lot more and she would have probably gone out with you if you asked her.

2. Learn HTML, because when you get older, you will find that computers comes second nature, and you will make a decent living doing so. Plus, skip the trade school; learn now, and you won't need the 50K in debt.

3. Slow down! Although your ability to walk fast lends you an air of authority when walking into a room, was it really worth being picked on? Really?

4. In real life, you will not be handed anything, nor will you be able to get away with just sitting all night long playing games; start getting as much done in a day, because when you get to high-school, college, and your relationship, there won't be any time for you.

5. Lighten up, and talk to people - You have that personality where when you step into a room, people's heads turn; if you talk, they will listen.

6. Don't be afraid to be a leader - again, people expect you to be the one to take charge, and although you do covertly help people, it's the act of helping that people remember. You're a good friend to them, stay that way.


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