In light of the Adrian Peterson fiasco, I would like to discuss corporal punishment of children.

originally posted by: Briles1207
a reply to: GrantedBail

Beating/smacking children is very lazy parenting in my opinion. If you don't have the vocabulary to articulate to your child and try and work out what is the underlying cause of their behaviour, you may as well have bought a cat.

Not necessarily. If your child plays sports, he or she probably subjects him or her self to more pain/punishment than a smack. In the "old days" children got smacked. And, most of the time, they learned not to rob, steal or kill.

E2A, I'm not about hitting your kids for the hell of it. But, I'd rather smack my own kids ass than let them be punished by the law for something I could have taught them from the gate where they either end up in jail or dead.

originally posted by: OptimusCrime

originally posted by: Briles1207
a reply to: GrantedBail

Beating/smacking children is very lazy parenting in my opinion. If you don't have the vocabulary to articulate to your child and try and work out what is the underlying cause of their behaviour, you may as well have bought a cat.

Not necessarily. If your child plays sports, he or she probably subjects him or her self to more pain/punishment than a smack. In the "old days" children got smacked. And, most of the time, they learned not to rob, steal or kill.

Just because things were done "in the old days" does not mean it is right. You may be correct that children had more "respect" or "fear" of their elders, but I would love to see some statistics which show those who were beaten as children vs. violent crimes committed in later life. Smacking kids serves no purpose other than to instil fear.

If a young kid is depressed and acting up due to the divorce of their parents for example, and just gets beaten every time they throw a tantrum, how is that beneficial?

originally posted by: Briles1207

originally posted by: OptimusCrime

originally posted by: Briles1207
a reply to: GrantedBail

Beating/smacking children is very lazy parenting in my opinion. If you don't have the vocabulary to articulate to your child and try and work out what is the underlying cause of their behaviour, you may as well have bought a cat.

Not necessarily. If your child plays sports, he or she probably subjects him or her self to more pain/punishment than a smack. In the "old days" children got smacked. And, most of the time, they learned not to rob, steal or kill.

Just because things were done "in the old days" does not mean it is right. You may be correct that children had more "respect" or "fear" of their elders, but I would love to see some statistics which show those who were beaten as children vs. violent crimes committed in later life. Smacking kids serves no purpose other than to instil fear.

If a young kid is depressed and acting up due to the divorce of their parents for example, and just gets beaten every time they throw a tantrum, how is that beneficial?

See, here's the problem, you're putting extra numbers into the equation. When it comes to depression and divorce and the whole nine, then they need to see a certified psychologist if they're having issues. I'm talking about straight out bad behavior.

a reply to: OptimusCrime

But as most people aren't qualified psychologists, how do you know the child is just being badly behaved, and that there isn't an underlying cause/problem which if addressed, could halt it permanently?

I just think that striking a child serves no purpose other than a short term solution.

Also if your child hits another child, do you then hit your child to tell them its wrong to hit?

originally posted by: Briles1207
a reply to: OptimusCrime

But as most people aren't qualified psychologists, how do you know the child is just being badly behaved, and that there isn't an underlying cause/problem which if addressed, could halt it permanently?

I just think that striking a child serves no purpose other than a short term solution.

Also if your child hits another child, do you then hit your child to tell them its wrong to hit?

I'm sure by witnessing your childs behavior for months/years you know if they're being a dick or not. I can't speak at underlying causes, maybe you can?

I don't think putting your kid in timeout works. That's just me.

I would sign my kid up for some sports, because, obviously, if he's hitting others, he needs a better way to get it out. Maybe it's the parents being bad parents if your kid is acting like that?

a reply to: OptimusCrime

Well that's my point, If your child is hitting other kids, surely that stems from that child being struck by their parent? So you cant beat them to tell them beating is wrong as it was your fault in the first place ha-ha.

Its a minefield granted.

Also, most parenting is passed down the generations so I imagine its pretty difficult to break the cycle.

We have a little circular mat in our house. The naughty spot. Sounds lame. But what's amazing is because we used it from such a young age, no matter how much our 2 year old cries and shouts and moans during a tantrum, he will not move from that spot. (in the beginning we just kept putting him on it, even if it was 50 times in a row) until he realised that he had to stay on it for 3 mins (a long time in his world lol)

Now we just say "Do that again and you're on the naughty spot".

Whats even better is sometimes if he knows hes done something he shouldn't he goes and sits on it without us saying anything haha!

a reply to: Snarl I concur... damn, do I concur.

a reply to: Briles1207

Let me know how your naughty spot works out when your child figures out he can break the yellow tape. What next? Hold him there? You're going to see it won't work.

a reply to: OptimusCrime

Here's the last thing I have to say about this and I'm out.

If you have a problem child, you better find an outlet for him or her asap. Whether it's painting, sports or whatever.

'Qualified psychologists'

Only if that so called qualified psychologist has successfully reared their own children to adulthood then I'd consider entertaining their opinions and 'theories' and even at that it would be taken as one parent sharing their experience to another.

Oh, wait, it sounds like a job for Grandparents...

originally posted by: Briles1207
a reply to: OptimusCrime

Well that's my point, If your child is hitting other kids, surely that stems from that child being struck by their parent? So you cant beat them to tell them beating is wrong as it was your fault in the first place ha-ha.

Its a minefield granted.

Also, most parenting is passed down the generations so I imagine its pretty difficult to break the cycle.

We have a little circular mat in our house. The naughty spot. Sounds lame. But what's amazing is because we used it from such a young age, no matter how much our 2 year old cries and shouts and moans during a tantrum, he will not move from that spot. (in the beginning we just kept putting him on it, even if it was 50 times in a row) until he realised that he had to stay on it for 3 mins (a long time in his world lol)

Now we just say "Do that again and you're on the naughty spot".

Whats even better is sometimes if he knows hes done something he shouldn't he goes and sits on it without us saying anything haha!

See, it doesn't prove the child is being struck. More kids hit other kids because they don't understand hitting is bad. When they get hit for hitting, they know it's bad.

double post.

originally posted by: OptimusCrime
a reply to: Briles1207

Let me know how your naughty spot works out when your child figures out he can break the yellow tape. What next? Hold him there? You're going to see it won't work.

That's the point it has been instilled from a very young age and is a proven method of discipline, especially in young children. "The spot" is irrelevant, its the fact they are obeying your command to stay there without the need of physically harming them.

Good luck smacking your kid when he's 21 and 6ft 3 and he's confronted with the person who used to beat him :-)

originally posted by: OptimusCrime
a reply to: GrantedBail

I'll tell you from my experience. My mom beat my butt, and by butt I mean my actual butt, when I did something wrong. I never felt abused or any of that. But, I knew I could never do what I did again that caused me to get my butt beat.

Children who get put in time out with no consequences turn out to be assholes and usually get beat up by others who are tired of their snobby attitudes.

E2A, I was an asshole child and my parents taught me not to be. And, I appreciate they did.

For once il star and agree with you.

A good beating across the arse did me good.

originally posted by: Briles1207

originally posted by: OptimusCrime
a reply to: Briles1207

Let me know how your naughty spot works out when your child figures out he can break the yellow tape. What next? Hold him there? You're going to see it won't work.

That's the point it has been instilled from a very young age and is a proven method of discipline, especially in young children. "The spot" is irrelevant, its the fact they are obeying your command to stay there without the need of physically harming them.

Good luck smacking your kid when he's 21 and 6ft 3 and he's confronted with the person who used to beat him :-)

I don't think you've read the entire topic. I was hit, I'm 6'1 and 220 still playing sports with a degree in comp sci. I can help you with math if you want. I'm just saying it worked for me and probably many others to be taught a lesson or two. I wasn't told to sit on a little mat cause I wouldn't listen to that. anyway. you know your kid better than I do so this argument is actually pretty stupid.

originally posted by: OptimusCrime
a reply to: OptimusCrime

Here's the last thing I have to say about this and I'm out.

If you have a problem child, you better find an outlet for him or her asap. Whether it's painting, sports or whatever.

Also the term "problem child" would account for all children. Part of their development and growth is testing the boundaries, its a natural thing. They aren't "problem" children, they're normal children doing things children do to grow. Your role as an "adult" is to set boundaries and instill discipline whilst at the same time allowing freedom of expression. Its a fine line but one that becomes blurred if you try to physically educate them.

Anyway its a moot point as everyone is different.

A poster above mentioned the word "Lazy"
I think thats partly the problem, it takes time and effort to explain to a small child about bad behaviour but most parents these days dont have the time, they're too busy recovering from their slave job, so its easier for them to give the child a smack.
I think the main cause of hitting children is because the parents were smacked when they were children.

A child does not need to be smacked, or even placed on a naughty spot, they just need parents who understand them!

There is a fine line here, currently I agree that that spanking is not right for my child. But he is young and so its an easy decision for my family. But the question for me is, when to use spanking? Its such a delicate balance, but I believe your child should know that physical discipline can and will be used against them.

Poor example: Your 6-8 year old child is acting "disorderly" and talks back to you when you attempt to address their behavior, you calmly put them in timeout. Problem solved... at home.

What happens if the the next day the child is approached by a police officer and he acts the same way? Some LEOs will act rationally, some will not. Plenty of threads on here of children that age being tased or worse.

How exactly do you teach your child that out in the real world improper behavior can a will result in physical violence being used against them if they have never experienced physical discipline at home by you?

originally posted by: Briles1207

originally posted by: OptimusCrime
a reply to: OptimusCrime

Here's the last thing I have to say about this and I'm out.

If you have a problem child, you better find an outlet for him or her asap. Whether it's painting, sports or whatever.

Also the term "problem child" would account for all children. Part of their development and growth is testing the boundaries, its a natural thing. They aren't "problem" children, they're normal children doing things children do to grow. Your role as an "adult" is to set boundaries and instill discipline whilst at the same time allowing freedom of expression. Its a fine line but one that becomes blurred if you try to physically educate them.

Anyway its a moot point as everyone is different.

I consider a problem child to be one who knows the boundaries and pushes them to the point of a reaction. You're mistaking my term, which I do understand in your argument. Nice try, though.