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My question to you is, do you feel that the "self" that you are when you are alone, the "self" that you are when you talk to yourself, is different to the "self" that others perceive when you are out in society?
Do you often wish that this inner self, you, could break through completely and become the you that others see you as, regardless of social acceptance?
originally posted by: SystemResistor
a reply to: Mianeye
The problem is society, the inner "me" has spent too much time roasting in its own juices, and is simply not geared to engage with others in a social setting.
originally posted by: SystemResistor
"Be yourself because you might find yourself by yourself, and that's no fun."
This revelation is new, and is the result of much contemplation about the way that I behave and the way that I communicate.
I would like to start by saying, that I talk to myself, "he" is the "personality" that is conveyed through ATS. However, if you were to talk to "me" in person, it is likely that you would not recognise it as being "Resistor" - he is a totally different person. I would not say that I have a multiple personality disorder, because, they do not switch on and off unexpectedly, rather, it is a deep issue that I have in communicating to others.
This post would fall under "psychology" in the philosophical sense.
The "me" that engages with others is sweet, polite, and generally, from what "I", Resistor has managed to discover, is even considered "special".
The first title here, is called "Reinforcement".
I find that "Resistor" is not reinforced in society, he is the "me" that exists in isolation to others, and when he does manage to "talk", every so often, he is often ignored. However, the other "me" - what I can call an "inner child" is treated like a pet - he is humoured, he is approachable, and many talk to "him" - it is clear that "he" is being engaged with, however, when he is spoken to, "my" state of mind changes - I become timid and my thoughts change, and I become transparent in the way that I convey myself, a naïve innocence. In the background is "me" and I can't stand it. The constant reinforcement of "him" and the isolation of "me", Resistor, has turned me into a recluse, a personality that only expresses itself when speaking to itself. "Resistor" I fear would be in trouble if he were to be the prime communicator because, "he" - the external communicator, is the one whom they engage with, and whom they even consider as a friend.
Choices and motivations:
There is another "key" here, because he has a different choice set to myself, his choice of words are used in conversation, and when "I" think of something to say I often don't, because, all "I" get is silence, and "he" is treated favourably. I really wonder if "he" were to be "deleted" - "I" could have had a totally different life, with choices that "I" made.
For example, "he" really likes computer games, and when I buy these for "him", playing them fuels his personality, so, I usually submit to "his" choices, and this, increases the energy given to him as an identity.
Dealing with "him":
I often feel agitated by others whom humour "him" - you can imagine, him being seen as a polite young man, a bit "special" and timid in disposition, and "me" behind the curtain, having to put up with the fact that "I" am perceived in a belittling way. When "I" do try to break through, "I" am ignored generally, and have to stay behind the curtain and deal with an external "self" that is the very last thing that I would want to appear as.
A question:
My question to you is, do you feel that the "self" that you are when you are alone, the "self" that you are when you talk to yourself, is different to the "self" that others perceive when you are out in society?
Do you often wish that this inner self, you, could break through completely and become the you that others see you as, regardless of social acceptance?