I have been surfing through ATS for about a solid month now but only felt compelled to join today because of a certain story that has happened today.
I am in need of advice from many of my fellow ATS members. I would greatly appreciate it. I will first give you some background than on with the
I am currently in my early twenties, male, and in the "Mind Molding Program", I mean college. Ever since middle school I have always internally
questioned the ideas brought forth by my teachers, parents, etc. not until high school was it that I started actually seeking my own answers for the
questions I had. Since freshman year of high school I can remember spending long hours up all night scouring over YouTube videos and poorly written
made websites about all of these hypotheses on politics, federal reserve, 9/11, the list goes on, right?
We all have been there on those nights when you feel sleep depreciation pulling at your eyes, but you keep on plowing through that information like
you just found the gold mine. Well I have been on and off like this for the past 7-8 years; however, I have never not once mentioned my ideas or
thoughts of my own to my parents, friends, or any other close person...until recently...
I have spent countless hours watching Jordan Maxwell, Zeitgeist, Project Camelot, Terence McKenna, and many many others. I have always wanted the
truth from people, and I have always wanted to be honest with people, which is the reason for my problem today.
Last year I met a girl who I have fallen in love with, and we have spent much time together. Now she is well aware of my late hours of watching
"conspiracy $h!+" (her words) and seems to have a growing concern with my interest of what I like to call "truth seeking".
Today her and I had a family dinner with my mother, which was wonderful until my mother decided to bring up church and mass media and popular music,
which hey I am all for the brain-washing, but I don't even believe in drinking alcohol because I don't want to mess up my head so why would I want to
do any of those things. Never the less she had her little chat with me about all the stuff, and basically asked what I thought and I said I don't
listen to popular media because I don't like being indoctrinated. She laughed and said "Oh you with your conspiracy stuff! You are too silly
sometimes." She had assumed I was joking, but then my girlfriend piped up and said "No, he really believes that, and he constantly is watching this
stuff online and reading about it."
Then my mother and girlfriend both had a very serious face on and made eye contact with each other and just had that look of understanding between
each other. My mother than decided she would try and figure out all that I believed and how "crazy" I was to her, so she asked me some questions and
her and my girlfriend seemed to be very concerned with the answers. After the questioning both my girlfriend and mother said "we are very concerned
with and very worried about you. We think you may need to talk with someone." I dismissed them and proceeded to suggest that I was very sure my mental
state was far better than theirs and I didn't need help from a psychiatrist to F$&@ things up, which only seemed to make things worse.
Anyways my girlfriend and I left, and on the way home my girlfriend said "How do those people make money? How are you going to take care of us in the
future? I am so afraid for myself and you. How do you know those people aren't just working with those big bad people anyways?" I didn't have much to
say aside from just nodding and slowly withdrawing into myself because that's what I had done all those years in high school when I was the weird
nerd, so that's the only response I knew. I am very introverted and doing this now I think of just deleting it even though this is the least
extroverted thing I can do.
I don't care about being a normal citizen (robot, cog, puppet) in any society because I am a human being and I need someone to talk with that
understands me and not judges me because I ask questions about everything because I can't believe everything someone tells me. I have to seek for
I told her that "you're right I don't know who these people are but if at least 50% of what they say is true than I want to know it because even if
they are working with those big bad guys to screw everyone else than at least they are being honest to an extent so I can get a better grasp on the
these big bad people and I can know the truth about my world I live in. I don't like being a blind sheep following everything that CNN tells you. I
honestly hate you watching that trash, but do I complain about it? Not once! I let you watch it because you like "being informed"", which was the end
This is the end of my story, and I would greatly appreciate the advice and wisdom from other fellow members on the subject of how to act or walk/talk
like the rest of the crowd. I would also like to get some information on the member that is advising me. Just Age, and maybe like career or job.
Nothing too descriptive but enough to know that of look this guy is on ATS but he is a doctor, CEO, Pizza Hut delivery boy, or whatever because I want
to get a feel of where my path of truth seeking is going to be accepted or denied or whatever. Anyways I really appreciate you reading this post and I
am very thankful that I have someone who is listening because I need some advise and wisdom and guidance.
edit on 14-9-2014 by Nosollar
because: Fixing Spaces