how do you deal with depression?

originally posted by: Meldionne1
a reply to: Biigs

Looks like things are already turning around...!

i hope so, money means options so should be a good start and hopefully while im doing this my hand will get better and i will be able to do what im good at again which is fixing computers

You asked what The Master Plan is:

Know one knows but it might be...

To have a 'Direct Experience' of a reality that exists in a contradictory state. (for some this is defined as 'hell' )


We are born with an instinctual impulse to reject loss, the contradiction we must live with that life as we know it can only occur through the continual occurrence of loss.

Thus Question yourselves. You have one brain with two individual minds residing within it. They are often in a state of continual conflict with each other. Why? One evolved to reject loss at any cost, they other evolved to accept loss when it could not be rejected.

So Question, Who am I once everything is taken from me?

Question, Who can you become once there is nothing to no longer hold you back but your own thoughts.

Think. If it can be taken from me, was it really mine and do I really need it.

What am I capable of when confronted with a limitation(loss). Do I adapt or do I collapse?

To achieve balance often the answer is found in doing the opposite of what you think you should be doing, as doing what you think you should have done, has obviously put you out of balance.

Find a mantra...Not to distract, but to inspire...

-If it's meant to be it's up to me.
-This too shall pass.
-I began with nothing, I can begin again.
-Freedom can come from both having everything and also having nothing.
-I can adapt.

I can continue to re-emotionalize the past and allow it to cripple and depress me or I can resolve it's hold over me by accepting it's lesson through reasonably accepting the loss it caused me, which at the time I was unable to reject.

Accepting this lesson reduces my need to re-experiencing it again and again and again, which is a 'gain' I really do not need.

Helping other's refocuses your internalizing thoughts(depression) and externalizes them which is what is needed for them to be resolved.

a reply to: Biigs

This is wonderful Biigs.

A new type of job, new surroundings, new people, time to let your hand heal.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that depression is a weakness or selfish. And if someone has never been through depression themselves (and I'm not referring to just feeling "down") then they will never have any true comprehension of what it is like.

When you are in that deep hole and know you can't climb back out just keep telling yourself that it is temporary, that you will eventually come out of it. You don't know when but you will. Hang on to that. Keep in mind those that love you. Tell yourself over and over that you are deserving of a good life and good things and happiness. Sometimes all one has is the tiny little branch to hang onto and just being aware that yes you are suffering and can feel like you have no control - just remember that there are people who love you, people who don't even know you that really do care and love you, and that you will get better.

Talking to a professional is an excellent way to just let feelings out and to verbalize and bring it out of your own mind. A professional will listen, not judge and give you coping tools. I have seen counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists. Personally for me it wasn't until I saw the psychiatrist who gave me cognitive therapy. Ie: I was always griping about having a bad day. He taught me I was maybe having a bad moment in a whole day. It's a way of self talk that is really quite amazing. I thought it was hokey and complete nonsense until I realized it's about self talk, a lot of it. So this does help.

I can't say it's the complete answer as I do believe depression is a chemical brain imbalance. Some people benefit from medication but one has to be really careful and self aware and do your research and then more research. I can honestly say that medication has been my saving point. However I have to keep switching as I build up a tolerance and this is extremely hard as you have to wean off, go through the withdrawals and then try something new and then build up. And unfortunately I don't always see the signs that I am sinking until loved ones bring it up. Medication is a personal choice and I am not pushing it but I know there are people still here with us because they decided to try it. It is a personal choice but I do believe you have to know exactly what you're taking and be responsible. And keep close tabs with your doctor if you go this route.

Diet is key as is exercise. I find walking tremendously helpful - it helps get the cobwebs out, I commune with Jesus as I walk and I work things out. I don't obsess which is so easy to do when one simply sits about. Smelling fresh air, watching nature, getting amongst wild grass or trees or being near water - it is so amazing for one's spirit. Try to stay away from a sugar diet and processed carbs and processed foods. Stay away from anything that has corn syrup in it. I find oolong tea to be refreshing as well as very comforting. It has a very rich flavour.

I am a Christian and by having a personal relationship with Jesus - I do believe He is my best friend and I talk and talk and talk. I read the Bible and always feel comforted after. In most Bibles there is, at the front/back, a list of emotions that point to various verses to help one cope with those feelings. This may be helpful.

I have tried St. John's Wort, Valerian and various other natural herbs. Holy Basil is amazing - it also helps with anxiety. Usually anxiety goes hand in hand with depression. It just calms you down and makes you feel at peace. Works almost instantly. Somewhat pricey though.

Surround yourself with positive and loving people. Nothing brings me down faster than someone who hates life or who is spiteful or jealous of others. Read and watch happy type movies.

Always remember your fellow man as we can always uplift others and help them. I believe this is what we're here for, to love one another and not as a job or a rule but because there are others out there who are suffering inside as much as the next person. This will also help you get outside of your own head.

Ditch the ex-girfriend. She doesn't know what love is and you deserve better. Be glad (I know it hurts and you still have feelings for her) she showed her true colors. There is someone so amazing out there - someone who will want to share her life with you because she wants you in it and thinks you are so incredible that she can't think of anyone else but you.

Hang in there. Hope some of this helps. I'm here for you if you ever need to talk.

a reply to: ccseagull
P.S. a 400 year old cottage? Wow, imagine the history in that place. No internet will be tough but the job isn't forever so bring lots to distract yourself: books/movies/Bible (?) - a easy to ready everyday English is a good place to start (sorry - not pushing the Bible, just a suggestion) and maybe a companion kitten!

Oops - well it's time for my bed obviously. Was supposed to be an edit on my first response.

a reply to: ccseagull

talking and walking has been recommended to me several times.

im not strictly religious so i cant agree on jesus saving me, jesus doesn't pay my rent or fix my motorbike which is totally screwed. and the bike thing is an issue since even if i got a sweet job i couldnt actually get to it, just another problem on the list.

i love mountain biking and i have a sweet ride, its got a puncture right now but my dad gave be a new tube for it so im going to fix that and get riding again. seems like a good plan for exercise and time to think things out.

i have a pretty serious drinking problem too so its a combo of coping without hurting myself. my mother is very worried for me and i dont wish to cause her any concern so i am trying to sort all this stuff out.

i dont think therapy is going to help but im going to try it anyway

a reply to: Biigs

A good friend and mentor of mine (and fellow sufferer) said that "depression is anger without enthusiasm". After some consideration, I believe he was right.

My depression was agravated by circumstances (death of loved ones, out of work as well as migraines, diabetes and the unavoidable brain chemistry).

So one day, I got angry at the condition which was screwing up my life. By making it a 'real object' and directing anger against the condition, I could get over the feeling and not 'stay there' emotionally. This gave a reason for the anger and suggested motivation to do excercise and activities that allowed the emotions to 'burn off' (eg: physically aggressive & extreme sports).

When conditions changed, I had gotten the condition under control, had weaned myself off anti-depressants (which are just plain bad news) and had established responses to the condition, to minimize its power over me.

I am aware of the dangers of untreated depression as a close friend also committed suicide in the depths of a particularly bad bout.

It is also good to be able to have someone to talk things out with, doesn't need to be a therapist, just someone whom you regard as wise and who won't get spooked if you reveal some of the darker stuff that goes through your mind.

And don't be afraid to tell the truth, to your self and your friend. The most painful and scariest stuff creates a close and strong bond of friendship.

Also if you wear a smile, soon others reciprocate and the faked facade soon gets worn away by the real thing.

a reply to: chr0naut

ive been faking happiness for a while now. Im good at lying, deceiving and general mind games, this time i cant cover it up or hide it.

on Thursday when i see this specialist shrink i will tell you all how it goes

a reply to: Biigs

The drinking is THE worst thing you can do for depression bar none , i know

If you need the taste of beer and cannot live without it get the Alcohol free stuff as when i drink it takes me day's to get back out of the hole i feel in .

good luck and happy thoughts

a reply to: Biigs

Hi Im sorry to hear your going through a bad time, I as im sure others can relate to what you are saying. My partner is going through hell for the past few years and the worst thing about it is that the condition changes and evolves with time that it she is yet to receive a diagnosis. Im sure you will probably be told the same varying from depression, anxiety, psychosis etc.
What advice I can give you is stay away from alcohol and drugs. Find a simple interest such as reading or music that you can go to in those times when your mind is racing and at your lowest. Its at these times when your at your lowest and cant get those thoughts out of your mind you need to focus your mind on to anything that is not those thoughts. And it is a lot harder than one thinks.
Also I can say to take every day as it comes as cliché as it sounds. If that's too much just get through each hour. Looking too far forward tends to make you not see any good in your future.
You will more than likely get prescribed meds and I don't care what people say but I would take them. If possible do research as to which are better options but in some situations meds are the only option.

If you have anyone close to you keep talking to them when you want to, don't feel you are a burden at any time and realise that many people care about you, look at the replies you have got from people who care enough to take time to try to understand your situation and to help if possible. If you need to talk at any time about anything e it the most important issue in the world or stupid things like why one ball hangs lower than the other to pass time just contact me.

Btw hopefully I haven't come across like an oddball spread the love person. Im just an ordinary fella who knows what its like to have your life turned upside down by this stuff and realises lifes too short to not say how it is.

Good luck with your appointment

originally posted by: Biigs
well my issues are: been out of work for 6 months, spent all my money then broke my hand which i need for my job with severe nerve damage.

My friends have all but left me, my girlfriend slept with her boss and ive been asked to move out in a month which is hard to do when you are alone and have no money.

So its looking pretty bad.

Did you break your hand in subway? ?....

a reply to: Biigs

whats the master plan?

as to how to deal with depression or the master plan, what the big picture shows and why it shows it and when can it be seen and when seen what then?

Master plan for depression from my experience is learn about yourself, study what psychology has to offer and implement that knowledge into finding a way out of your predicament, you could see a counselor/therapist at the same time to correspond with as they can advise treatments or agree on your ideas.

Its not a quick fix and could take years of study and introspection but once you reach a place you are happy with about knowing yourself, what triggers you, what manipulates you then you can simply experience the depression as a way of life and stay on that path of negativity which will effect the world around you or change your perception, see things in a new light and transform the darkness into a light that in turn effects the world around in a positive fashion.

my lifes in ruins and im so sad its hard to describe or admit, is there some secret formula for happiness? please tell me.

I wish I could, but the formula for me has similar ingredients that might make you happy for a while but you need to find the ingredients that make that happiness last as it seems there is no one solution that fits all but there are ingredients to the formula that can be found in all formulas that create happiness.

One ingredient that can be found all formulas is Love, one must find a love of something if one wants to find happiness.

I wish I could have told you what you wanted to hear to rebuild the ruins you seem to perceive yourself in.

originally posted by: Lysergic
a reply to: Biigs

Taming strange?

LOL

Two ways you can go Biigsy boy.... You can deal with it inwardly and tackle it head on, thinking about everything, letting it all flood in and just wade through it, picking thoughts and just trying to deal with them.

Or you can use the distraction technique.... keep busy, watch movies, listen to music and generally go for walks, socialise and just distract your mind.

Neither one will cure your depression but both can be very useful.
It usually comes in bouts and hopefully wont last too long.

Pills might help but personally I wouldn't bother.

Good luck mate.

Its really simple, reflection, forgiveness and time, all in different orders.

It aint easy, get out and mingle, dont talk about your depression, it scares normal people off.

Ride it out, its a storm, hold fast.

Time is one day then another, it passes.

a reply to: Biigs

I don't know if it had been said or not, but the master plan is and always will be:

Thoughts.

Thoughts are the root cause of everything mentally, what you think you become. Depression is just one way of thinking, or should I say a way of looking at the world (and yourself).

Life is such, that your experiences in life both internally and externally, are depended upon the quality of your thoughts. A single thought can give roots to a whole forest, and whoever acknowledges it have gain mastery over the mind, and cease being its slave.

Observing thoughts, not reacting to thoughts, not judging or feeding thoughts - is the way out. Just as reacting, analyzing, judging, condemning (etc) was the way in. A depressed mind is giving no slack, and is very harsh. By not over-thinking you will not become a zombie, the opposite is true. You will become natural again, full of life. Remaining natural and not going against the mind (but accepting the reality of the mind the way it currently is at this present moment) is liberation, it is happiness, it is wisdom.

There are tons of information on it online, if you really seek it - you shall find it. Most importantly is to have a sincere will to rise up from this madness.

I wish you luck, may you come out of your sufferings.

Get a molybdenum supplement, this will help to reduce the copper in the body which will lower depression. Going to far will cause other problems though. Use moderation. a couple weeks at less than two hundred percent of the RDA should give you some change if that is the problem.

They keep using copper sulfate as a antifungal on our foods. This form of copper is not organic based and utilized right by the body. The other way is to boost tyramines, this is what some antidepressants do, they pick a certain neurochemical to increase or block a different one.

So either get the copper levels down or drink beer. I suppose some good Italian sausages on Pizza will also help. A bottle of pickled herring works wonders.

a reply to: Biigs

Find something sensual that comforts you; however small it may be. Get a warm towel out of the drier and rest your face it in, go sit in the breeze, eat a strawberry, go swimming. If you are a social person, surround yourself with as many warm and welcoming people as you can, bed and breakfasts are wonderful for this, especially in vacation areas during the off season. Stay away from alcohol. It might make you feel better in the moment, but it wrecks you the following day, amplifying your depression even more.

When you feel calm and clear headed and you've enjoyed your rest for awhile, sit down and think about the problems that are causing you to feel upset. Break your life down into its parts: home, family, career, finances, sexuality, health, morality, spirituality, entertainment, exercise, etc. Look at each area and think about what you could improve there. Put together a binder. Make daily/weekly/monthly goals. Figure out what you can control/influence and improve on those things. Figure out what you cannot influence/control and find ways to accept the exact state of reality. If something causes you great pain, figure out how to synthesize the pain with your own creativity and pleasure, transforming it into something less horrible.

If you have a weakness, figure out how to exploit yourself. Use your weakness as a special treat. Think about yourself in terms of a master chess player trying to get a pawn to the other side of the board to transform it into a more useful piece. How would you motivate yourself if you were truly devious?

Think about desire for worldly things: power, wealth, knowledge, sex, food, housing, comfort, entertainment, distraction, status. Use your most natural inclinations to improve upon yourself through self-discipline. Only give into your ego when it performs in your best interest. When it fights against you, when it destroys your life, starve it out and show it who is its true master.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Easier said than done, I know, but that's what it boils down to.

On a slightly different note, why is another member using my avatar?

a reply to: Biigs

Hey Biigs - I was just cruising the 'net and was reading this story and it sounds like what you were going to do. This couldn't possibly be you could it? Just hope you are alright and hanging in there.

www.dailymail.co.uk...

a reply to: ccseagull

Nope i east and north of that location (both because i have two houses).

general update: i broke my big toe and im awaiting an xray and also i chipped a tooth and it sliced the side of my tongue up badly, i almost needed an emergency dentist to find and smooth the offending tooth - which is hard to do at 12am.

Yeah when it rains, it pours.

I think with a long run like this, things simply have to get better. I wish this was made up, i dont have an imagination that good unfortunately, i fear the dentist bill and the toe will be (well i dont know what they do for the big one you cant just strap it up) but that will be on the NHS so free. At least some things are, i certinly paid my taxes for 15+ years, i deserve a freebe.

The psychologist went well, just an hour of filling (the absolutely charming lady) with the important stuff up to this point, so not whining about my toe yet. Parents were nice enough to give me a car ride.

EDIT: OH!! and i havnt had a single pint or glass of wine since Saturday night, so doing well on that front it was much harder last time, i lasted about a day.

B