Hernando's Hideaway. Another Thread "almost certainly not for you."

I wonder if the problem that a lot of the non-Hernandos have in communicating can be determined? I'm sure it varies from person to person, but are they looking for praise, superiority, a feeling of triumph by bullying? And if we figure it out, is there anything to be done about it.

Or, maybe, we just create our home base here.

Hey, bartender! Diet Pepsi, please, and what's your opinion about love? Think that "Love your neighbor" business makes any sense? You keep pouring, and I'll keep listening.

I was invited here, thank you Charles, for the invite.

Shot of Jaeger if you please.

So I figured I would say hello.

Hello.
Just another "Rider on the Storm" here.
It's widely rumored and agreed upon elsewhere I'm just a big mentally handicapped dummy.
And maybe I am, I naturally don't think so.

I can't say I will reveal much of myself as I am typically adverse to revealling too much about myself.
Details do tend to slip however.
Let me just say my chosen handle is quite telling.
If you care to try to read.
You might get the langauge right.
And slip on the dialect but eh.
Or any variation there-in.


To comment on the first conversation I saw on intersex communication.
I don't know if this has already been said, mind, I haven't the time to read the whole thread.
But.
I think the whole problem is that men's mental processor mostly works in absolutes.
As is befitting what in our early history was our role.
The hunter and etc.
Whereas women's mental processor mostly works in variables.
Otherwords emotions.
Which is befitting their usual role in early human groups.
Group dynamics and needs.

Put simply at least.

a reply to: charles1952

Thank You and I like to Think, Daddy, ( I called L J that ) was Happy, he smiled a lot and Loved Pizza night.
Mr.g. would always have Pizza night and take Daddy over pizza.

Yes, I know he was Happy, He told me he was.

a reply to: HarbingerOfShadows
Hello, and I have to say, I disagree with you,,, Who says that the Male was always the Hunter and that the Woman was Always,,,, how did you phrase it,,,,the group dynamics and needs,,, what ever that means?

What we women sat in the hut or cave or under the tree waiting for the big Hunter to drag Home The Meat!
I Don't Think So!
Those early descriptions of early humans were wrote by Men, Professors and Such that only seen women as a Home Body or Baby Maker!
B S!!!!
Who's to say this is how it really was, MEN?
Maybe the woman was out there Hunting for the Clan, I can Guarantee you in our house hold I can shot just as good as my husband and our daughter has better eyes than we do and I won't wont to be in he line of sight at 500 meters if she was pissed at you or show you as our next Meal!

Sorry,,, got a letter upset, But I don't know any ladies in My Sewing Circle That Can't Take You Out At 300 Meters.
I do know a few American and Chinese women that'll tell you not to run, Why Die Tired?

a reply to: guohua

Well, there are always exceptions.
And what I said was certainly not meant to be in any way derisive of women or their abilities.
Or to downplay their importance.

In a hunt, and I'm not talking about guns and etc as they are a fairly recent invention, there is no room for ambiguity or second guessing or really emotion in general.
Emotions tends to only to be a distraction in such situations and a potentially deadly one at that.
Whether it be the starvation of a streak of unsuccessful hunts, or at the hands of another predator or even the prey it's self.
In group dynamics, not so much, emotions *variables in my description* are very important.

Then there is the general inability to do something as physical as the hunt pregnancy becomes.

And that greatly drove our early evolution as well as our tendencies.

Again, all just in my opinion.

a reply to: HarbingerOfShadows

Hey, Harbinger! Glad you could stop by! Put your wallet away, I'll buy the first round (maybe the second, too). Hope you like it here, these are some of the most amazing people on ATS. And there's no need to worry, we take care of each other. Nobody attacks, we don't have to defend, we're just ourselves.

If you've read through the thread, you've seen how amazing these people are.

As you say, we're on inter-sex communication, but that can change as the mood strikes us. You might be right about the absolutes and hunter theory, I don't know. But is that fixed for ever? And are we slaves to that? Can we act differently even if we're wired that way?

I kind of think so, I'm a big free will guy. You can bet that I wouldn't get on guohua's bad side, she's amazing. So, can we talk together with women? Even if it's hard? My guess is yes, but there have been some women, present company excepted of course, that I just can't reach.

Maybe I'd better switch from diet Pepsi to, oh, I don't know, Black Russian?

Say does anybody know the bartender's name? I'm embarrassed to ask.

a reply to: HarbingerOfShadows

Don't worry about proof, Harbinger. On this, all anybody has is opinions. By looking at them and thinking about them, we'll find some truths.

On this emotion question, I don't know anyone more absolute and fierce than a mother protecting her kids. "Death to the Threat" is the only thought. There's a lot of emotion, but that makes them pretty formidable.

But, I've got to give you credit, big guy, Men and women seem to have different tendencies towards traditional roles. I don't think we're getting rid of that. I don't think I want to. Maybe that's why I have a little trouble with Drag Queens, the role conflict in my head.

a reply to: charles1952

Much obliged sir.

But is that fixed for ever? And are we slaves to that? Can we act differently even if we're wired that way?

I would argue strongly against anything being fixed forever really.
I am also a big free will guy.

We could always go against whatever is ingrained into us.
But, not many do.
Thus how they were ingrained in our species to begin with.
And to use a song quote I posted in another thread.
"You know where it is? Yea, well usually it depends on where you start."

Methinks I mispell.....
It's late here though.
So I shall forgive myself!

So, can we talk together with women? Even if it's hard? My guess is yes, but there have been some women, present company excepted of course, that I just can't reach.

I think it's largely because even though people may speak the same langauge.
They don't truly "speak" the same langauge.
If you catch my meaning.
It's impossible to communicate without at least trying to understand what they're trying to say.
Some cannot, some won't try, and both can be true.
Which is something I trip over often.
Being the unusual person I am with a general deficiency in adequitly expressing himself.

Well, there are always exceptions.
And what I said was certainly not meant to be in any way derisive of women or their abilities.
Or to downplay their importance.
a reply to: HarbingerOfShadows
I'm glad to hear you say that,,, I think.
There's never room for weaklings.
Either you can or you can't take a life and that goes for a Man or a Woman.

Women know how to set traps or throw a spear.
OH, I'm Sorry, I'm Pregnant,,, I can't lift that rock mister cave man I don't think so!

a reply to: guohua

I would never call a woman weak.
Well, unless I thought she was, but that is independent of her gender.

So, I guess I should say, I would never call a woman weak because she was a woman.

But even so, just because someone is "weak" in one category generally means they are "strong" in another.

Like the misattributed to Einstein quote on the subject of genius.
"Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid."

Well, to look at it logically, a woman is putting herself and possibly the unborn child in danger to lift those heavy rocks.
More so in something like the hunt.
It's just not a good idea.
The risk involved, and not mention the loss should the worst happen makes it so.

Maybe I'd better switch from diet Pepsi to, oh, I don't know, Black Russian?

Say does anybody know the bartender's name? I'm embarrassed to ask.

a reply to: charles1952

Yes, Charles her name is G. and she'll gladly get you a Black Russian, @ HarbingerOfShadows , What are you having?

I'll refill my Rum & Coke, Room Temperature only No Ice and lay my Cloak down and lets talk.
Mr. G. says Hi and he's having a Gin & Tonic tonight with one Ice Cube.
By the way, where is Expat, I know it's Happy Hour there, maybe he's out with his grandson again.

OK, Charles, you mentioned, Drag Queens, You know, I had heard of them and of-course due to my line of work, I had to study understand as best as I was able to with what China's intelligence knew.
But in China in the 80's as a Chinese Citizen, You were Not on the Street in Drag or as a Homosexual or Lesbian.
Yes, They were in the Closet as you say, it was Much Safer There.

a reply to: HarbingerOfShadows

Think nothing of it. It's a pleasure, and you're a guest. If you like the place you can become an Hernando, like the rest of us.

I think it's largely because even though people may speak the same langauge.
They don't truly "speak" the same langauge.
If you catch my meaning.

You've got that right. We were talking about what a man should do if he asks his wife for permission to go golfing and she says "Oh, fine." If he doesn't translate that into guy language he is at least getting the black face and a night on the couch.

It's impossible to communicate without at least trying to understand what they're trying to say.

Not bad, Harbinger. What do you like to be called, by the way? That's one of the truths we're looking towards, and I think an important step towards a real Truth. We can't communicate, with anyone really, unless we try. We've got to be able to say, "I care enough about this person to make the effort to discover what they're thinking, what they need, how we can form some kind of relationship, if only temporarily."

Being the unusual person I am with a general deficiency in adequitly expressing himself.

I think you're doing great, don't worry about it. No trolls or monsters here (yet). That's why I want to be picky with my invitations. Of course, anybody can invite anybody, but there's a certain atmosphere here, and some just won't fit in.

Can I get you a sandwich?

a reply to: HarbingerOfShadows
OK, I will concede that you have a point.

Also did you know that Harbin is the Name of the City I was Born in and that they make a Great Beer, known as Harbin Beer?
I feel though, women have been softened over these many years by men thinking they have to wait on us Hand and Foot.
That is one of the problems I see in America and many western countries, The Female is put on this Pedestal and Protected and Pampered.

Now, if my Husband wanted to Golfing, Thank Your GOD, he Doesn't Golf, but if he asked, and I had other plans That I thought were More Important, I'd say,,,, Yes, dear, You Go a Golf,,, you go right Ahead,,,,, The whole time I'm not smiling or asking if he wants me to pack a lunch or looking in his eyes and wishing him luck,,,,,He should Know Right then and There That, If He Goes Golfing,,,,, he's On the Couch and Eating TV Dinners and Showering ALONE!

Husband have to understand body language and Listen!!!!!

a reply to: guohua

Dear guohua, you're a queen among women. Hey, Mr. G! You're a really lucky guy.

By the way, where is Expat, I know it's Happy Hour there, maybe he's out with his grandson again.

That's my hope. I wonder if, sometimes, Hernando's can be a very different kind of place. Some people aren't comfortable with change, and there are some who don't like revealing a crack of themselves. But I'm sure you're right, it's his grandson.

Still, if you have the time and energy to heal his che as you did mine, I think he'd be worthy of it.

This drag queen business is kind of strange. it doesn't go over in the Middle-East either. I wonder if the authorities see it as a foreign disease that might divert the citizens from their proper path? In the US, I think there was a certain amount of distaste generally, but as I said to HarbingerOfShadows, that might just be an instinctive reaction.

What I don't quite get is how that translates to violence. There's a Drag Queen on ATS, I've had good discussions with him, but I feel a little sorry for him, too. He's trying to get his happiness, but it just doesn't "feel" right for some reason.

Blast! I don't know what I'm talking about. Hey G, you gorgeous creature! Can I have a little something to eat? I think the drink's going to my head.

a reply to: guohua

What do you think? Did Christianity have a part to play with all the pampering and pedestaling? (My spell checker didn't like that one.)

You've got the Virgin Mary starting things off, and all those Knights in Shining Armor who were always pledging allegiance to some fair maiden and fighting to the death anyone who insulted her.

Maybe it's HarbingerOfShadows idea that during pregnancy they had to be taken care of, at least a little.

For me, and all this drinking is making me slobbery and sentimental, you can't beat a good woman for beauty, grace, love, and caring support. They get at least a little pedestal in my eyes.

'Course they'd better know how to check the oil, fix a flat, and do minor household maintenance, but any human should be able to do that.

a reply to: charles1952
Yes, you my, what are you hungry for tonight we have some Brown Rice, Steamed with Shrimp and Black Shell Mussel.
On the side is a Cream of Broccoli with Corn Bread that has Chinese Hornets Honey Glazed on top.

I'll refill your drink.

a reply to: charles1952
Charles, I don't believe it had anything to do with Religion, I think it was all Males being full of themselves.

Think about it, in every race on Earth what was the most Prized New Born, was it a Female or Male?
the young male could help with the tiling of the land and building new shelter and so on.
So I think girl babies may not have been as well taken care of and more died and so, Then you have More Males Looking for Wives!!!

So, a healthy male gets a wife and needs to keeps her happy or she'll just run off with another healthy male.
Boom,,,, Spoiled Wife,,,,,Happy Life!!!
I'm thinking over male population and the need to have a Mate!

I know the ATS member you were talking about, a very nice person and I haven't seen him post in awhile.
NOW, That is all because of Fear and Religion, I believe people are just born that way, I can't begin to imagine how it must hurt to hide to live your life, I mean, every day you live a lie.
My husband said he knew some really Great gay guys in Nam. Respected their skills as tunnel rats and would be in a fire fight any time with them and never worry about his back.
But they were gay and had to hide their feelings for each other. He said at least they made it out alive.

a reply to: guohua

Dear guohua, that sounds wonderful! And, of course, I've never had Chinese Hornets honey. I didn't even know that hornets made honey, that's how uncultured I am.

As far as wives, I think you're agreeing with me. I thought I heard you say that there were fewer women, and as adults they were more desirable. So, of course, men pampered them and put them on pedestals.

I wonder if Christianity elevated women to a new level of respect. Our Lady of Guadalupe is probably more popular in Mexico and the rest of the hemisphere than Jesus is. And, as I said, Mary's pretty hot stuff in the Catholic Church. I don't know, but I thought women were pretty much property for a long time (and still are in some places).

Heck, I just don't know enough.

But you do have a truth on the Happy Wife, Happy Life.

a reply to: DISRAELI

My Friend or should I say resent acquaintance, DISRAELI.
We need your input on something that my have a Religious back ground to them and I think your Religious, Am I right?

You understand religious aspect of things I think, I have no religion, never had any, was not raised with religion, Sorry.

a reply to: charles1952

Agreed.

What do you like to be called, by the way?

Whatever form of address suits you.

I think you're doing great, don't worry about it.

You'll see what I mean eventually.


It's just frusterating is all.
Sometimes I have problems translating my thoughts to words.

Can I get you a sandwich?

No thank you.

a reply to: guohua

Shot of Jaeger please.

a reply to: charles1952
Just to chime in.

What do you think? Did Christianity have a part to play with all the pampering and pedestaling?

If you'll remember.
The classical Christian view on women was not so good.
Sex being evil and all that.

a reply to: guohua

I hope it's ok I keep chiming in.
It also makes a little bit of sense if you look at it from the aspect of mouths to feed.
Ugh.
Can't put this better right now.....
But I am trying to get at something.........

But I will say it's not a viewpoint I necessarily agree with.