Hernando's Hideaway. Another Thread "almost certainly not for you."

originally posted by: Expat888
Just dropped in for a drink and cigar .. though nearly fled in sheer terror over the discussion on intersex communications .. still trying to find a translation app to translate woman speak .. no luck locating a reliable translator ..

You don't need a translator.... You need a woman who says what she means and means what she says. There are still some out there. I prefer that tact myself as I am too impatient to try and relay my messages in code only then to have to wait and see if he will get it this time since he didn't get it the last 500 times.

I prefer to cut to the chase and save that time for something else.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe\
My Friend, You Did GREAT, Medication and All, I understood Every Word I Read, My Husband on the Other Hand,,,,,,
Much like our Friend Expat888 is pouring himself another and just Nodding his head, he say's, after all these years, That's the Safest Answer an Man Can Give,,,,, Yes Dear, What Ever You Say Dear,,,,,,,

You don't need a translator.... You need a woman who says what she means and means what she says. There are still some out there. I prefer that tact myself as I am too impatient to try and relay my messages in code only then to have to wait and see if he will get it this time since he didn't get it the last 500 times.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe


Some time my husband does,,,,, I get excited and talk so fast and I mix Mandarin with English and he just throws his hands in the air and tosses me his keys and Wallet and leaves the room,,,,, I ask,,, What's The keys and Wallet For?
He say's, I don't Know? For what ever you where Blabbering about,,,,,you lost me!!

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe
You know, My husband tells me, he can't see the world like a woman does a lot, he say's he can't get that emotional.

originally posted by: guohua
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe\
My Friend, You Did GREAT, Medication and All, I understood Every Word I Read, My Husband on the Other Hand,,,,,,

Much like our Friend Expat888 is pouring himself another and just Nodding his head, he say's, after all these years, That's the Safest Answer an Man Can Give,,,,, Yes Dear, What Ever You Say Dear,,,,,,,

Thanks Guohua.

My husband would say the same even though he knows that I don't play the games so many women are accused of so often. I suppose he is still aware that while he may have no doubt about where I stand, it still doesn't mean he can't wind up in the doghouse if the situation calls for it lol.

I heard a saying once that said "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?". That makes a lot of sense whether you are a man or a woman.

Thinking like that says that both sides have their shortcomings.

Sometimes we just need to love someone through the ugly, because we certainly all have some.

I heard a saying once that said "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?". That makes a lot of sense whether you are a man or a woman.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Hello, Hello,,,,,, mr. g, here,,,,, yes a lot like the saying,,, A Happy Wife and Happy life!
So true, So true
You don't have to Sacrifice any of your own personnel freedoms, Really,,,, my wife is understanding, All I have to do, seeing as I'm your average Knuckle Draggier, is TRY and she understands it's not easy for me sometimes.
But, that's the thing about women, you mostly look at both side of the fence where a man might just look at things from his side of the fence and it needs a good coat of paint!!

originally posted by: guohua
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe
You know, My husband tells me, he can't see the world like women do, he say's he can't get that emotional.
Do you think that's true?

ETA - That this goes for Mr. Guohua as well. Hi Mr. G

I think it's true. BUT... I think it's true in the fact that some people are more emotional than others, not necessarily gender specific.

If you take me... I absolutely hate to cry. I hate to show any kind of emotional weakness in front of anybody. Even alone sometimes as well. I don't mind laughing, showing joy, showing anger, etc. But sadness and tears? Nope. I think my husband has seen me cry maybe 5 times in over 17 years.

My husband on the other hand? I've seen him cry many more times than that. I grew to accept that, but when we were first married I saw that as a weakness in him, it made me uncomfortable, and I could not understand why he was crying 99% of the time.

So I am like your husband in the fact that I can't see the world through a ton of emotion. I feel that showing the world those emotions gives them ammunition to use against you, to hurt you irrevocably in some way. I want to appear strong and let people know that I do not need their help, sympathy, pity, etc.

My husband is the opposite. He can't see the world the way I do. He went through a time where he wondered if I cared about anything because I was not emotional.

That's the balance I spoke of though. Between the both of us... We can view/exist in the world with strength tempered with compassion/emotion.

It takes those differences in all of us to make this world go around I think. So it's a blessing your husband doesn't see the world the way you do and vice versa IMO.

And again... I rambled.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Yes, we are opposite's in many way's, except when it comes to family, Family always comes first.

originally posted by: guohua
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Yes, we are opposite's in many way's, except when it comes to family, Family always comes first.

Exactly. Same here. That's why it's good there is a balance and the family unit centers it. I think it all works precisely as it was intended to.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

That's right and that is what separates us humans from the other animals, our young can always come back to the family for support if it a loving functional family unit.
I'll use my being raised in China as a reference.
Normally the male or female child will be in the parents home until married and that is normally not until age 22 or 24.
In America, I noticed that the Children actually want to break away on their own by 18 or 19 but my return when things don't work out.

That is a Balanced Family.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Ahh.. ok.. doubt find one like that .. besides too set in my ways now ..

a reply to: guohua
Evening mr. and mrs g .. have a round on me


just in for few then off to check out couple new karaoke lounges ..

I thought I'd stop by and have an omelette and coffee to help get started for the new day.

I'm getting the idea that the essential in communication is "trying." If one side can tell the other is seriously trying to understand, then a lot of mis-communication can be forgiven and worked through. But if somebody appears to have the attitude of "I don't care enough about you to try to understand you," things are going to get very difficult.

On ATS, where all we can see are letters, a troll or phony can go a long time without being spotted. In actual life, the tone of voice and body language send a clear message of our intentions. I suspect that guys aren't usually as interested in working to find the true meaning (if they are questionable partners, that is), but that sends the message that they aren't interested in working to strengthen the relationship.

Good thing the omelette's arrived, I'm rambling. That's what I like about Hernando's, no fear that somebody's going to jump on you for a slight mistake, the folks here are truly tolerant.

Oh, Miss? Could I have just a bit of Tabasco sauce, please?

hello everyone.

It is nearly 12 midnight here so I am having a glass of wine and a cigarette.

I hope there isn't any Politicians in here....

a reply to: Thurisaz

Dear Thurisaz,

Well, then, a very good evening to you. Welcome to Hernando's. If you read some of the posts you might be getting the flavor of this place. Here in the central part of the US it's 9:30 Saturday morning, and we don't have our usual rush hour crowd.

For sheer, decent people, this is a hard place to beat, so I'd suggest checking back in every now and then.

It looks like the discussion around the bar is well into the subject of Male-Female communications. You've got a lot of choices; you can sit back and watch, add a new subject, just walk away, contribute to this topic, anything you can think of.

Hernando's cares a lot about the heart of each person, not necessarily expertise in any field. And politicians? Sure, they're welcome, IF they leave their speeches and campaigning at the door. Some politicians must be looking for a place where they can be honest, surrounded by friends, without having to worry that their words will be quoted by the opposition.

Hernando's does have a reasonable wine cellar, hang around as long as you'd like.

With respect,
Charles1952 (Charles, here at Hernando's)

a reply to: charles1952

Your literary skills are so gracious, eloquent and intelligent.

I don't really have anything to write about. I am the one sitting in the corner at the bar, sipping my wine and relaxing.

a reply to: Thurisaz

Hope you're enjoying the wine.

That's one of the things I like about Hernando's. You can sit back, relax, let the pressures of some crazy threads just drain away, and know that you're in the right sort of place.

Forgive me for interrupting your peace and quiet, but you were saying in another thread that people weren't responding to your threads. That really bothers me, too. Do you think there might be a connection between the problem in those threads and the problems with Male-Female communication?

Is it possible that people aren't showing that they're trying to communicate? That it's frustrating because people don't care to offer the proper regard for other people?

a reply to: charles1952

no I don't think it is an issue of male/female dialogue.

It isn't even about my own thread. It was a small tantrum because I was not replied to. I have a little outburst over small things every 3 or 4 years.

I am usually in bed by now...but I am waiting up for my Son to get home.

a reply to: Thurisaz

Fair enough, thanks.

You can go three or four years without an outburst over little things? Wow! I am impressed! Maybe it's the wine. Well, stop back again any time. Go get some good rest when you can.

Still on the subject of feminine communication- how are we supposed to know when words mean the opposite of what they say?
I've already posted this on an earlier thread, but I've always believed that any material worth using once is worth using twice.---

I remember back in college receiving a note from my girlfriend (no texting in those days) breaking off the relationship. It included the sentence "I'm feeling much too upset to receive visitors".
OK, I thought, she doesn't want me to visit her, so I'd better not go.
Later that day, after she had given up waiting for me, and came to see me instead, I discovered that this line had been deliberately inserted as a way of getting me to dash up to her room. To this day, I still don't understand how she thought telling me to stay away was going to have that effect.

While we're on the subject of feminine logic, can anyone explain this one, which was the bane of my childhood?
Small boy deliberately leaves an item in a location with a view to coming back to it later.
On return, the item has disappeared. He searches for it everywhere, on every shelf and in every cupboard that he can think of, to no avail.
Then the following dialogue takes place;
Boy; Mum, have you seen such-and-such? I can't find it anywhere.
Mother; I put it away, dear, so that you would know where it was.