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How to Give a Cat A Bath

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posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 06:54 AM
How to Give a Cat A Bath

Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).

Cats, like their nemesis, the dog .... do get dirty and have a variety of odors... from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember... your dog will try to eat anything.)

Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.

So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.

Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you .... you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.

1. First .... dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.

3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No ... blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire, the cat barely notices you anyway.

6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom ....speed is essential. In one single liquid motion .shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock . locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than hell.

7. As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slides down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.

10. Next, the cat must be dried. No...this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat, reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door .... put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.

13. In about 2 hours .... it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge. But he does smell better?????

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 07:20 AM
ROTFL, this is so true for so many people XD
I've only had one cat out of many throughout my life that actually was easy to bathe periodically. And that was only because he became so old that he quit fighting back. He would lay there in the tub prone, and totally defeated while glaring bloodcurdling daggers at me, lol.

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 07:46 AM
a reply to: ANNED

This is so true!
I didn't have any gloves, and the scratches I got lasted for months!
And she also was so mad at me afterwards that she avoided me for days.

Since then we just take her to a pet salon once a year where they take care of it for us.
I'm not saying it's the best way to do it,but they sedate her (with an injection) because it's the only way they can wash her and cut her nails and fur.
I know, because I tried before in vain. I still have a scar to prove it.

edit on 29/8/2014 by Rainbowresidue because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 09:11 AM
a reply to: ANNED

Can you please post a video, or at least some pictures of your "How to give a Cat A Bath" process.

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 12:19 PM

originally posted by: ANNED
As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling.

Man.. I was expecting to read some clever solution. This is more like brute force! Lol..

When my cat was a kitty, he used to like to play in the kitty litter and just sit on it. As a result, he always had powder from the clay all over his fur. One day I got frustrated and decided to give him a bath; well I did a few times.. Anyway I think I gave him something like a childhood trauma.

Now as an adult, when I pick him up he struggles to escape in a panic, and I could tell he does not trust me 100%. I think the way he viewed it (the baths) were like some sort of evil torture. So while he may get friendly with me, I could tell he always has some apprehension as if I will torture him at any moment.

In the end I don't think it was worth it, since he was clean only for a few moments and later he was laying in the kitty litter again.


I am experimenting with some very diluted organic Rosemary oil and green tea extract powder. You spray and sprinkle a little bit on dry food and toss for fresh breath and they smell better. I also use baking soda in litter w unscented Fresh Step scoopable with carbon. They smell pretty good.

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 12:21 PM
a reply to: TerrorAlertRed
That's messed up.. Cat's torture around the world

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 06:36 PM
LOL Only one time have I tried to give a cat a bath, when I finally stopped bleeding I swore I would never attempt that again.

Now while I brush and he gets quite comfortable I very gently wipe him down with a cloth and water only, never never anything that even suggests a rinse. I find this effective enough and if he still smells, well he still smells sure beats me bleeding to death.

Loved the post and the laugh, thanks.
edit on 29-8-2014 by 2manyholes because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 06:46 PM

edit on 29-8-2014 by Rikku because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 08:38 PM

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 09:14 PM
a reply to: ANNED

Okay this is too bloody funny because hubby and I were just discussing today about how our kitty is in dire need of a torturous water boarding bath. The timing of this hilarious post couldn't be more perfect.

I think we might put your suggested strategy into practice.

Note to self: Pick up a pair of welder's gloves from Home Depot.

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