The Flatulant Bandercat and the Boxer of Doom

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posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 10:02 PM
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I authored a thread some time ago about my cat. My a=hole cat. He totally is.

The mostly true story of the flatulant bandercat

I promised after writing that thread, that I would update this little bastard's exploits.

I say "bastard" with all due respect to the origins of the word. Trust me. Bander has earned the title.

My ex wife is an animal behaviorist... along with rescuing ass-face cats, we also did boxer rescue... mostly badly abused dogs with only one chance remaining. Rehab or the needle. My ex, her faults withstanding, is a BRILLIANT dog handler. Cats as well... except for one... Bander.

We were rehabbing a large, 80lb boxer named "Moose". Moose had issues with interaction... cats, people... but mostly cats.

We had Moose in our home for two weeks before we started to integrate him with our cats (we had 3 at the time... my exe's 2 and... Bander) His first interactions with the gentler of my exe's cats proved promising. Moose was tentative at first, but when he realized that the cats were family too... he became cool with it. Both of her cats and Moose were quick friends. How sweet...

Then... we tried to integrate him with my Bandercat... this is the story, to the best of my recollection:

(As an aside... Moose would howl and yodel at sirens... it was awesome)

So... there I was, in my office perusing threads on ATS when I heard the most incredible sounds of mayhem spewing from the living room. Intrigued, of course, I opened the door to see what all of the fuss was about...

My Bandercat was firmly inside of Moose's gaping jaws, and he was shaking his big doggie head furiously, as a dog does when trying to rip apart its prey. Or so it seemed...

That isn't exactly what happened, as we discovered when we seperated the two of them. We have no idea what instigated the incident, but based on the aftermath, this is what we think actually happened...

Bander or Moose, not sure which one, irritated the other. Moose decided to see what a cat tastes like, so he attempted to eat him. One problem. He grabbed Bander by the torso, leaving all 20 claws and 90 teeth free to inflict some mayhem. When we pulled them apart, it became clear that Moose was not shaking his head furiously to rip his prey... instead, he was trying to get Bander to let go of him.

The end result?

Bander was a bit gross and slobbery... no blood.

Moose went to the vet for the dozens of cuts and punctures to his ears, neck and face. He looked like an MMA fighter that got his ass handed to him. By a 15lb cat.

Moose and Bander never had another issue, and Moose went to a great home. With scars.

The morale of the story?

I'll let you guys come up with that




edit on 25-8-2014 by madmac5150 because: Al Gore wants to eat your CHILDREN for Easter!




posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 10:11 PM
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I had forgotten about your first installment so a nice surprise... Wonderful storytelling!



posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 10:13 PM
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That was entertaining. The last cat I had, I'm pretty sure it did everything on purpose for max annoying-ness. Yes, thats a word now. Good on you and your significant other for taking in animals to rehab


BTW, your reason for your post edit...was outstanding.



posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 10:17 PM
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As soon as I started reading, I vividly recalled your other thread instantly. Kudos to you for making me laugh my arse off!!

I'm not sure I would like to know Bander. I think I had a Bander years ago though. I think his genes run in quite a few cats still today.



Thank you for your story as I was laughing all over again. Not at you... But with you. I mean if you were laughing... If you weren't... I'm sorry.



posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 10:18 PM
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Truth be told, I really do not care for cats. This little SOB adopted me. I do love him for it


He is still an a~hole though



posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 10:19 PM
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originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe
As soon as I started reading, I vividly recalled your other thread instantly. Kudos to you for making me laugh my arse off!!

I'm not sure I would like to know Bander. I think I had a Bander years ago though. I think his genes run in quite a few cats still today.



Thank you for your story as I was laughing all over again. Not at you... But with you. I mean if you were laughing... If you weren't... I'm sorry.


With his antics, I am always laughing...



posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 10:35 PM
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Amazingly, when he wants to, he can be a very sweet boy... a few weeks ago we had a bad storm, and my roommate's Aussie Cattle dog got scared... so I brough him in with me. Bander snuggled with that dog the entire time. Bizarre.

Also, I should mention that at the time of said incident, we also had a Belgian Malinois that weighed 90lbs and was VERY protective of Moose. When the whole thing went down, she wanted nothing to do with it... LOL. Bander had her scared as well




edit on 25-8-2014 by madmac5150 because: Mistakenly removed tinfoil helmet



posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 10:46 PM
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originally posted by: JJRichey
That was entertaining. The last cat I had, I'm pretty sure it did everything on purpose for max annoying-ness. Yes, thats a word now. Good on you and your significant other for taking in animals to rehab


BTW, your reason for your post edit...was outstanding.


Think you are the first to catch that


Kudos

Manbearpig is next




posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 11:32 PM
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His most recent cameo... sleeping in my roomates laundry bin


10 bucks says he farted in there as well...

Sorry guys.



posted on Aug, 25 2014 @ 11:55 PM
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Morels aren't in season at this time, would it be all right to come up with oysters?

Our cat has a Urinary infection, it's already cost a hundred fifty one plus eighty eight for the vet and medicines and tests. The vets were afraid of the gentle 18 lb cat, I suppose they touched his front paws, he doesn't like that after he had all his nails removed.





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