OK high school administrator shames female students with dress code, calls them ‘skanks’

a reply to: Aural

And this is the problem with the empty self-esteem movement. We should stop with the idea that someone is special just "because" we all say so. When you do this, you are reinforcing the idea that self-esteem only comes to you from others instead of being something that you build and make for yourself. What others have given to you can also be easily stripped from you. A person who has earned their own self-esteem through their own achievement knows precisely what they are capable of and it is much harder for the belittlement of others to strip that intrinsic knowledge away.

a reply to: Aural

Yeah, self explanatory.

If you haven't raised a teenager, you haven't raised a teenager.

Not only did I raise my own, I have a 21 year old grandson I helped raise, and am currently helping raise a 14 year old granddaughter.

I also had a 15 year old foster child (teen girl) who had survived on the streets of Hollywood for 2 years.

I have no problem tangling with school administrators. When my foster child's counsellor told her he was going to control her schedule because she wasn't able to make competent decisions, this "mama bear" set him straight. That 15 year old probably made more compitent decisions in her 2 years living on the streets then he made in a lifetime.

Typical parent. My child is a genius and perfectly behaved. rolleyes

originally posted by: Restricted
Typical parent. My child is a genius and perfectly behaved. rolleyes

My daughter was born an adult, my son is a fun seeker.

a reply to: InTheLight

You underestimate teens (which are young adults, trying to learn to become adults), so in this case not treating them with the basic respect an adult would receive, namely explaining they violated the rules and why, this administrator not only shamed them, but played ridiculous manipulative games with these young adults (e.g. bend down).

psychologists don't classify personality disorders until the age of 18. sometimes there are sure cases when the person is 16, but they wait till 18 because everything is still malleable.

there is a deeper self image/attention issue here and saying "will you please not wear that" is not the right course of action. what is respect worth if an authority figure lets these kids fail? is that really respecting them?

a reply to: olaru12

lol. No insult intended I just felt like making a generalization... those usually work out well right?

My point though, is that humans are very sexual in nature. When people of any gender wear outfits that expose areas of sexual interest, it's likely to cause those of the opposite sex to become distracted by that; distracted from any other good qualities that may be there.

I'm not saying that is a good thing, but it happens, that's why procreation works and we all still exist. That's why guys and girls both faun over the sexiest examples of their opposite sex - even if they know they have nothing in common and no other good qualities; it doesn't matter because the sexual image is all they see eventually.

This can lead to peers realizing the special treatment given to them, due to their sexuality, and will try to emulate. The problem with that is not that they too are being sexual, but it's that they now think that sexuality is what is needed to get ahead. So it created bad feelings among those who are unable/unwilling to flaunt themselves for the benefit, and it created misconceptions in those that think they can really get ahead with that way of behaving.

Along with that, it certainly attracts a bad type of person a lot of the time - the type of person who only wants you for your sexuality. Not only these people (everyone else too, mostly for the wrong reason), but these people are a concern. Because it's likely to lead to people to becoming friends with similarly limited morals and goals (since they think their looks are all they need). Puts people on a completely different path ultimately, do to the exposure to bad influences and positive reinforcement that is dependent on a fading quality.

On top of that...When I was in school I LOVED that kind of dressing, but it was damn distracting - man the time I wasted chasing and... yeah... with girls like that... Sexuality is a drug sometimes, it can take you many places, teach many lessons but should always be handled carefully.

That's all I got. No insults intended.

Okay now you go, then we can each switch perspectives on the issue then go again ? lol

a reply to: Annee

But youre just trying to set guidlines that make only your opinion valid in your mind. Like i said InTheLight is a parent and you still dont agree with them.

I havent been a parent to a teen but ive been a teen not as far back as you have so the memories are still clear and the times hvent changed as much for me. I constantly look out for younger female friends helping them through any situation they have been through. I listen to them and talk to them not at them. Ive had positive influence on them and it wasnt by shaming them.

a reply to: ketsuko

Its not a movement its called empathy. If you do not have it youre a sociopath. No one said anything about having to be special. Its a common courtesy not to treat someone like garbage when they harmed no one.

When my (now grown) daughter's were going to school I told them "if you put up an advertisement with what you wear, beware of the message because people Will answer that ad". My teenage son goes to Noble school and some of the teenage girls around here don't just dress like skanks, they do a pretty good job of acting like it too.

That said, the administrator, well-meaning as she may have been, was completely out of line to publicly humiliate these girls in front of their peers. Bullying is not acceptable no matter the rank or title of the person doing the bullying. Teens (male and female) tend to be melodramatic anyway so something meant to be educational and helpful has turned into more of a sexual harassment issue. Having girls show their backsides publicly to prove a point is beyond the pale. The adults at school are supposed to be a safe haven from all the peer bullying that occurs on a daily basis. (School kids can be vicious!)

Kids tend to internalize everything at that age and take even well-intended advice as personal insults. The administrator was probably trying to speak in the vernacular of her audience and if she'd stopped at the speech I and other parents of the Noble schools wouldn't have too much of a problem with it but when girls come home crying because a school official forced them to publicly expose themselves, I have a big problem with that. Send the kid home to change, speak with them privately and/or with parents present but forcing them to indecently expose themselves in front of anyone crosses the line in a big way.

I signed the petition to get rid of her. Bullying will not be tolerated!