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Tendencies Towards Isolation

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posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 02:56 AM
I have serious tendencies towards isolating myself. I feel like it's in my genes, just a fundamental part of who I am. I know some of my family is/was like this as well. I have always considered the most important time I have to be the time I have alone. It's always seemed sort of like the only 'real' time, everything else is stuff I do because I'm supposed to, and then I go home, where I'm by myself, and that's 'real.' For one thing, I just enjoy the freedom, the comfort. My friends in high school didn't understand how sometimes I just didn't want to do anything. I would rather not make up excuses, and the fact is sometimes, a significant amount of the time, I just don't want to do anything. It has absolutely nothing to do with anyone, and it wouldn't matter what it is, I just would like to be home.

I moved across the country after high school. It was difficult making friends without being in school. This allowed me to sort of idealize a social life, using it as an 'excuse' for why I was alone, as if it were not what I wanted. But as time went on, I have made some friends. But still, what I really like to do is be home, alone. I do things occasionally with friends, and it's fine, I have a good enough time. But still, it feels like something I'm 'supposed' to do, then I get that done and get to go home.

It's not that I'm some cold person. In fact, I am extremely empathetic. I tend to see very deeply into who people are, and feel a strong connection. So, with that there is certainly potential to get very close to me. And, it would be nice to have a few people who I truly, genuinely, deeply connected with. But as it is, I just tend to feel how I described. I sometimes wonder whether this tendency will just further my isolation. But my inner response to that is oh well, I like being by myself. I'm certainly open to, like the idea of, real genuine connection with another, and I sort of feel like real connection like that will just happen when it is meant to. But yea, are there others out there who have this tendency to isolate themselves? Who enjoy being alone? Thoughts?

edit on 24-8-2014 by TheJourney because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 03:08 AM
a reply to: TheJourney

Yeah,I am one of them,I have the same characteristic you described in your thread.I hate going in clubs or places where I know there are a lot of people,but I preffer hanging out with some of my friends..
I preffer to stay here on ATS and debunk information and I preffer to be in a continuous seek of knowledge,rather than losing time by doing some unnecesary things.

edit on 27/07/2014 by PaulTheDuke because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 03:12 AM
Theres nothing wrong in being an introvert and preferring time away from people .. its quite common ..theres even alot on ats who are .. myself incuded as spend most of the year far from people and on my trips back to "civilization" spend limited time around them ..

Prefer my solitude and the tranquillity that comes with it as have a very low idiocy tolerance ...

I dread the trips back to "civilization" and countdown the time till I return back to the boonies and tranquillity ..

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 03:41 AM
People and relationships are high maintenance.

Introverts recharge their batteries by stepping away from the mayhem. Home is our sanctuary.

It's perfectly normal to not be co-dependent on others for self-fulfillment.

The world expects us to be full-time participants, when in fact, there are a ton of us who prefer the job on a "part-time basis only".

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 03:43 AM
a reply to: Expat888

I dread the trips back to "civilization" and countdown the time till I return back to the boonies and tranquillity ..

My favourite part of driving in to the city (to stock up on supplies) is when I see it in my rearview mirror.

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 04:34 AM
a reply to: TheJourney

People overrate genes far too much. Isolatio isn't bad. Only society makes these kinds of judgements. If people on average were worthwhile of the trouble they caused, friends would be beating down their door. The simple fact is, 99.99999999% of people have far more issues than benefits. Welcome to earth! Sorry we didn't have an orientation manual for you to browse. ;p

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 04:35 AM
I used to be ultra-social and the life of the party, I really cared a lot about how other people perceived me. I eventually learned that "hell is other people". Since then, have warmed up a bit, but this is our own journey and we should never be subject to any influence other than loved ones and especially our children.

I say you're likely exactly where you're meant to be and being the person you're meant to be.

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 04:36 AM
a reply to: TheJourney

I'm 60 years of age and I am the same. I've been like it all my life. A nice relaxing day for me is doing nothing bu laying back in my chair and watching videos, visiting a series of websites etc.

Not wanting to do anything is not the same thing as not wanting anything to do with other people, that is not entirely healthy.

Living on ones own is the not the end of the world but its not much fun either. Keep in mind that the quality of our lives is measured in terms of the positive relationship we have with others and that means you need to keep up contact with people in your life. Wanting to spend extended periods of time on your own doing nothing though is not wrong.

Not everyone is a herd animal, so long as its for healthy reasons and not unhealthy reasons.
edit on 24-8-2014 by learnatic because: typo

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 04:42 AM
I'm exactly the same, other people are fine but I prefer my own company, I have a girlfriend and a son, and I spend time with them during the day but then I have to sit up most of the night to get my time to myself, I get rather irritated if I don't get time to myself for a few days... and the odd time I get tempted to go hide for a week... "you never truly know yourself until you're on your own"... so don't feel guilty, you're not alone... when you're on your own.. If you get what I mean.

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 09:00 AM
Totally, you kind of described the way I am too.
But it used to make me feel very uncomfortable, and I would become paranoid about what people thought of me, so I would come up with crazy excuses for not attending this or that event. So stupid.
Thankfully I realised that I wasn't just lying to others, I was lying to myself, so I started to relax and accept that this is how I am, started to enjoy more the privacy of my space.
I also value very much the company of like minded people and prefer having only a few close friends, rather than a multitude of acquaintances. But there lies the trick, in order to meet these people one has to go out and get to know others.
It's still a big challenge to strike up a conversation and find common ground. But I don't get as frustrated as I used to.

Like BasementWarriorKryptonite said, and it's one of my mantras:
You are exactly who you are meant to be, and things are exactly as they are meant to be.

All the best,

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 11:25 AM
I know how you feel OP. I'm a total isolation buff. Lived as a hermit for a few years and loved it. Now I live with an extrovert who loves the crowds and going out. I push myself to do it all the time but in the end I just need some quiet time in my place to recharge and relax.

Despite being an isolationist I have to admit that I do have fun with her and I've grown in many ways. It's tough and it's difficult pushing yourself and many times I just want to go back home and listen to music but I know if I don't push myself it'll make it harder in the long run. Never was one for tons of friends, parties, clubs and events so to me it's a huge step in life.

I'm just like you, sometimes I don't want to do anything. And I don't make up excuses so it's hard telling a gf, no I don't feel like going out today. I can't even describe it, I just need days to recharge in near solitude. I'm very self-reflective, self-analytical so I know I'm not hiding I'm just doing what I've always done. Like a bear going to the wallow to relax after an afternoon of roaming around.

Best of luck with everything and I among many others know just what you go through.

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 01:41 PM
I wonder if there is such a thing as being socially bipolar.
Sometimes I crave the company of other people, even to the extent of hanging with people I don't really like in bars where the dregs of society congregate.

And in contrast, sometimes I like to get in my truck and drive the backroads and avoid contact with everyone for weeks at a time.

With a tablet or laptop you are really never alone. More and more people are replacing physical contact with others for the cyber community.

The species is moving toward a new paradigm.

posted on Aug, 24 2014 @ 06:51 PM

originally posted by: Expat888
Prefer my solitude and the tranquillity that comes with it as have a very low idiocy tolerance ...

I'm the same, so why do we come here?

posted on Aug, 29 2014 @ 02:54 PM
I've had a bit of time to ponder this a bit more, clarify things. Perhaps this is just personal and irrelevant to everyone, idk, lol, just felt like writing it out and may as well post it on the thread on the topic. The thing is, in a sense I love people. I really do empathize with people so deeply. I love the genuineness behind the façade, the real genuine emotions underlying the motivations and reasoning behind why people do what they do. I feel like I understand where people are coming from, in a way that's not just intellectual but deep in my being.

In another sense though, it's like I don't like being around people. Like I said in OP, I always feel like it's almost a burden when I'm supposed to do something with people. In the time leading up to it, it's like 'damnit, guess I gotta go do this.' It's not even like I really have a bad time when I do. It's usually fairly pleasant. But it feels like this fake show I just have to get through. And then when it's done, there's a nice sense of relief that I get to go home.

So it seems a bit paradoxical to me. I have this extremely deep empathetic connection with others, and a sense of love towards people. But on the other hand, just a real deep-seated desire to be alone. Real, genuine connections are great, of course. But even with real genuine connections, I still feel that no matter what alone time has always been, and will always be, extremely important to me.

edit on 29-8-2014 by TheJourney because: (no reason given)

edit on 29-8-2014 by TheJourney because: (no reason given)

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