Instructions for a bad day

I'm having a bad day today. I was sick a lot through out the night & I'm used to my boyfriend being here to comfort me & hold me. He's been gone the last 23 days, fighting forest fires & today I was really missing him. I cried for 18mins straight, until I found this video.


A compilation of worldwide YouTube content, the crowd-sourced documentary "Life in a Day" by Kevin Macdonald, and local footage by Jon Goodgion. Audio is the spoken word poem "Instructions For a Bad Day" by Shane Koyczan.



If you haven't heard of Shane Koyczan, you need to!!! This man is brilliant & comes from B.C Canada!!!

For those that are also having a bad day, hang in there I really, truly, hope that it gets better for you. **Big virtual hug**

Your boyfriend....you just painted a very good picture of him.

I am a romantic sap. My wife has been my heart, soul, and breath for the last 20+ years. When i am out of town, she starts falling apart.

She is the song that soothes the savage beast.

If that is what you got....hold on to it for dear life.

I hope your day goes better! I also want to thank you both, him for the work he does, and you for the sacrifices that you make loving someone who is out there working so hard to keep people safe!

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

He is my rock. He keeps me pieced together & comforts me so much when I'm sick or having a panic attack.

It's all the small things that I miss so much. His different laughs, his different smiles, how we can't get through a show without pausing at least once & going off on a big discussion about something we saw on the show. Washing my back in the shower for me because I can't reach it or the days when I'm too sick to shower alone & he holds me & helps wash me.

He has the day off from fighting so I was texting him as I was crying my brains out. We were able to talk on the phone & ended up chatting for almost an hour and a half. We had a couple of moments where one would make a comment & the other would have a line of thinking that both of us know so well that both of us would say the response at the same time. Ex: he says "blah blah blah, and it's pissing me off" then without skipping a beat we both say "It's pissing me off" in a funny voice (south park reference) and then we both laughed.

I treasure him so much & hope that we get to spend the rest of our lives together. He has made my life a million times better & has brought so much joy & laughter into my life. 3yrs & hoping for tons more.

a reply to: woodsmom

Thank you very kindly for that

I'm doing better now that I've been able to talk to him on the phone.

I know what he is doing is for the best & it will be a huge financial help to us(being sick is expensive) but it's also quite lonely. I just have to tough it out & hope he gets to work on more fires. There are 412 burning in the Kootenay's of BC & there are 35 fires of note (10+ hectares) in the PG area. Lots of work for the fire fighters and I hope every single one of them stays safe.

I don't worry as much because my boyfriend is on the same team as my Dad. My Dad's been fighting fires since 2005-2006ish & is now a crew chief. He is amazing at what he does so it has me worried a bit less knowing that my man is with someone so skilled.

Thank you so much for posting!!

Besides my interest in conspiracy, I joined ATS to combat loneliness. I've been struggling with isolation from my partner for five years now because we, perhaps foolishly given our financial status, are building a new house.

Our old house was extremely mouldy, leaky, collapsing and rat infested. We threw ourselves into the new project without thought of how much money, time or family it would sacrifice. We see each other for coffee five mornings a week and that's it. We hate our round the clock jobs, but have to keep running the treadmill that has kept us apart all this time. My partner has two days off work a week in which to build the house so miraculous a one man work force.

We can't talk to much about it to each other for fear of depressing each other.

So... speaking of wonderful firefighters... Last night I met two amazing women, firefighters from Alberta. I invited them over to my place and through them I suddenly saw my life through different eyes. They didn't know the exhausting life we lead but instead saw the house as a monument of my guy's love for me. They kept grabbing my arm and hugging me saying "he so totally loves you!" I went to sleep feeling kind of blissed out, seeing the truth and big picture and woke this morning minus the chokehold on my heart and ever present leaky eyes. Yay firefighters! Heros on so many levels.

The video with its image of the fists unclenching was really powerful. I realized that it's my psychological fist that was crushing me when nothing really was wrong and that in the universality of sadness we are not alone.

OP.. I am so glad you are loved enough to feel such longing. The loneliness may be there but so is the connection.

hugs

a reply to: knoledgeispower

I meant it from the bottom of my heart! There is actually a good chance that both he and your dad were working the line right across the river from my house in May and June. Having now packed up my life twice for wildfires, I am beyond grateful for the men and women who do that kind of work.

a reply to: knoledgeispower

Sending a ((((HUG))). I can definitely put myself in your shoes. Last summer my husband traveled to visit his family and I could not go. He was gone for over a month. During that time I became very ill,a horrible kidney infection. Took me the better of two weeks to recover.I know he felt so helpless not being able to be there for me,and like you it sounds, I have anxiety that rules over most of my actions and without him it's hard to cope sometimes.
You are very lucky to have such a man in your life, especially one who runs into dangerous situations, while others run away. I had no idea there were so many fires going on there right now, even the updates I got from Shambhala didn't mention it. So much rain here on the east coast, I wish I could send you some.
If you feel lonely, and need an ear...we are always here.

a reply to: woodsmom

My Dad might have been but my boyfriend got asked on late in July to help fit a spot on the team. It wasn't planned so two days later my boyfriend was getting on the greyhound to my Dad's place to study like crazy for the certification test.

I think that's what is the hardest part, it was so sudden & there wasn't time to prepare for it. There were a couple times leading up to him leaving where we got chocked up thinking about different things I'm going to have to be doing on my own that he normally would help me with. ((Which is a lot))

I was always very appreciative of the small things he would but now with him gone, I'm even more appreciative. He used to say "You don't have to thank me, it's just a normal thing I do." I told him that when he gets back he better be ready for way more vocal praise.

I'm just hoping he's back in time for my birthday mid September.

originally posted by: AccessDenied
a reply to: knoledgeispower

Sending a ((((HUG))). I can definitely put myself in your shoes. Last summer my husband traveled to visit his family and I could not go. He was gone for over a month. During that time I became very ill,a horrible kidney infection. Took me the better of two weeks to recover.I know he felt so helpless not being able to be there for me,and like you it sounds, I have anxiety that rules over most of my actions and without him it's hard to cope sometimes.
You are very lucky to have such a man in your life, especially one who runs into dangerous situations, while others run away. I had no idea there were so many fires going on there right now, even the updates I got from Shambhala didn't mention it. So much rain here on the east coast, I wish I could send you some.
If you feel lonely, and need an ear...we are always here.

Thank you I'm feeling really supported right now by all of you

This is the site I use to check on the fires.
All current wildfires

Most of the fires there are small & some of them are ones where it is an area that just has a bunch of spot fires. Those ones you can't really fight as easily so they just let them burn so that they are helping nature get rid of all the dead stuff.

It's crazy to think about forest fires before we had fighters. They are a natural occurring event that helps the earth so you can imagine how big some of those fires would get.