Dismissed.

Apologies in advance, this rant is more to vent my own frustrations than to engage in debate.

I have been medicated for depression and anxiety for 5 years, and its come to the forefront that the underlying issue causing these is PTSD. I am waiting on a psychiatrist appointment next month to have this diagnosis officially recognised. I'm trying to put my life back together, and I cant do it without help--both professionally and within my own personal network.

Its the personal network that is dismissive of me, that because I am unwell I am to be avoided, or that is what they claim anyway. I find it all a little too convenient, as some of these people who are deliberately avoiding me because I am "unwell" acutally owe me money or have my property. Maybe they dont realise but its messing with my illness, or maybe they do realise and I have had half my stuff stolen by people that are ment to be my friends.

None of them respond to my calls or emails, its like "# you, you're not going to be needing this phone, that compute, that TV, that $500, so we'll just keep it". This is not one person, doing this its 5. Its not coordinated either, but the attitude is the same, the response is the same: "you're not well, get some help".

I am not well, but I just want my #ing stuff back.

rant over

with friend's like that you do not need enemy's

I do not know how the law work's in the USA but do you have a small claims court and the recipts for the items ?
or get in touch with Judge Judy and scare them into giving it back

good luck and remember it is only material stuff get new friend's

a reply to: RifRAAF

They owe you your stuff and money back,ill or not. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter how they justify to themselves, keeping your possessions and lent money, they still owe it to you, and you have every right to get it back.

You were a good enough friend to lend it in the first place, they are treating you like crap.

If I were you. I'd send them all, each one, a registered letter of demand, for what they owe you. Give them 30 days notice to return your items, or you will be filing a police report for stolen property, and taking them to Small Claims Court.

Don't be friendly or nice, just very professional and to the point. You can find sample letters of demand online to help write your letters. If you want to make it super official. Have each letter Notarized by a Notary of Public. That seal they use lets the deadbeats know you are serious.

You don't need the stress of wondering why they are avoiding you. They are azzholes that's why.

Take back control of the situation by being proactive, using the power of the law on your side.

Be careful whom you decide to be so nice to in the future. You sound like a nice person, and there are plenty of people out there just waiting for someone like you to take advantage of.

Best of luck.

Des

a reply to: RifRAAF

I'd highly recommend reading Breaking Down - A First Person Perspective

Hang in there, and never give up on yourself.

Cody

Thanks for the input guys, I sent a 30-days to pay demand to one of them 3 months ago, then they went to Japan for 6 weeks.

I was about to call the police this morning on that person--because basically its theft--but my dad talked me out of it.

I'll try and speak to another friend about it when he is back in town, he just graduated from law school so he might be able to help me. I'm really not in the position (mentally/emotionally) to go about this by myself.

Also I have potential access to some good law academics within my university, I just need to be able to beat the anxiety and go there and find them.

originally posted by: cody599
a reply to: RifRAAF

I'd highly recommend reading Breaking Down - A First Person Perspective

Hang in there, and never give up on yourself.

Cody

And look into 1) energy psychology (Tapas Accupressure, EMDR, etc) and 2) Neurofeedback. Both methods have wonderful success rates without medication (and assist in weaning of meds) for PTSD. Neither are terribly expensive either.

Worry about your 'stuff' later if you can. Take care of yourself and the rest will come.

Best Wishes

a reply to: RifRAAF

It`s a hit or miss it seems with this (a bit more hit as miss), but this might help you also somewhat, getting your anxiety under control can help you to get more done (at least worth a try) :

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408081860&sr=8-1&keywords=bach+rescue+remedy

a reply to: BornAgainAlien
Ive tried rescue remedy before and yeah it does help, I dont have any but I should get some.

a reply to: FyreByrd
I know I shouldn't be too hung up on material possessions, having lost everything before I know I can live without them. But there is a flip side to that: everything I have acquired since then has been from my own labour, things I have bought just to have them, to put a barrier between the past and present. That barrier has been compromised and I'm reliving the pain from the whole situation that caused my PTSD (and loss of everything) in the first place...

On reflection it is my own materialism that is the problem here...

ETA: Got a response just after posting:

From here on I will only discuss the issue with [my dad]. You are irrational and some what delusional...

See its because I'm unwell. ffs!

originally posted by: RifRAAF
a reply to: BornAgainAlien
Ive tried rescue remedy before and yeah it does help, I dont have any but I should get some.

a reply to: FyreByrd
I know I shouldn't be too hung up on material possessions, having lost everything before I know I can live without them. But there is a flip side to that: everything I have acquired since then has been from my own labour, things I have bought just to have them, to put a barrier between the past and present. That barrier has been compromised and I'm reliving the pain from the whole situation that caused my PTSD (and loss of everything) in the first place...

On reflection it is my own materialism that is the problem here...

ETA: Got a response just after posting:

From here on I will only discuss the issue with [my dad]. You are irrational and some what delusional...

See its because I'm unwell. ffs!

If you earned your stuff fair and square, I can understand it has some value...good to read rescue remedy works for you, if you can get the edge of yourself with it, it could help give you a little bit different approach to the problems (and those people), so it might help in finding solutions a bit more easily.

I wish you good luck with it, and hope you will find some more calm in your life in the future.

a reply to: RifRAAF

I hear ya pal! What are friends for if not to stab you between the shoulders when you need them the most. I feel your pain because I've been there countless times. Don't let how other people treat you determine your own self-worth. Chin up and stay strong! You are a valued person even if your friends don't particularly support you right now.

My sincerest prayers, OP.

The problem with being too generous is it causes resentment you did this, because they show no gratitude or offer to give anything back to you. I've beat myself up over this for far too long. I'm being selfish now. It all starts off good , but it doesn't end good.

I've had expensive tools stolen from my garage. They were all there, then gone. I asked one person who had borrowed a tool, if he gave it back, but he seems pissed off I asked him. Too bad you big baby. Don't ask again. In fact don't come here again.

I don't know if your property will be returned. I now mine won't.

Violence is never the answer but ur friends need a good punch in the mouth....

a reply to: RifRAAF

Real friends don't pull that kind of $#!t.

I've been through the same thing, I was often taken advantage of because of my afflictions, some people believed that just because I had some issues that meant that I was completely mentally incapable by default. So nowadays if someone asks me for money I tell them that I'm charging interest, that usually stops them. If they want to treat me like a bank than I'll act like one.

You'll have to put your foot down eventually. I know that can be hard when you suffer from anxiety because the idea of facing such a stressful situation can be tough. All I can do is wish you luck and I hope you get your stuff back.

Hi everyone. Your advice has given me a lot to think about, I am possibly not going to retur n=to this thread for a bit. I need to apply my mind to other areas, and here, tho useful for my own recovery, is not the place I need to be to compete my academic work.

I really appreciate everyone who contributed to this thread, that for me was quite unexpected. Your support did make today a better day.

The next time someone tells you: "one person can not make a difference", you can know in your heart and soul that yes they can and yes you have.

Good news everyone. After being called delusional I decided to post the entire 6 months of chatlog with this person on my failbook feed, just so everyone could see how delusional I am.

This morning her parents drop my # off.

1 down (the major one) 4 to go.

I know its nice being nice.
its part of who you are.
but you must try to stop leting them have the stuff in the first place.
some see you as a easy target. and give you sob stories.
you need to leek after your self now.

The point of this wasnt to complain about my property, it was to complain about being immediately dismissed by people because of my mental illness. Today's example:

Last year a friend complained about some web designer ripping him off for building a website, this was a dismissal to me as I have experience in web development dating back to the late 90's. I mentioned that I could build him a site, and my rate I would normally charge him if he were a normal client. He got a pretty good discount and a website and CMS that were beyond his expectations (I mainly build webz for gov/higherEd sector), cool I had some spending $.

Then today he posts a question on his FB feed and some usual responses from the ill-informed populate the comments, one suggesting he hire an SEO consultant... Oh dear, you dont mention SEO consultants to people like me. I very calmly and thoroughly addressed why he should not hire an SEO, and to come see me and I will set up a PPC campaign (at no cost to him).

I was then attacked by his friend on why I "dont know anything about the internet"... You guys are thinking this is normal internet hate machine, and not an actual dismissal due to mental illness. I have to use a fake name on my FB, that is due to my working situation and being unwell; you cant rant about the government if you work for them (even before it was made illegal for public servants to rant about the gov). I would not have been attacked for not knowing my own industry if I could stand by my own name and experience, but I cant, I can only stand behind a veil of anonymity because... I have been dismissed for my illness in my personal life--I dont need it to happen in my professional life.

I think that is enough word soup for today. Please do not star this post as it adds little to the discourse.