The Monster Within... A Message to the Depressed.

originally posted by: douglas5
a reply to: jude11

how bad drink/drugs are for you and depression

speak for yourself... if it wasn't for the heavy dosages of disassociatives while going through a tough divorce I would not be here right now. Yes, most drugs are bad for you because of dependancy and tolerance issues... however if the primary reason (shutting up the voice in your head) is addressed then it has done it's job and knowing when to stop is how to keep from greeting other demons in your life. So please, quit the fearmongering when it is something as serious as depression. Save that stuff for the filler/bs threads. Thank you.

Some quotes on Depression


“There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, 'There now, hang on, you'll get over it.' Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.”



"When you are happy, you enjoy the music. but when you are sad, you understand the lyrics."




"Depression is a flaw in chemistry not character."





"What is depression like? It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing."





"The same girl who smiles and talks non-stop, is the same one who cries herself to sleep at night."

a reply to: jude11
Oh WOW!! I have to admit, after feeling so defeated and sad about Robin Williams, I have to admit that video made me cry. It really did.

If I could take everyone's pain into myself to make everyone else better, I would, in a heartbeat.

Love to everyone suffering out there.

a reply to: jude11

Thanks jude, thanks a bunch. I have been dealing with depression since I was 13 (now 34).
I just want real friends and I can't find any, I cant relate to anyone anymore, I forgot how to socialize, I dont really know who I am. I want help but doctors just wanna put me on meds, I dont want them they make me feel worse.

Peace.

originally posted by: Lichter daraus
a reply to: jude11

Thanks jude, thanks a bunch. I have been dealing with depression since I was 13 (now 34).
I just want real friends and I can't find any, I cant relate to anyone anymore, I forgot how to socialize, I dont really know who I am. I want help but doctors just wanna put me on meds, I dont want them they make me feel worse.

Peace.

Do you have a Pet..Dog? Cat? Animals make great Friends...A lot less Hassle than Humans.
I used to have a Snake, I would take him down the woods with me if the weather was good, take him on car rides, he liked to bask on the dash. Awesome wee friend. Miss him.

a reply to: Soloprotocol
I had two dogs, I had to guve them up when I moved a while back, that partly why im depressed. Im not allowed to have dogs or cats where I live now but im gonna be looking into getting rats again. I miss my dogs so much I did everything with them.

bam, right in the feels

ty for posting this, i cried

i got borderline and i know how it feels to be depressed, atm im feeling good, but its lurking

this made my life a bit less hard, put the vid in my favs so i can watch it again when it does come again

thx again

originally posted by: MikhailBakunin

originally posted by: douglas5
a reply to: jude11

how bad drink/drugs are for you and depression

speak for yourself... if it wasn't for the heavy dosages of disassociatives while going through a tough divorce I would not be here right now. Yes, most drugs are bad for you because of dependancy and tolerance issues... however if the primary reason (shutting up the voice in your head) is addressed then it has done it's job and knowing when to stop is how to keep from greeting other demons in your life. So please, quit the fearmongering when it is something as serious as depression. Save that stuff for the filler/bs threads. Thank you.

I was talking about Alcohol and things like m/jane / weed etc are bad for depression not what a doctor would prescribe to someone .

And talking from having been down the same road as most of those people ,But i would recommend something like saint john's wort before going to your local drug dealer AKA the doctor

have a nice day

originally posted by: douglas5

originally posted by: MikhailBakunin

originally posted by: douglas5
a reply to: jude11

how bad drink/drugs are for you and depression

speak for yourself... if it wasn't for the heavy dosages of disassociatives while going through a tough divorce I would not be here right now. Yes, most drugs are bad for you because of dependancy and tolerance issues... however if the primary reason (shutting up the voice in your head) is addressed then it has done it's job and knowing when to stop is how to keep from greeting other demons in your life. So please, quit the fearmongering when it is something as serious as depression. Save that stuff for the filler/bs threads. Thank you.

I was talking about Alcohol and things like m/jane / weed etc are bad for depression not what a doctor would prescribe to someone .

And talking from having been down the same road as most of those people ,But i would recommend something like saint john's wort before going to your local drug dealer AKA the doctor

have a nice day

I Appreciate your input but it is wrong.

Depression is not curable with Pharm, love, friends...Just NO

We have a chemical imbalance that just will not be met with anything.

Leave us alone and we will either rise or not. That is our Destiny..

Peace

Again, MSG as a cause of depression has been studied. Even the military has considered that the increases in suicide and depression could be MSG related, as they put it in just about everything the troops eat. MSG is the weapon of choice by the PTB, it sickens and kills and depresses. Get off it, you'll be glad you did.

originally posted by: GaryN
Again, MSG as a cause of depression has been studied. Even the military has considered that the increases in suicide and depression could be MSG related, as they put it in just about everything the troops eat. MSG is the weapon of choice by the PTB, it sickens and kills and depresses. Get off it, you'll be glad you did.

Thanx for the QuikFix..

But MSG is NOT the cause.

If you were here with us, you would get it.

Peace

Thanks for posting this Jude. It can be very hard for people without depression to understand. I have a friend the other day that just said "'I don't get depression, why can't people just be happy? I don't understand it". I come from a family riddled with mental illness, but for some reason, none of them talk about it, meaning I grew up thinking I was alone in it. Even my own mother, who has to take aropax daily to survive tells me to 'just go to the doctor and get some pills' when I am feeling at my worst. Not a word of encouragement, or love, just 'go get a quick fix' I HATE antidepressants. They have that little side effect called 'feeling more suicidal' which always tends to hit me. I had multiple attempts in 2008 while on Effexor, so I quit my job, and laid down for 6 months, weaning myself off them. I swore I wouldn't take them every again, but after my 2nd child and two freshly failed business attempts that were very close to my heart, I am feeling absolutely hopeless about myself. I'm in that catch 22 though, where I would never end it, as I love my children and husband too much to put them through that pain - but that in turn makes me feel worse, as I have all the associated guilt of wanting to go, to stop being a burden upon everyone, but unable to do so.

Robin Williams death hit me harder than I expected too, because like everyone says, he has 'everything' but more so because he was 63. and that made me tired. At 63 I had hoped to have all this sh** figured out by now, and happily enjoying my last 20-30 years, not still struggling with the same old demons, making me feel like I have accomplished nothing.

I hope everyone on this thread is ok today, I can't be one of those 'U2U me' folk, as I am at that stage myself where I can't open messages, but I am reading this, and thinking about each of you.

The "chemical" imbalance you speak of is caused by your mental state, not the other way around.
But once in it, it becomes hard to "snap out" of the depression cycle.


It will make you have all those physical symptons we all love : chronical difuse pains, burning feel on the body, loss of apetite, insomnia, etc


The loss of self steem, loss of interest, sadness, anxiety, panic attacks etc are mainly psychological, but it is exactly what will keep your neurotransmiters imbalanced, and also what will help keep those psychological symptons going (serotonin comes to mind, it is one of the responsible to atenuate medular pain, by releasing encephalins, which work pretty much like a natural morphine, the lack of that will cause general difuse pain, even though the pain per se does not exist).


If it was the other way around (imbalance -> causes depression) people that take anti depresives would have to take em for life, when that is not the case, lots of people come out of the "cycle" and have no need to take meds again, heck some people snap out of it with no meds at all from some deep down hardcore depression, while some people never snap out of it because they do not get rid of the psychological part (aka ROOT problem), these become "junkies" to a point they become completely dependant on the meds and never actually get better, constantly having to take em just to make life bearable for a bit.


Don't get me wrong, I am not saying everyone knows why they're depressed, what I am saying is, even if you THINK you don't know, and even if you don't know, there is always a reason.

originally posted by: douglas5

originally posted by: MikhailBakunin

originally posted by: douglas5
a reply to: jude11

how bad drink/drugs are for you and depression

speak for yourself... if it wasn't for the heavy dosages of disassociatives while going through a tough divorce I would not be here right now. Yes, most drugs are bad for you because of dependancy and tolerance issues... however if the primary reason (shutting up the voice in your head) is addressed then it has done it's job and knowing when to stop is how to keep from greeting other demons in your life. So please, quit the fearmongering when it is something as serious as depression. Save that stuff for the filler/bs threads. Thank you.

I was talking about Alcohol and things like m/jane / weed etc are bad for depression not what a doctor would prescribe to someone .

And talking from having been down the same road as most of those people ,But i would recommend something like saint john's wort before going to your local drug dealer AKA the doctor

have a nice day

actually, mj is the only thing that got me eating, and allowed me to stop clenching every muscle in my body uncontrollably for hours, leading to total body exhaustion, while I was weaning of my antidepressants. It also stopped those constant headshocks you get every time you move when trying to stop your meds. I don't do it now, but I very much credit it to saving my life, and that is NOT an over exaggeration.

originally posted by: douglas5

originally posted by: MikhailBakunin

originally posted by: douglas5
a reply to: jude11

how bad drink/drugs are for you and depression

speak for yourself... if it wasn't for the heavy dosages of disassociatives while going through a tough divorce I would not be here right now. Yes, most drugs are bad for you because of dependancy and tolerance issues... however if the primary reason (shutting up the voice in your head) is addressed then it has done it's job and knowing when to stop is how to keep from greeting other demons in your life. So please, quit the fearmongering when it is something as serious as depression. Save that stuff for the filler/bs threads. Thank you.

I was talking about Alcohol and things like m/jane / weed etc are bad for depression not what a doctor would prescribe to someone .

And talking from having been down the same road as most of those people ,But i would recommend something like saint john's wort before going to your local drug dealer AKA the doctor

have a nice day

Also, st johns wort cannot be taken with the contraceptive pill too, so its not practical to take for a lot of women. I was on the pill for a few years as a teenager and had to choose to continue, rather than try st johns wort, as the physical pain I would get not on the pill was awful.

The Monster Within.... That's pretty accurate.
Because sometimes there's a voice within, a voice different than the one you're use to.
Different than the voice you use to read silently in your mind. This other voice is cruel, hateful and sucks the life right out of you. That "monster" voice tells you how to act, how to view the world. Tells you that you are unlovable, and you can not love. That voice is scary beyond words, terrifying and benevolent.
That voice rules your world... it is darkness.
I'm right there with you.
That is half of me, the other half is the opposite... But, I won't get into that.

I know that monster.. unfortunately.


That video actually made my heart swell, with what I don't know. Happiness? A sense of not being alone?
He did explain it very well, so well that I can actually talk/write this stuff down.
I'll regret it later lol!



Also... The fact that it clogs up my bright mind with a dark cloud and makes me feel like an idiot is most unsettling also!
Knowing your potential, or what you're capable of and not being able to use that potential kills me. It is what it is though

Situational depression is different than standard depression. For example a man has a good job, a beautiful wife and 3 children, and good health, with nothing in his life to make him feel depressed, yet he is.

Now you have a man who's average wife left him by cheating with his best friend, one of his three kids died from cancer, and he is 50 years old and also just lost his job of 20 years. He never suffered from depression before these events, but now he is depressed because of life events.

a reply to: Mister_Bit
No trust me, you don't. I wouldn't wish what I feel on anyone.

This is a great thread and it is a good place to share experience and support. I been there my self in my youth, wife left me for a co-worker, lost everything, the usual things that one goes through. It sent me on bad path that I didn't understand till I got professional help both medical and spiritual. It made a huge difference in my life but I still sometimes slip down that path and soon realize I will never go to that place again.

For the people who don't understand this disease and have never walked in those shoes don't be too quick to down play the effects on the mind and that its not possible in some cases to think clearly. As I stated in another thread I lost a good friend last year to this disease. I was on the phone with him when he did it and yet I couldn't do or say anything to save him, he was done with life as we know it and had enough of the pain.

Some people need support, some need meds, sometimes a good friend, everyone is different and each situation calls for attention in a different way. There doesn't seem to be a cut and dry approach to this serious condition. Threads like this bring out more people who have been there or are still in a severe state of depression and its great that they choose to open up about whats going on. Keeping it to yourself does no good, it only makes it worse.

PLEASE READ if you suffer from depression and antidepressants don't help.

So, long time lurker to abovetopsecret. This post (along with Robin Williams RIP) actually prompted me to create an account.

About 5 years ago I had been suffering from depression for about 15 years. It began in my early 20s. There were no antidepressants that worked for me. I was diagnosed with dysthymia by doctors. It's a chronic depression that is long lasting and your mood is typically low. It's not as bad as major depression, but is still debilitating in many aspects of life. It's hard to describe how you feel while on antidepressants to anyone tha's never been on them before but many choose the word "zombie". This is fairly accurate in my estimation when a) you are taking the wrong type of antidepressant, or b) your body actually needs something natural it isn't able to process. In my case it was b). Instead of being severely depressed and unable to act on many mundane life activities I plodded along with my feelings/emotions extremely stunted. Most of the time I would quit taking them because I hated this feeling. This is why many depressed people say it makes it worse. Because they would rather be depressed and feel something than nothing at all.. It's also a major reason for self-medication rather than being on antidepressants (abuse of drugs, sex, alcohol, etc.)

So, in the beginning of the last paragraph anyone who's astute caught that I said 5 years ago.. I have not been depressed for 5 years. What changed? L-Methylfolate. My body wasn't able to break down vitimin b9 into L-Methylfolate which your brain needs to function properly. According to research up to 70% of patients with depression have a genetic mistake, called the MTHFR polymorphism. It is an enzyme defect that compromises the body’s ability to break down folate.

L-Methylfolate is considered a medical food and is Generally Recognized as a Safe (G.R.A.S.). It's naturally used within the body to create neurotransmitters. Endorphin's are neurotransmitters that cause you to feel pain, stress, fear etc..
There are 20 known types of Endorphin's within the body. Many of them keep your body working properly. If they aren't firing properly then what you typically get is some sort of mental illness, most commonly it's depression.

You can get prescribed L-Methylfolate through doctors which will come in the form of what's called Deplin in 15mg. Or you can get it over the counter through amazon and some other places in 10mg's or lower. Above 10mg and you have to have a prescription even though it's not a pharmaceutical drug.

Since taking a 10mg pill a day of L-Methylfolate I have had no side effects and I feel like I did before I had depression. Motivation, self esteem, and energy are back. (I sound like a freakin infomercial...)

Since having positive results I have told about 25+ people suffering with depression about it. There have only been 2 people who didn't have good results. That's pretty damn good odds if you ask me.

Here's the crazy thing.. which could lead to a conspiracy segue if I wanted to get into it deeply.. Many of these people I have talked to who tried being prescribed Deplin by their doctors were poo poo'd and told antidepressants were the way to go. Not only is research with L-Methylfolate fairly new but it seems like doctors are brainwashed by big pharma into pushing pharma drugs.

Treatment Resistant Depression
How Deplin Works?
Endorphins
Mthfr mutation