posted on Dec, 8 2004 @ 10:26 AM
Well to the first question- No I wouldn't cry over a guy friend leaving for only 3 months. I probably wouldn't have cuddled with any male friends at
all. But we aren't talking about me here.
I think its safe to say that girl number one has some strong emotional attachments, if she could not hold back tears, knowing you would be returning
in a few months.
The other possibility is that this girl has serious abandonment issues and needs to feel that she won't be left in a lurch by anyone. She may also
feel the need to be held, due to such instability. I do not know her so I cannot say.
Really you need to decide for yourself how stable she is. Is she needy and clingy? Is she a bit of a drama queen or attention seeker?? If not, chances
are she just had a lot of confusing feelings for you, and somehow felt that if you left she wouldn't be able to have what she wanted with you.
Usually, if someone is just a pal, knowing theyll be back in a matter of months, will keep you from shedding the tears (at least when they can see
Ok on to bachelorette number 2! This is a little more confusing, because personality is a big factor in deciding what exactly this chick is interested
in. Lets do a little Q & A to determine (don't worry you don't neeed to actually answer these to me...but keep them in mind).
1-Does this girl always have to have something big going on in her life (aka drama?)
Does she need attention/affection more than others?
2-Is she a touchy- feely outgoing type with everyone?
3-Is she shy and insecure?
4-Does she need reassurance that she is nice looking?
5-Does she flirt with you (and only you) when there are other guys around? Does she make eye contact and smile with you more than other people?
6-Does she like to appear to be "with" you in public?
7-does she try to spend time alone with you?
Okay questions 1-4 if answered yes would be indicative that she is just looking to feel better about herself, by feeling affection from a male friend.
Which would mean, proceed with caution.
5-7, if answered yes, may indicate that she is interested in being "more than friends" with you.
Its very difficult to tell, because there are girls who need to feel like they have control over guys. These are often girls who have been burned
badly in the past and try to prove they can get whoever they want, but won't get to the point where they can actually get hurt.
Do you want to pursue this girl romantically, stay friends, or become hook-up pals aka friends with benefits?
If you answered yes to number 1- Try asking her out on a date, and talking, and showing some small signs of affection (maybe hold hands, cheek kisses,
etc). Yes, we're liberated, but pay for the date anyway. This lets her know that its a date.
If yes to #2, I recommend you nicely ask what she is doing. Tell her if it is confusing for you. Avoid the cuddling, because it is a little
inappropriate for pals to be doing.
If number 3, you could try to turn up the heat during your next cuddle-fest (alone time), but I strongly recommend against the whole
friends-with-benefits thing. Those things never work out. You don't hook up with your pals. Well, I surely don't!
I hope this helped.