Proper For Older Women?

a reply to: WhiteAlice

Yes! A pigtail day. I can do pigtails. That would be fun Ladies.

Des

Now this can be totally wrong for you as an individual. If it is. Woman of ATS tear me a new one. I talked to my girlfriend over the phone right now about this and this is what she said and I kind of agree with her from personal observations of friends and family members. Now this does not go for all woman. As I believe all woman are unique and beautiful.

What she said was this. That the woman who are still sexually desired by their mate or still want to be sexually desired by someone usually have the longer hair as they age. Those that are no longer sexually desired by their mate or do not want to be sexually desired by others have the shorter hair as they age. As to cloths and hair color. She said that is about how you want to feel on any given day. But it all comes down to how sexy you want to appear. Whether for yourself or for others. My girlfriend is 36 years old. In case you are wondering. This is not the opinion of some teenager lol.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

Well, maybe for some women, I can agree, but in my grandmothers case, she told me (unasked, mind you!), that she and my grandfather were......... active, lol, up until his cancer diagnosis. Early 70's for him, late 60's for her.
Short hair and all!

T M I

a reply to: chiefsmom

Like I said all woman are different. I would never put all woman in the same box. All men and woman should love their mate for the contents of their mind and heart not looks but we do live in a world where the physical is prized above all else. What I wrote was just the opinion of one woman. And we are crazy anyways. I am a 30 year old man she is a 36 years old woman and we have sickening pet names for each other. Just look at my avatar lol.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

lol, I think your girlfriend needs to get her mind out of the gutter.

As for sexual attractiveness, I've met men who thought short hair was amazing on women because it bared the nape of the woman's neck. Whether a guy prefers short or long haired women depends on the guy. In that case, the length of hair really doesn't pan out to sexual activity or the desire to be desirable...especially in light of chiefsmom's granny, LOL. Overall, at a certain point, it's how a woman feels about herself and what makes her feel good. I think sometimes way too much stock gets put into our desiring to look good for men as opposed to looking good because it makes us feel good about ourselves.

My hair is long in part due to circumstance and in the other part due to my lack of love for hairdressers. Note that men have zip to do with either of those reasons for my hair's length. If I gave two cents for the male opinion, I guess I'd actually do my hair once in a while but nope, crazy natural hair is how I roll. I actually curled my hair one day because it was a little too insane (like really insane) and got a whole lot of attention from men for my "luscious locks". It was kind of stupid. The odds of me doing that again in the next year?

Zero. LOL Mostly because I'm laaaaaaaaaaaaaazy but also because the attention made me feel so awkward. Well maybe if my hair gets beyond insane again sometime because looking like a longhaired Einstein is a bit much even for super lazy me, hee hee.

originally posted by: WhiteAlice
a reply to: karmicecstasy

lol, I think your girlfriend needs to get her mind out of the gutter.

She really does lol because what I posted was the sanitized version. The not violating the T&Cs version of what she said.

Jeans are my favorite clothing on earth, and otherwise whatever is the most comfy. Like hair colored, always had to anyway, have a heinz 57 type hair, when long, that is auburn or quite chesnut underneath, blond and will bleach out naturally on top, and light brown at the roots, was honey blond until mid teens. Like my dads hair actually. So I tried, light brown, made my skin look sallow; red, loved it, not right for my skin. Blond, works for my skin, which is slightly honey ivory too, and is my birthright. Anyway, I try to sort of even out the colors a bit for my own sense of sanity, and prefer to cover grey. But alas its still heinz 57 and can't stand to dye it more than 3 or 4 times a year, so its kind ombre.

At 51 its below my shoulders, would be longer but its not thick and springy, but more fine and always messes up fast, so I like it slightly layered and as long as I can get away with.

As for some of the so called fake things that some don't like, ie hair extensions, eyelashes, lifts, well....I don't wear them as all my money goes into the boys and family, however, I LOVE THEM! They are beautiful. I would have quite a lot of things different if I had some money to spend on myself for a change. I see guys with big boats, lots of man cave toys, beer money, and I kind of think I have the same right to happiness and adventures and joy as they do, and what I would like to spend on myself is a fraction of what most of them spend uselessly.

One thing is certain, when you look good you feel good, your health improves and you uplift everyone more. Doesn't have to be blatantly artificial, or tailored, since I'm a hippy that won't do. But its nice to have that boost.

For me its more about envisioning what I'd have when the house wreckers finally tone down and things become prettier around me.

I envision blue jeans, and tank tops, and native hippy beads, and moccasins or barefoot, my fav, and tasteful hair extensions and sometimes a fantasy color, and lashes too, since the gold tip ones I had all my life always need a touch of mascara which is all I wear half the time. Artistic and hippy (ish) with a touch of glamour would be my look.

originally posted by: karmicecstasy

originally posted by: WhiteAlice
a reply to: karmicecstasy

lol, I think your girlfriend needs to get her mind out of the gutter.

She really does lol because what I posted was the sanitized version. The not violating the T&Cs version of what she said.

lol, you're in trouble, sir, as she hasn't even hit her supposed peak yet. Best of luck to you both when that hits. You're a dead man! lol

a reply to: Night Star

The most beautiful hair I have ever seen belonged to an older woman. She had almost waist length silver hair, as shiny as a brand new quarter. She also wore a lovely smile and confidence to go with it!

I guess I have never been one for proper anyway, but everyone should be happy and comfortable with themselves and not try so hard to fit any mold. Your hair and clothing should reflect whatever makes you most comfortable.

a reply to: Night Star

Great thread!
My two daughters give me grief about my hair.
I'm over 60, my hair is only shoulder length.
It used to be blond, but has darkened some over the years.
Starting to get white hair sprinkled in,
but so far, I just weed them out if they are too noticeable.

My sister is 2 years younger & has long straight hair down to her waist.
She has always colored it to keep it the color she was born with.
She wears it in a long, low ponytail & my nieces don't mind!

Ever since our first was born,
I've put my hair in a ponytail on the top of my head at night,
or after I wash it, & roll it up in a curler or two.
When I take it down, there is a nice curl on the ends.

When our family went camping this summer,
& my nieces saw my 'Pebbles Flintstone do' for the first time,
they were thoroughly amazed!
They thought that I used a curling iron all these years!
They wished it would work on their hair!
You don't get this old & have 5 kids,
without learning a few time saving tricks!

I wear comfortable clothes around the house,
if I have to go to something special,
I put on a little makeup & dress for the occasion.
I think by this age, I've earned the right to do what 'I' want!

When I was a junior in high school,
we were finally allowed to wear pants to school!
Mind you, this was public school!
Before, it was dresses & skirts only,
& they had to come to the knee.
Really chilly in the winter!!!

One thing we used to be told growing up was,
"Wear your clothes tight enough to show that you are a woman,
but loose enough to show that you are a lady!"

I think that still goes for how short, tight, body part revealing or whatever!
If ripples or body parts, that nobody wants to see, are hanging out,
no matter what your age, do everyone a favor & go back & change your clothes!
Every time I see a young dude's drawers,
I want to run over & pull up his pants!!! Ha, ha!
But that's just my opinion!
WOQ

a reply to: Night Star

Enjoyed your thread, but the only people that need the message won't be caught dead on ATS.

As a VERY senior citizen, my GF is the only one at the local senior center that caught my eye when I was in the market for one a couple of years ago. It was her slim figure in part, but mostly it was her shoulder-length totally, naturally white hair that caused me to approach her for conversation. From my experience, I must surmise that other aspects of these spirited women are also hidden under those long tresses.

a reply to: karmicecstasy

I would probably agree with that. I want my husband to look at me and drool.... so whatever makes him drool the most will almost usually win! On the other hand, if there was nothing that I could do to make him drool... I might not care so much!

I guess my style is classic chic sort of Chanel / Gap with some Boden / White Stuff bohemian influence.

I am an artist so day to day I wear comfortable clothes that I can draw and paint in and that wash easily, that said they are still reasonably smart, linen pants and tunics feature a lot in summer for example. Ballet shoes generally. In winter, jeans /trousers and cashmere are favourites, as are Chelsea / riding boots. I tend to keep the same styles I know I like and feel comfortable in. I have always preferred wearing darker classic colours and shapes, black, navy, gray and prefer unfussy, unfrilly, unfloral, unpatterned and un froufrou, same with my hair.

I coloured my hair pink and lilac for a few years in the 90's, sometimes with part shaved head with little rosettes etc, pretty punkish perhaps but still chic and wore all black.

My hair grows really fast and whilst isn't all that thick there is a lot of it and in summer really long hair is too annoying, as is wearing it in a ponytail, pigtails, bun and the hassle of washing, drying and straightening it when really long is tedious and time consuming. I also suit shoulder length hair so I tend to have either shoulder length or longer hair depending on the seasons and how I feel about it. I lighten my hair and have done for more than 20 years. It is naturally light brownish with some golden and reddish tones and there isn't a colour I have found in any salon that does that colour so to blend in the little grey, I have it lightened, between light and dark blonde and light brown, most often a mixture of those and it looks natural.

As for make up I prefer minimal, I wear lipstick /stain often, as I like a flash of colour and a flick of eyeliner and naturally glossy mascara, it takes about 5 minutes if that. I look after my skin and prefer to look clean and healthy. I look a lot younger than my age.

When my hair eventually gets all silver I will relish it as it often can look great, same for long hair on older women, if it suits them and is in good condition. Though like another poster said, many older women I know of have shorter hair due to thinning and often shorter hair is more youthful than longer hair. It has more movement and shape and often looks far more chic, depending on the style.

All that said, style is personal and people should dress how they feel suits them within the boundaries of decency, obviously.

Like another poster also said, certain things IMO never look good, like too much make up, too short skirts, too much cleavage etc. and are probably best avoided whichever age.

I'm forty six and have dreadlocks down to the bottom of my butt so proper really isn't working on me. A little more conscious of my clothes to stay appropriate because I have teen sons who get embarrassed easily but beyond that I still wear the same clothes, sexy to fugly, that I have had since my twenties.

My hair is very fine, so the longer it gets the more likely it is to have my ears sticking out through it. I also can't find hair fasteners to tie it back because the hair slides out, so I don't let it get longer than shoulder length usually.

I thought that keeping your hair shorter with age was a function of texture change. I have one gray hair that tends to be completely differently textured than the rest. It's more wiry and prone to fly at odd angles.

originally posted by: WhiteAlice

I think that I'd look like an idiot at my age trying to pull that one off.

It's when it doesn't look good that the world deserves sparing.

These statements make me a little sad...we judge ourselves and others SO harshly, and why? WHO made these invisible rules that are meant to be followed? If the world deserves "sparing" from the sight of something I wear? They fully have the freedom to look the other way IMO - and that's the polite version. After all, I am not dressing for them, I am dressing for me. I delight in seeing others happy in themselves - no matter, age, nor size, nor hairstyle. I refuse to judge or take away from the joy another is experiencing, whether verbally or internally.

A GF and I discovered that when we intentionally ceased the judging of another's choice in appearance, we came to love and appreciate ourselves MORE. An interesting happenstance I think, and moreover it FELT good to experience those results! Women (as has been my notice) seem to be especially harsh on themselves AND one another - but TRUST - as cheesy as it sounds - there IS room in this world for ALL of its beautiful butterflies!


I have had my hair all manner of shades over the years, pink, blue, purple etc. What interested me most, was that older women were almost always the ones approaching me and saying that they loved my hair and wished they could "get away with it". I was disheartened that they felt they could not - especially as most were retired and did not have a job to conform for. We impose so many needless restrictions upon ourselves in society, that it has taken a lot of fun and creativity away IMO.

I understand such colours may not be acceptable for some jobs (along with piercings and tattoos), but the obvious thing we should be asking is how ANY of this creative expression affects anybody's ability to DO the job? Unless one's piercings are an issue with machinery, I'd wager the answer is it doesn't in the slightest.

That being said, I no longer use colour in my hair, because I came to loathe how the pre-colour bleaching made my hair drier than I'd prefer, even after conditioning. BTW coconut oil is such a treat! - my hair is healthier than ever now, AND it does away with frizz or fly-aways as well! I have found a *fabulous* colour replacement in the way of hair pony-falls made of yarn, glittery yarn, feathery bits and metallic streamers in as many colour combos as you can imagine. I wear them in the form of long pigtails or a long ponytail and they delight me every time I wear them - which was the main reason I loved coloured hair.

In a society that is so angled towards telling women what is wrong with them so they fall into the advertising trap and buy __ product - I revel in feeling like I am taking control in a way that makes me smile to see myself, and appreciate myself, in spite of the negative societal messages often purveyed. Inner joy exudes outwards and is a real and tangible thing!

I like doing full (re: not heavy) makeup because it's creative for me, but I am equally as comfortable leaving the house with only mascara and lipstick. But it will be a cold day in h.e.l.l. when I invest in wrinkle creams or anti-aging "whatevers"!! NO corporation is going to shame me about MY natural aging process to sell their wares!

When I am an older lady I shall still find joy with hair - and it WILL be long - either pure white, beautiful silvery grey or white with a vibrant lavender hue, I'd wager. Love the skin you're in, and do yourself happy to the fullest!! You only live once (that you remember, anyway)!

Age is but a number and the only limitations on it, are those placed by yourself.

P.S. I would hazard a guess that those who say one MUST have short hair or "normal" hair as they age, deep down wish they had more courage to experiment. Next time ask them "Who said"?

a reply to: Night Star

Hello Ms. Night! My wife and I have observed the senior "older" couples arriving at the restaurants prior to 5pm (she says because they can still get the lunch-time prices before 5!)

We refer to them as the "Blue Hair Club". All the ladies hair is done at a beauty-shop, short, sprayed to hell with hairspray...and SILVER (kinda looks blue a little, hence the name.)

If we go to say a concert for a cover band or festival...as we look out from the back...we see a sea of identically short, hairsprayed and "blue-hair-club" members as far as the eye can see!

Back in the day my mom would say "Im going to get my hair done". And I'd ask her "Why mom?" What are you gonna do with it when its done?" And she'd come home with it sprayed to heck, short and ...."blue" (silver!)

originally posted by: TrueBrit

However I am not a moron. I do NOT care what others think of my appearance, I only care that I am physically comfortable in what I am wearing.

Focusing on how one appears to others, is the most puerile waste of intellect I have ever come across.

I loved this post SO much - You Sir, are brilliant!!

I had to laugh, because I have had occasion to say "I am not a moron" now and again - because I refuse to be talked down to by some who deem themselves worthy of judgement, solely based upon my sartorial choices.

a reply to: MoonBlossom

Part of the reason why is that specific look is extreme girlishness. While I'm sure that many that know me personally would say that I could probably still pull it off (still looking pretty young), it is still girlish to the extreme. It is really one of those looks that are perfect for a young woman but would probably look a little nightmarish on a 40 something as it's intended to make the wearer look like a porcelain doll. And if I really, really wanted to wear it, I could probably modify the look to what I felt comfortable in (because that is what is really important--what one feels comfortable in because confidence is greater than all else) but I'm just not that into clothing and hair to even do that. I could see my 20 something self taking the time to do the make up, curl the hair, and pick out all the tiny elements to make a fantastic outfit but 40 something me would consider it all a waste of time. So part of it is simply an attitude change. Do I think it's an adorable look? Totally. Even if I could get away with it, would I wear it? No because who I am prefers minimum of fuss. However, I did pick up a short black trench with a cute, sleek ruffle at the hem. My little nod to the Gothic Lolita look.

No worries to all else though, the age rule just doesn't apply. I'm knocking about in jeans, tshirts and hoodies for casual and typically something modern and cool for work. And I'll never grow out of my Doc Marten's that I've had for about 20 years, lol, and sporting Oakley Juliet shades with a tendency of looking like a "secret agent" according to my daughter.

I'm also letting myself go totally white so I am going to be a truly WhiteAlice within a few years. I think it's going to look amazing as it's pure white.