Through some savvy hacking skills and some deep secret contacts I have with the government, I have obtained the actual telephone transcripts between
Obama and Netanyahu. I know the other thread was a hoax, but these should prove to be authentic.
BO: Hi. Is Ben at home?
Israel: Just a minute, I'll check.
BN: Sup! Who's this?
BO: It's me, Barry! Sup!
BN: What's going on?
BO: Nothing much. Golfing, tee-vee stuff, made a speech the other day. You?
BN: Blowin' stuff up. War. Did you catch the latest episode of Trueblood?
BO: Nope, don't say anything though, I tevo'd it. Say, Benny, can you stop blowing stuff up for a while?
BO: Sh#t be getting real, brah. Plus it'll make me look tough if I lay the hammer down.
BN: (sighs) What's in it for me?
BO: What do you want?
BN: Money, a walk-on role in "The Walking Dead", and your word that you'll support us forever. (pause) Okay! I'm kidding on the last one. I
don't want you to make promises you can't keep. (laughs)
BO: Dude! You burned me! (laughs) Okay on the money, I'll bump Biden off his role for "The Dead" show, and I'll even throw in the new iPhone6.
Plus, I'll even throw in Beyoncé's phone number.
BN: For real? Barry! You rock! But I already have her number! She gave it to me first!
BO: Burned again! Kay. Gotta go. The wife is calling, something about Russia attacking Poland or something lame again.
BN: Kay, brah. Oh, by the way. . . Sookie gets sick! BWAHAHAHAHAHA SPOILER ALERT!
BO: Dang it! Burned again!
I'll follow up, if I can, to bring you the most accurate, up-to-date info.