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The Face of a Predator (poem)

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posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 04:07 PM
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I am drifting black with a rotten promise of suppressed sorrows
That each breath, each heartbeat, every footstep, delivers me closer to a beast

The foul scent of eucalyptus hangs in the air, welcoming me to this filthy place
Wind howling as I open the door, a sickening reminder...

As images echo, a monster lies in wait, hiding under a cloak of normal
But, at the edge of that disguise there is a tiny thread, and I tugged it

In the stale air, the disguise deteriorated, destroying the monsters power over the innocent
I saw the scars of lives destroyed littered across the face of a predator

And I told...




posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 05:11 PM
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Powerful stuff.



posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 05:21 PM
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a reply to: Fargoth

Thank you




posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 06:16 PM
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a reply to: Jennyfrenzy

Very Very Good!



posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 08:33 PM
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a reply to: SyxPak

Thank you




posted on Jul, 30 2014 @ 02:16 PM
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a reply to: Jennyfrenzy

This is very dark and powerful!



LL



posted on Jul, 30 2014 @ 02:30 PM
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If you will permit a suggestion on formatting:
=========================================

The Face of a Predator

I am drifting
black with a rotten promise of suppressed sorrows

That each breath,
each heartbeat,
every footstep,
delivers me closer to a beast

The foul scent of eucalyptus
hangs in the air,
welcoming me to this filthy place

Wind howling as I open the door,
a sickening reminder...

As images echo,
a monster lies in wait,
hiding under a cloak of normal.

But, at the edge of that disguise
there is a tiny thread,
...and I tugged it

In the stale air,
the disguise deteriorated,
destroying the monsters power over the innocent

I saw the scars of lives destroyed
littered across the face of a predator

And I told...

-Jennyfrenzy July, 2014

===========

HTH, nice job.



posted on Jul, 30 2014 @ 02:48 PM
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a reply to: Jennyfrenzy

Is that a memory from childhood?

It was quite poetic, I liked the language and imagery.

I always have the urge to tidy up the poems that others write.

Although I don't even write poetry!

Kudos to you.

Midicon



posted on Jul, 30 2014 @ 03:08 PM
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a reply to: Maverick7

Thank you, always open for constructive criticism/feedback!


I was playing around with different formats after posting, the one you suggested flows really nicely.



a reply to: midicon

Thank you and feel free!!

Its a little of both, childhood, empathy and something happening right now.

a reply to: LucidLucinda

Thanks, Luce
See you Friday!!



posted on Jul, 30 2014 @ 09:06 PM
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a reply to: Jennyfrenzy

Wow frenzy ... Just wow...



posted on Jul, 30 2014 @ 09:17 PM
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originally posted by: Jennyfrenzy

I am drifting black with a rotten promise of suppressed sorrows
That each breath, each heartbeat, every footstep, delivers me closer to a beast

The foul scent of eucalyptus hangs in the air, welcoming me to this filthy place
Wind howling as I open the door, a sickening reminder...

As images echo, a monster lies in wait, hiding under a cloak of normal
But, at the edge of that disguise there is a tiny thread, and I tugged it

In the stale air, the disguise deteriorated, destroying the monsters power over the innocent
I saw the scars of lives destroyed littered across the face of a predator

And I told...


I'm trapped between these broken lines,
It's my mental stability that I couldn't find.
All this death and loss of innocence poisons my mind,
It got me on my knees and I cannot shine,
I wish I could rewind, back to the younger years.
I would try to take back everything I hold so dear, but I fear,
I can't get it back now.
Try to hold back my tears and I don't even know how.

S&F, Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

edit on 30-7-2014 by Rosinitiate because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 30 2014 @ 11:42 PM
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a reply to: natalia



*hugs*

a reply to: Rosinitiate

Beautiful!


Thanks for stopping by!!



posted on Aug, 22 2014 @ 03:29 PM
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a reply to: Rosinitiate

Have you submitted what you wrote to Jenny,
as a Poem in Short Stories? It is very good!!!




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