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When Life Is One Big Piece of Crap, Just Wait a Few Million Years.

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posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 01:12 AM

Dear ATSers,

I needed a break. No, I really, really needed a break. No other explanation necessary. Have fun. I want to see lots of jokes. Would you buy it? Would anyone? Why?

A gallery in Beverly Hills, California, is hoping someone might be willing to spend $10,000 on a piece of crap.

A lumpy fossil — billed as possibly the longest known specimen of ancient excrement — will hit the auction block next week at the I.M. Chait Gallery.

Measuring "an eye-watering 40 inches [102 centimeters] in length," the so-called coprolite could be up to 33 million years old, according to the auctioneers, who estimate that the fossilized specimen could fetch between $8,000 and $10,000.

"It boasts" — if a coprolite can boast of anything — "a wonderfully even, pale brown-yellow coloring and terrifically detailed texture to the heavily botryoidal surface across the whole of its immense length," the glowing description from the auction house reads. (A "botryoidal" surface is simply one with a lumpy texture. Tellingly, the word comes from the Greek word "botrys," meaning a bunch of grapes.)

Chait and his colleagues said they don't know what kind of creature passed the impressive load, which has been separated into four pieces and mounted on black marble. ("If you shipped in one piece it would for sure break," Chait said.)

With respect,

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 01:25 AM
Maybe Dulcolax should put in a bid.....

Talk about irregular. A new ad for Dulcolax laxative features turd-headed characters stuck in what appears to be an anal prison.

"Only you can set them free," the caption reads.

AdWeek wrote that the poop prisoners looked like "stinky love children of the Michelin Man and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Turdles)." At least they're cuter than the Golgothan excrement demon in Kevin Smith's "Dogma."

Either way, they're pretty icky.

The ads reportedly ran in Singapore newspapers and at bus stops. "Instead of approaching the dramatization from the patient's [point of view], we approached it from the excrement's," the agency behind the campaign, McCann Health, said in the trade publication.

I feel your pain Charles. I too, get silly when it's past bedtime.

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 01:29 AM
a reply to: charles1952
Impressive, assuming it's the real deal and not made recently in China.

I guess if people pay for fossils, then why no fossilized dung?

Who knows, perhaps one day science can do tests on it with interesting results, such as the exact species, or whether they were cannibals.

Maybe they could even clone something back from dung?

I've often wondered whether modern peoples who claim ancient skeletal remains as their ancestors also claim back the samples of coprolite?
It may sound flippant, but after all, it is material that actually moved through the body of a living being.

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 01:30 AM
a reply to: charles1952

I know that turd has a deeper meaning.

Anyway ... saw this and thought of you:

An old man was tired from riding his bike, and decided to hitch hike. A guy in his red Corvette pulled up to give him a lift. When the old man brought out his bike that he had leaned up against a tree, the driver said, "I have no room for your bike in my car, but I'd like to help you in someway seeing you standing here in the hot sun."

After a few seconds of thought, the driver said, "I know what we can do. I have a rope behind my seat. I'll tie one end of it to the rear end of my car and the other end to the front your bike. You ride your bike, and I'll give you this whistle. If I go too fast for you, just blow your whistle and I'll slow down."

The old guy agreed to it. So off he went down the highway with the old man and his bike in tow. A little ways down the rode, a young lady in a bright yellow corvette pulls up next to them. She gives the guy in the red Vette the High Sign, meaning "you want a drag?"

Off they go down the highway, 100 plus MPH, the old man blowing his whistle like crazy. They zipped by a Highway Patrol cop sitting under a tree. The cop knew he couldn't catch them, so he called ahead to his fellow cop down the road to intercept. "Car number 2, this is car number 1." "Go head number 1 ... What'cha got for me?" I got a red and yellow Vettes coming your way doing a hundred plus, can you intercept?" "Ten-four, Is there anything else?"

"Yeah, you won't believe this, but there is an old guy riding a bicycle blowing his whistle trying to pass."

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 01:36 AM
And in dinosaur heaven, there is a fellow laughing himself silly. His mate walks up and says, "What's so funny?"

"The little humans are having an auction for a piece of poop. It's mine. It was the longest one I ever pooped out! I'm famous! One dinos poop is another species treasure!"


posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 01:49 AM
Italian "artist" Pierro Manzoni sealed his feces in tins. One of them sold for 124,000 Euros, over $166,000 in 2007. Go figure.

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 01:53 AM
I'm surprised that Ken Ham and the Creationist Museum weren't interested.

It could be proof that Adam and Eve frequently rode their dinosaurs to fast-food restaurants 6000 years ago.

Looks a bit constipated for a natural diet, if one wanted to pursue that argument.

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 02:20 AM
It represents the LONG ARM of the Law!!!
Its sh.tifull

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 02:23 AM
a reply to: charles1952

That piece of crap has no validity ,,, has there been any peer review

Randy Marsh holds the record with over 100 Kg

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 02:23 AM
Thank you all. I really needed that. The world is fine again, and I can get some rest (it's after 2 a.m. here).

And a special thanks to Kangareux4ewe and Snarl for thinking of me. I couldn't cope with even one more Palestine post today.

(You know, that constipated thought is interesting. What the &*#$$ ? I just said that constipated, fossilized poop was interesting! What is wrong in my brain???)

I can't wait to see this thread in the morning.

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 03:34 AM

originally posted by: skunkape23
Italian "artist" Pierro Manzoni sealed his feces in tins. One of them sold for 124,000 Euros, over $166,000 in 2007. Go figure.

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 05:41 AM
a reply to: charles1952

Still not a patch on the scene from wierd science.

Don't forget Howard Hughes was convinced he was being poisoned so kept his urine and feacies in jars in his wardrobe so they could be tested if he died or if he found a doctor he could trust, personally I think he was right but he had crossed the line when he got involved with the DOD in america and they wanted control off of him at any cost, never mind he had built the business up as they wanted it and they got it with there man in charge.

edit on 29-7-2014 by LABTECH767 because: (no reason given)

posted on Jul, 29 2014 @ 06:22 AM
a reply to: charles1952

Now we know what politicians will look like 33 million years from now.

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