Right now my formula is like this:
I still seek what i like, and avoid what i don't like
example: I like to be with my family, i seek it. I don't like the idea of seeing my dog being ran over, so i avoid it.
I could give millions of examples.
So i don't deny choices, preferences, likes and dislikes, i still have a route, i still have a path, preferences give me a way.
I'm not saying i truly control my life, that's another question i wont address right now.
The freedom point is this: although I do not abdicate preferences, i truly accept what life is at the moment.
I may even want to remove the event that is causing me bad vibes (i know its my reaction to it that generate the bad vibes but it doesn't matter, i`m
beyond that) but as long as the event is present it is accepted.
Examples: something happens and it gives me bad vibes. I try to remove the event but i cant, or i haven't made it yet. I wont try to defend myself
from the bad vibes through rationalizing it like: oh its fine, this event has a very good side to it, if i think about it, its good, its a lesson, i
will get tougher etc etc.
I WILL NOT TRY TO RESIST IT by making good judgement of it.
Positive thoughts to fight bad vibes are just a way to reject, to avoid, they create energy stagnation. You might even feel some relief but in the
long run they create suffering and pain because they are an inner conflict. I wont accept bad vibes so i will fight them with positive affirmations,
NLP etc etc. Its just a form to block energy.There is no flow, there is conflict.
No, this time, i will accept what the event is making me feel, i will not try to run away from it with positive thinking because that's just a fearful
reaction: oh no, bad vibes again, run, hide, defend yourself, rationalize it, apply positive thinking, kill it!
This is rejection of a part of life, this is resistance, this is inner conflict, this will create energy stagnation and disease.
Why don't i just be a courageous adult and take it, accept it, just live it.
I don't have to be so attached to the white (good vibes) and avoid the black (bad vibes).
Its all part of life. If i reject the bad feelings they will accumulate in my unconscious and they will return stronger.
So the secret is, i make my choices, i seek what i like and try to avoid what i don't like but always accept what is happening both internally and
Acceptance is the key, non-resistance, just surrender to the now, witness it and surrender to it.
I don't have to give up on my will and my choices but i adapt to life, flow with it, accept it.
Imagine you are walking, the road is moving all the time. Sometimes it goes left, other times it goes right. No matter what your wishes are, if the
road is going left but you insist in going straight, you will knock your head on the wall or you will go off-road.
We don't really control like, life is happening, even your wishes, your likes and dislikes, they happen, you don't choose them.
We don't choose what we are. You chose to buy an ice cream, you chose strawberry. But did you really chose to like it? You are like that... You didn't
choose to like girls or boys, you are like that... And its your likes and dislikes, that you didn't choose, that determine your choices. So wheres
your free will? Why are you a good person? Did you choose to be nice? Why aren't you like a serial killer? Did you choose to be a good boy? Life
happens, you happen.
So our ability to control life is very weak, its better to always flow with it, accept whats happening, even if you want to change it, you have to
accept it while it lasts and most importantly recognize and accept what it makes you feel. Who knows, maybe you will find out that bad feelings are
not so bad after all, as long as you don't run from them.
I know this is a widely disclosed theory (Echart Tolle, Buddhism, many authors) but i just felt like sharing it with my own words.
edit on 27-7-2014 by Manula because: (no reason given)