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Emotions are taboo, so shut up and deal with it

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posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 11:28 AM
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Get a dog.
You will never have a more loyal loving friend.




posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 11:37 AM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

To heck with what other people think! Always be yourself, you are the person that you have to live with for the rest of your life! Realize that your ability to feel emotion and want to express it is a good thing regardless of other people's reactions. Know that it keeps you from turning into another unfeeling, non thinking robot. Be unique and passionate and embrace your eccentricities, be the beautiful you that you are!! ((((((Hugs)))))))



posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 11:41 AM
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If you feel you have to change who and what you are to gain friends...you're looking for the wrong type of people. Maybe re-evaluate your life-status and/or location? If you are in the city, move to the country...if you're wealthy, downsize. That kinda thing. I'm sure there are others out there who would appreciate your company. You're just looking (or living) in the wrong place. My humble opinion but based upon some experience. I grew up in NJ and moved to the mountains in PA. Different life-style and easier people to befriend...at least for me.



posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 01:05 PM
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Be yourself or you will attract the wrong people. By being yourself, you will then find yourself surrounded with like-minded people. There's many out there who will like you for who you are. You sound a lot like me. I'm guilty of worrying a little about what people think, but over the last ten years or so, now, I only care maybe 25% of the time what people think. I wish it was zero all the time.
Just dance like nobody's watching. That's how I teach my kids to approach life. To never sit out at a dance or to sit out while other kids play. Get out there and do your thing or you will have a lot of regrets when you get older. I've found that getting my kids to play ball has really helped them be more comfortable in their own skin and has given them a lot of confidence. If you're in okay physical shape then join a local softball team. It's so much fun, you meet new friends and you get good exercise. If not, then find something that you can do that will heal your mind.
Sitting around doing nothing all while being cynical all the time will get you nowhere, but going out and doing things while cynical is a blast!!! I hope you get what I'm saying here. Don't live in the shadows. You deserve better.
edit on 25-7-2014 by Fylgje because: to add



posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 01:29 PM
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originally posted by: xizd1
Get a dog.
You will never have a more loyal loving friend.


Seriously, this is good advice as well. My son borders on the autistic spectrum and has trouble with social interactions and when I got him a dog his whole attitude has changed. That simple loving companionship does wonders. The added bonus? Dogs won't judge you for being emotional, they just reciprocate. Love them and they'll love you back, be sad around one you have had for awhile, and I almost guarantee that they will sense it and cheer you right up. It may not be a direct solution to your issue, but it will give you a darn fine (imo) coping mechanism. A friend who will never be bothered by you sharing.

I personally am in a similar situation myself. Circumstances are different but the isolation both emotionally and socially are parallelled. Divorced father of two young kids, makes it hard to have any social interactions. I have pushed away most if not all my family during my failed marriage. Friends became non-existent less than a year into my relationship. After nine years the self distancing and isolating became more than habit it was just my "normal". Thats how I know beyond all shadow of doubt that my relationship was unhealthy. I became such a terrible person to be around that the people who once were closest to me are now the furthest away.


TL;DR Get a dog, it'll help you deal with things at least.
edit on 25-7-2014 by CellDamage420 because: Added personal exp.



posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 03:36 PM
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a reply to: ATODASO



most people aren't going to be ok with listening to you talk about your negative feelings.they'll feel imposed upon, uncomfortable, and resentful.




there's also a middle way between shutting down and withdrawing and overshare. try asking people about themselves, not only does it take your focus off of your own problems, it helps you connect with and understand other people.


You know whats funny about that? The persons you ask about themselves then go fully into telling you all of their health, financial and Friend,family problems...and thats ok...but not ok if you respond with some of your own!

You know those ADULT types?



it's not always easy to own and manage your emotions, but it's part of being an adult.


They have no idea what a two way street is! If you can't share your thoughts and feelings with someone you are close enough to have personal conversation with you are better off without them it means they have no real interest in who you are or how you feel...personally I am never lonely I have learned to prefer my own company.



posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 05:21 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl




I also love and accept others unconditionally.


People say this a lot and I am not sure what it means, I can certainly love and do love people (family) unconditionally but I don't accept all of them as people who I will be around...I will not accept that they ok in my book.

I will not have an alcoholic or drug addict around me, as alcohol caused my Father to die at 42 and be abusive when drunk and ruined our lives, my Brother died at age 42 from drugs and I know that they are hurting themselves but it is ridiculous to say they "are only" hurting themselves as they hurt everyone!

I will not be around anyone who is hateful of any race for any reason nor is into pornography as it causes horrific abuse of girls and women or anyone who will hurt a child in any way....I am very judgemental true but I cannot and will not accept these people.



posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 10:12 PM
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a reply to: Char-Lee

You're making it very hard on yourself. You've had bad luck with your family and childhood, and I know how scarring that can be. But being judgemental and exclusive in your relationships is a strategy based on fear. And fear will imprison you and destroy your life just as surely as alcohol or drug abuse.

The key to life is to give up being afraid. When you find you can do that, the world opens up like a flower, and its nectar will be sweet on your tongue. Start by being kind to others and refusing to judge them; even that takes courage, as I'm sure you know already.

'Unconditional love' is just the loyalty we owe to those who share our lives closely; that, and the recognition that, if we cease to love those who are most important to us, it means we have ceased to love ourselves.



posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 10:41 PM
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originally posted by: Char-Lee

You know whats funny about that? The persons you ask about themselves then go fully into telling you all of their health, financial and Friend,family problems...and thats ok...but not ok if you respond with some of your own!

You know those ADULT types?


hey, i'm distressed to see that my post seems to have upset you so much. it was only my intention to be helpful. in my personal experience, good friends and acquaintances talk about a lot of stuff, like shared interests, tv, current events, how their day has gone, etc. it's amazing what you can learn about another person through simple interactions. talking about heavy stuff has it's place, but it's not always the best way to go for establishing new connections.

that doesn't nessecarily mean people are shallow or inconsiderate, it usually indicates good boundaries and healthy socialization.



They have no idea what a two way street is! If you can't share your thoughts and feelings with someone you are close enough to have personal conversation with you are better off without them it means they have no real interest in who you are or how you feel...personally I am never lonely I have learned to prefer my own company.


that's a shame, no one deserves to be lonely. we all need to be connected to other people, it's just best to recognize that there are degrees of connection, and therefore degrees of appropriate disclosure. anyway, i hope you have a good weekend, and no offense intended.




posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 11:34 PM
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I showed my true colors to some people i thought were friends recently, i lost all of them.

Some times it really is better to "smile and wave" and hold it all in. Thats sad but possibly is in fact a better idea than to speak your mind and be the person you feel in side, which is really weird because everyone always says "be you", what if the real you is a bit of a psychopath? Do you let that out?



posted on Jul, 25 2014 @ 11:46 PM
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a reply to: Biigs


I showed my true colors to some people i thought were friends recently, i lost all of them.

This may be a strong hint that you need to change your colours.



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 12:25 AM
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To everyone in the thread, thanks for your time and attention.

But I need to clarify something after reviewing some of your responses. I guess I failed to correctly articulate myself in the OP.

When I speak of expression and emotion, I'm not talking about throwing my heart against the wall or about crying in the bathtub naked kind of emotions. I'm not talking about deepest, darkest secrets and fantasies at all. I'm well aware that these things rarely, rarely have a place in typical interaction.

When I speak of emotions being taboo, I mean on a very superficial level of expression.

I'm talking about how when we complain of school, work, and our lives people tell us to "suck it up!"...Or when we have good news to share, they can't really muster much enthusiasm for that either.

I'm speaking about how when we talk about our goals, ambitions, and disappointments people stare wide-eyed as if to say, "Why are you telling me this crap that has nothing to do with me?"...Or when asked, people react like, "This is none of your business."

I'm speaking about how any expression that exceeds the character limit of a tweet is usually frowned upon and discarded because it's a waste of other peoples' most precious and valuable time.

I'm really talking about a very practical and fundamental thing here. I'm talking about, "Hi, I'd like to share this song with you because it makes me feel like _____," or even, "Hi, I think you might like reading this book because I know how you feel about _____." ...Some people react like you're asking them to donate half of their liver to you.

This very basic need is wholly lacking in my life (I'm not the only one,) and I can't figure it out. I'm saying to consider yourself lucky if you have this need met; not to take it for granted because, though we are social creatures, not everyone gets this same sense of worth, reciprocity, and fulfillment. I can think of no greater pain to endure than loneliness and disconnect.

I hope this makes more sense now.


edit on 26-7-2014 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 12:49 AM
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a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha


I'm speaking about how when I talk about my goals, ambitions, and disappointments people stare wide-eyed as if to say, "Why are you telling me this crap that has nothing to do with me?"...Or when asked, people react like, "This is none of your business."

Understood. But don't you understand why they react like that? It's indecent, as well as very bad manners, to discuss such things. Why? Because it leads to confrontation and possible violence. It is also information that can be used to take advantage of others. Such things are not for sharing except with your life partner, and even then, only on suitable occasions. If you want to express your feelings, paint or sculpt or write or make music or dance. That is what art is for.

As another poster said, it's amazing what you can learn about others from chat about superficial, trivial things. In fact, it's all you need: we're evolved to participate in this kind of 'grooming behaviour' and to take our social cues from it. Save the heavy emotional stuff for your diary, or do what you're doing right now, and vent anonymously on the Web.


edit on 26/7/14 by Astyanax because: of a little decency.



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 12:55 AM
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originally posted by: Astyanax
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
Such things are not for sharing except with your life partner

How exactly do you meet a life partner by sticking to only the superficial and trivial tidbits of conversation? Very intriguing notion!

Save the heavy emotional stuff for your diary

I'm sorry but, did you even read all of my post above?

If the only avenue of expression at all is my diary and my sculpture, then what is the point of even going outside my door?

I guess I woke up in the twilight zone again.



edit on 26-7-2014 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 01:05 AM
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originally posted by: Astyanax
a reply to: Biigs


I showed my true colors to some people i thought were friends recently, i lost all of them.

This may be a strong hint that you need to change your colours.


im 31, ive been hiding a lot and its worked out fine.

Its not about being some sort of covert maniac, i never had a problem before and no one had a clue. I let it out once, and i got a lot of abuse and lost a few good friends.

So i simply wont do that again, its not lying its simply not being as open as "you should" be able to, but i guess im just not a nice person some how. It worked for that long so i will just go back to that.
edit on b1313152 by Biigs because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 01:08 AM
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You might get offended but it seems like you want to be friends with crappy people. Remember people suck. The vast majority are all stupid and shallow. They mainline reality tv straight to the vains. They think tweeting is the highest form of art. Screw those people.

Here is what you do. Just be yourself and keep being yourself and keep being yourself. The masses will ignore you or hate you and call you weird. So what. Do you really want to be those peoples friends just so you can say you have friends. Eventually you will find someone who loves you for you.

Not right away but you will. If you put on a mask you will eventually have to take it off. So dont put one on. It will be hard. You will cry alot. You will feel pain. You will probably go through dark days and contemplate ending it. But keep being yourself. Keep pushing until you find that one person who will love you for you forever. When you find that person you will start to heal. They will probably have gone through the same darkness that you have. Ignore the noise man, ignore the noise.

There are no quick easy answers. No one can just tell you something and all of a sudden everything changes. Because you are awesome life will be hard. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 01:16 AM
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a reply to: Biigs

Biigs, I had a reply for you, but I feel it'd be better to U2U.


edit on 26-7-2014 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 01:37 AM
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originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: Biigs

Biigs, I had a reply for you, but I feel it'd be better to U2U.



You're honestly right and abnormal behavior in my opinion makes you more normal than most.

humans are a bit messed up, who wants to be a placid, uninteresting bland zombie.

I think people with issues lets say are FAR more interesting - just dont be a dangerous criminal, dont hurt anyone. freedom of speech means you can be weird and say stuff, but you should be accepted for who you are and given room to express yourself.

i never hurt anyone in my life, but if i express an opinion, within the accepted range of thought, i should never be excluded. Say a bad a thing, get told its not acceptable, simply dont say anything again. Chastising somone and ignoring them, is just as bad as the bad thing you said.
edit on b5454159 by Biigs because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 01:40 AM
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a reply to: Biigs

We live in a society where the slightest deviation from what's expected and "normal" is stigmatized as a disorder and a danger. Who sets this standard for normal? Now there's a conspiracy




edit on 26-7-2014 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 26 2014 @ 01:51 AM
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originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
a reply to: Biigs

We live in a society where the slightest deviation from what's expected and "normal" is stigmatized as a disorder and a danger. Who sets this standard for normal? Now there's a conspiracy





You are right but it is no conspiracy. The fact is you are different. I am different. Biiggs is different. Most people on here are different. That is why we are on here instead of glued to a tv being dumb. I have been through what you are going through. Almost exactly the same. I am still standing and most of the people who were against me are all unhappy and robots. I won in the end. You will too. Life is a struggle worth fighting for.
edit on 26-7-2014 by karmicecstasy because: (no reason given)



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