21 days: No complaining challenge

I've just recently heard of this. I'm going to try. But is it not difficult to whine about the world's condition? Especially here, on the internet. Arm-chair warriors as they call it?

Is this technique just a way to ignore what is going on? Or could it be mentally healthy for you?

Here are a few of the changes I noticed then and am noticing again now:

1) My lazier thinking evolved from counterproductive commiserating to reflexive systems thinking. Each description of a problem forced me to ask and answer: What policy can I create to avoid this in the future?

2) I was able to turn off negative events because the tentative solution had be offered instead of giving them indefinite mental shelf-life (and "open loop" in GTD parlance), resulting in better sleep and more pleasant conversations with both friends and business partners.

3) People want to be around action-oriented problem solvers. Training yourself to offer solutions on-the-spot attracts people and resources.

Huffington Post

Ignore the parts where they try to sell stuff to you.

a reply to: thirdcoast

Great Idea! I'm sure I can do this if it wan't so hard...gheeesh, I will try with you.

I have tried to do this but it never works, after about 3-4 days something gets to me and I need you rant about it on anti-social media. I also tried the whole reverse psychology thing to where I would say how happy I am and how wonderful the world is--people just saw thru it (or asked what drugs I was on and how much for them).

Maybe I just predisposed to complaining, my father was born in the UK so that may explain it.

originally posted by: zazzafrazz
a reply to: thirdcoast

Great Idea! I'm sure I can do this if it wan't so hard...gheeesh, I will try with you.

hey, stop complaining that it's too hard.

a reply to: weirdguy

a reply to: thirdcoast

I think setting your sights a bit lower to start off would be helpful.

What I did, as a start, was in traffic when someone did something that I would response to with a mental "you sh*tHead" or the like, I'd stop and back up (mentally) and wish that person a "safe and serene" journey. Still do it to this day. It helps a lot. More situations can be added as you get the hang of it.

Good Luck.

a reply to: thirdcoast

Started doing this a few days ago, not for 21 days, just making a general effort to not complain...

The first day was Hunter S Thompson's birthday... I ended up being given a very special "gift" which would have been applauded by Mr Thompson, and it was given to me by someone I just met who happened to be a very cool person, and a good person to know as well... A marine from California.

Then that same morning (I was still awake and feeling like a million bucks) I get a message from a good friend who was being abused and had to leave her home immediately... I welcomed her to stay at my house without hesitation.

My girlfriend broke up with me three times that day because of it... but adhering to my effort to not complain/react negatively, i stayed cool and let her realize for herself that i was doing nothing but helping my friend in an emergency... Eventually my GF came around and admitted she was proud of me for helping... And all is well.

My friend has since found a permanent place to stay.

Today I was picked as "FB fan" of the day at Epic Deli in Fox Lake IL and got a free sandwich worth ten bucks. While up there I ended up getting ANOTHER beautiful and random "gift" from someone I hadn't seen in years (exactly along the lines of the first one I mentioned)

I say the non complaining pact is definitely a good idea. I used to be quite involved with regular zen practice... And that feeling/clarity is very similar to when you catch yourself about to complain and consciously guide yourself away from it.

Keep it up!!!

a reply to: FyreByrd

wierd you said that because i've been thinking a bit lately about my road rage. i've been getting better at controlling it, but god damn..... so many zombies on the road

great idea and brilliant find

Im in for two weeks, after that I'll be on holiday with no source material

I'll be back with results - actually feeling really good about this

a reply to: thirdcoast

This whole idea sounds great on paper, but I don't think it will work for everyone. It reminds me of an episode of "Malcolm in the Middle", where Malcolm decides to stop complaining because it's driving everyone around him crazy. So, as the episode goes on, people are starting to really like Malcolm. They think he's so polite, so responsive, everyone is actually happy to be around him. But, because he doesn't vent, he ends up coughing up a lot of blood because he has a huge stomach ulcer.

Personally, I am a complainer. I understand that the reason I do it is because it helps me release pent up energy/frustration. I do try to complain in a funny way, so I can at least make people around me laugh(which normally works, I've even had people tell me I should go on youtube with my rants, and these are people you'd never expect to enjoy my rantings). People also like to come to me with their complaints, because I honestly don't mind listening to them. I mean, it's only fair for a complainer to listen to others complaints. XD

I honestly feel that complaining is actually helpful to release steam. If anyone tries this, and it works out for them, kudos! But I don't think it will work for many. There's just too much stuff in the world that's stupid, and I feel it's more healthy to vent about it, than to bottle it up.

a reply to: thirdcoast

I find traffic to be one of my best teachers - living in the City of Angels and all. It really helps, but does take lots of practise.

Helps me slow down too (internally not necessarily physically). That feeling of rush you get in traffic or at work or ...... It just causes all sorts of mistakes and pain....

Im almost past the first 24 hour mark of this and It works reall well, even my children seem more relaxed. It's this kind of zen bubble that makes nothing to much trouble. Thanks again OP