Well, I wanted to start a thread about the movie, asking for feedback from people who might have seen it.
I mourn the loss of Charlie Hunnam in the lead, thinking of boycotting it. Yesterday was "I am Charlie", I'm moving onto "I want Charlie".
But this thread is on a totally different slant- why did these books get so popular???
I will dare to be the hated one out here- I liked the books. I didn't think I would, the subject matter seemed so stupid to me, but was surprised to
find it touching some internal nerves (and I don't just mean physical).
I think it is interesting to consider it as an exposé of the feminine mind. The comments about it being for women who "don't get enough orgasms"
is ironic, when one of the repeated plays in it is bringing her to the brink of orgasm- then stopping.
I think it illustrated many womens desires to get past their sexual inhibitions, but also to experience not being selfless all the time. Women in
America, especially, are so conditioned to try to please and seduce their mates, they dream of being able to be selfish, sit back and have someone
else bring them sandwiches in front of the tv. To not have to do or be anything special- be desired just as they are, and just -enjoy.
Yeah, I am sure many women will argue on that point...
But like me, I bet they will still have repulsive reactions to women who practice libertinism, wondering why they "give themselves out to
strangers"? I still have trouble wrapping my head around what they told me when I asked- "We don't "give out" anything! We are taking
pleasure for ourselves, that's all!"
It is the concept of vulnerability that it comes down to for me... having intimate sexual exchange makes me feel vulnerable, and I can't trust just
anyone in that state.
The point that Christian is painted as a very powerful man, with lots of money and influence and a strong character is an important factor in that
issue- the fantasy goes beyond sex itself. It is the fantasy of power balanced with responsibility.
Don't we all wish we could have (or be) a boss, a President, who could wield extreme power faced with others, and yet NOT become corrupt, NOT abuse
that, NOT take advantage of the vulnerability of those in his/her charge???
Someone we could rely on, trust, under all circumstances... even ....blindfolded?
The whole SM thing we witness in that book isn't about being hurt or abused- it helps to read it before judging that.
The games were focused on making the woman feel vulnerable, sometimes aware of her fear of potential suffering, and being surprised with pleasure
I found the book, and it's popularity, quite fascinating in terms of taking the pulse of a culture, and of deeper psychological conflicts with desire
I think it would be worth it for any young man, who misreads women enough to say things like "women just want to be abused" or "they always want
the guys who hurt them" to read it and perhaps understand better. They've got it backwards.
Anyway, I'm zipping up the flame suit now.
Has anyone seen it yet?