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INCOMING !! Extinction Level Event.

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posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 04:31 AM
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That’s right people it’s all butt over. Incoming arsteroid EG13 will see the end of us all.

As you can see from SpacedoutWeather.com, EG13 has a Ludicrous Disaster (LD) rating of 99.9 on a scale of 0-100, Oh whoa is us.



On hearing of the imminence of EG13’s arrival I contacted Dr Luigi Fartssosmelli who is a gAstronomer at the Institute of gAstronomy situated in northern Italy just outside of the small town of Betta-Getoutather.

“Certainly this is an Eggstinktion event” said Dr Fartssosmelli. Sadly these were the only words I could make out through his broken Englishi.

Considering the magnitude of EG13’s potential Dr Fartssosmelli contacted the Italian Government who promptly put out a country wide alert, the following image demonstrates the mass panic that ensued.



By all Italian standards, this is nothing short of bedlam. The cop has obviously been briefed well, as I do believe he is pointing in the right direction of the predicted pronouncement.

Anyway, moving swiftly along, I have used my EYESCANSEE2020, a highly developed and top secret telescope, to try and provide an image of EG13, and here it is. It’s a little grainy, but I’m sure you get the idea.



That’s right folks, it looks like a curried egg salad and as far as I can determine it’s well curried.

CURRIED EGG SALAD, “for the love of god”, I said to the missus, “have you any idea what you’ve just done?”. But it’s too late, its’ made.

We’re having a Barbie tomorrow and as far as I’ve been told, the Curried Egg Salad will be used. I’ve tried to explain to the missus that the UNCESC (United Nations Curried Egg Salad Commission) require 2 months notification, PRIOR, to compiling such a beast. Obviously there’s been a serious breach of protocol here and where it ends up, who knows? All I can say is God save us, and importantly me.

I’m sure when this news gets out the real doom porn will start.

God help you all.

Kind Regards & Don’t blame me.
Myselfaswell

P.S, This was the most appropriate forum I could find for this, however if you feel like a movement, bowel or otherwise, I'm sure it'll be the right thing.




posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 04:40 AM
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Where is it predicted to hit the earth?

That's just about enough time to say, "I love you" to your loved ones and kiss your rear end good bye.



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 04:43 AM
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I think this should be in the
'Jokes, puns & pranks' forum...



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 04:45 AM
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Even Bruce Willis couldn't stop a curried egg salad.



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 04:59 AM
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a reply to: MichiganSwampBuck

Expect the first waves from Queensland, Australia. If, however there are others emanating from elsewhere around the planet, I'm not sure of the wave interference thingy and the repercussions.

Best of Luck
Myselfaswell



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:00 AM
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originally posted by: Imagewerx
Even Bruce Willis couldn't stop a curried egg salad.


Oh the stress of knowing we're all going to die so soon.

I was so hoping there would still be enough time for our Dear Bruce to make one more movie....I have a crush on him ...



Oh the agony...this even overshadows the eggstravaganza of the end we are all going to meet...goodby my Dear Bruce...yes, it was me peaking through your blinds late last night....farewell my love...


Des





edit on 11-7-2014 by Destinyone because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:02 AM
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a reply to: Destinyone

Ah, the end of days. Who would have thought it'd be this way ?

Stay low with nose pinched,
Myselfaswell



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:02 AM
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And me out of beer .. hmph.. bad timing .. how about reschedule till after restock my beer supply ..



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:04 AM
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no S&F from me because I honestly feel your use of the words gAstronomer [SIC] and gAstronomy [SIC] were not intended as puns.
en.wiktionary.org...
www.memidex.com...



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:05 AM
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a reply to: Expat888

Sorry Pat, I'm no Bruce Willis, this is beyond me now.



That's the best I can do.

Nose Plugs man, get them in.
Myselfaswell



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:06 AM
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a reply to: PLAYERONE01

As per the expected gAS, lighten up bro.

Kind Regards
Myselfaswell



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:08 AM
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i really enjoy the read -

i know that last statement is too short so i'm going to extend the response by adding lines of verbiage to my response in order that i stay within T&C!

S&F



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:12 AM
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a reply to: myselfaswell

On the bright side am inland and on high ground .. got the old surfboard waxed up ready to catch the big wave so not all is lost ..

edit on 11/7/14 by Expat888 because: typo..



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:13 AM
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Arseteroid.... made me chuckkle



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:13 AM
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originally posted by: myselfaswell
a reply to: Destinyone

Ah, the end of days. Who would have thought it'd be this way ?

Stay low with nose pinched,
Myselfaswell


Screw low and slow...gonna go out in a blaze of spin n' grin...inverted oil and fuel rules...


Des

edit on 11-7-2014 by Destinyone because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:14 AM
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originally posted by: myselfaswell
P.S, This was the most appropriate forum I could find for this, however if you feel like a movement, bowel or otherwise, I'm sure it'll be the right thing.

I'm thinking Jokes, Puns & Pranks may be a slightly better fit than General Conspiracies (though perhaps with a little less "impact"), so here we are.



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:18 AM
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a reply to: Majic

But...but...but...does this mean you don't believe the OP. Man...we're all gonna die. Don't you get it...we got a real warning this time.

Des...



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:20 AM
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a reply to: Expat888

Hot air man, just sayin about that high ground.

Cheers
MSAW



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:23 AM
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a reply to: Destinyone

Clearly the first movement was bowel. Then the thread. Naivete, the mods just don't get it sometimes


I'm just sayin, low ground should be your MO.

Kind Regards
Myselfaswell



posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 05:43 AM
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I'm going to drink and screw like the world is going to end. Just in case.




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