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Death – For The Record

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posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 01:36 AM
So – as many members have shown a sincere interest in the subject, I have wondered at ‘why’ we have so little/few 1st person accounts.

The younger you are, the less you think about it…generally…

The older you get…the more it demands…your…consideration.

2 ½ years ago, my father passed.
It was, perhaps, a little different (for me) than many/most experience…and, on that note, I’ll give some detail…

The day after his 80th birthday – which was likewise – one week after Father’s Day…he had a stroke.

My parents had moved to the same town I moved to 6 years earlier…and…I received the call to come to the hospital.

Upon arrival, an Emergency Room Physician was starting to address the family…
He’s had a stroke, and also a heart attack that has damaged the heart severely…”
I didn’t get the ‘severe heart attack’ portion, then…as the doctor had a fairly intense “Indian” accent… But – I got the gist – “If he will stick to the prescribed regimen, he can/may live well for a number of years on…”.

One year and one month later…while seeming to have been improving markedly…he…had another stroke.
I was called again to…the Emergency Room…

The same Emergency Room Doctor (who was also a Cardiologist) was addressing the family – “He hasn’t been taking the prescribed meds, and…blood-clots have caused another severe stroke…and…because of his Living Will stating that he desires no ‘resuscitating measures’…we will be sending him home…(to die)”…

Hospice was arranged.
My brother, who was out of state, was called…and, he acquired employee-leave to visit.
My sister, who lived a few doors down the street…was in regular attendance.
As a business owner (CEO & President), with intense obligations to numerous employees, etc…, I was generally only capable of going to see him after hours…
But…over the following days, I couldn’t tell if everything was going as it had the previous year (with him seeming to improve gradually), or not…

Here’s a little history/context…to help the next part to make any sense…to most…

I was raised in one of the most extreme forms of Christianity that is in evidence, today…
You may have no idea what that is…and, there’s little use in going into a full-blown explanation…so, I’ll just say that…it’s about one degree milder than…‘Snake-Handlers’ (if that rings no bell/s – think – Christian Jihadists).
My dad (and thus, my entire family and upbringing) was so entrenched in this view of Life that…EveryOneElse was…The Bad Guy
It was so intense that…as a child…I was not allowed to visit ANY (with one exception, and…only ONCE) of the children in ANY of the towns, schools or congregations we were involved with (14 towns in my first 14 years)…because – of ALL of them…there was only ONE family, with children my age, that he approved of…and...those children, were…of the opposite sex.

5 years prior to my dad’s first stroke, I disengaged from said religion.
3 years prior to the first stroke, I began writing & publicly/online-blogging of said disengagement, and the questions that both led me to, and emanated from said disengagement.
Those ‘writings’ became the subject of some fairly pssst pssst conversations among family members, that did not involve me…and eventually (surreptitiously) resulted in a “Family Meeting”, where the conversation was directed such that the Patriarch would be allowed to answer what each and every other member of the family had not been able to address past – “What are you saying?!?!”.
This conversation took place in April, 2008…
I posed a couple of questions…
His answers were “Catch 22’s” – circular arguments…
I bowed out of the conversation, when it was obvious that he would not be honest (or – He Did Not Know How To Address The Questions, Honestly)…
And…from that time on…I chose to be as un-offensive…as possible.

(cont'd next post)

posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 01:37 AM
(cont'd from first post)

So… … …a week and a half into the Hospice-process…my brother was sitting with him, one day, when he (my Dad) grew angry at the lousy service he was receiving from my brother (my brother & his wife were not preparing food as well as my Dad thought appropriate)…
My brother, in defense, said – “Do you even know why I, and everyone-else is here?”.
My father, in utter confusion at the response, replied – “No.”
My brother said – “You’re dying!”
Shock filled my father’s face…and, he said – “God Is Able!”
My bro’ responded – “Maybe so – but – if God doesn’t do something quick – You’re going to die!”
My dad tried to demonstrate his Belief…and failed, miserably…into my brother’s arms…
From that moment…my father began failing at an accelerated pace.
I came to see him the following evening, after work…
My bro’ and sis’ were both in the room with him…
They were both seated across the room from his bed…talking, and talking to him…
I walked to his bedside, took his right hand, and stood beside him…while they continued talking.
One of them said – “Daddy… All three of your hoodlums are here…”
He didn’t seem to notice me…
He looked at them as if to question the last comment…
My bro’ said – “All three of your children are here. Me, R’M’, and WanDash is holding your hand.”
I was looking at him…and, when attention was called to me…his eyes came up to meet mine, and he gasped and jerked… … …as if I were… … … … (his greatest fear…?) …I don’t know what… …?
He was definitely surprised/shocked/frightened…
…I don’t know.

That was, literally, the last time I had any kind of contact with him…aside from ‘being there’.

For the next two days…every time I was at his bedside, his eyes were shut, and his breathing seemed to consume the whole of his attention, effort and being.

Sunday night…very late…I received a call – “You better come over, now…”
I did…
I sat at the foot of his bed, in a room filled with all members of the immediate family…as he went through some extreme demonstrations of unbelievably exhaustive breathing.
I don’t see how he…in any state of consciousness…could have been cognizant of our presence or conversation/s…but…

Two hours into this exercise…I stepped outside to smoke.
My brother joined me…to talk.
He let me know that he questioned some aspects of our dogma…but…did not broach the subject of any of my questions…and…after about 20 minutes outside…we returned to the room.

Upon returning…we immediately noticed a dramatic change in the breathing exercises…
They had slowed markedly…
Within 30 minutes, he’d taken his last.

After my mother took the first couple of minutes…saying “Goodbye”, and “I wasn’t ready for this”…I took his hand and shed tears and wished that all his Hopes…were true
…and…my entire life of war with this man…resolved to Love and Regret.
Not so much Regret that I had done him wrong, or wished I’d done better…but – Regret that his beliefs and wishes…had…ended…here.

So sorry that, at some point, he’d had to bow his neck…when he’d believed & proclaimed (to the top of his voice) otherwise…

All of this…
…to wonder…
Is it… …
…possible… …
someone… … …exiting this life
…would be capable of
…recording/dictating their thoughts, impressions, revelations, experiences
…through the final stages &/or moments… ?

“Hospice” has put together a compelling story of ‘what goes on’
I did not see it panning out, in reality, as described in their materials.

Maybe there’s something that would prohibit such a documentary
I don’t know…
Then again – it’s also possible that such data would make no difference…

What do you think?

Thanks for reading.

edit on 7/11/2014 by WanDash because: misspelled

edit on 7/11/2014 by WanDash because: spaces - the final frontier

posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 01:54 AM
I don't know what to think but find the premise fascinating as I've had similar thoughts. Thanks for sharing too... Your story resonates with me on many levels.

posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 02:21 AM
a reply to: igloo
Thanks, igloo
Maybe someone will come along and point me/us to some 'study' that's been performed by a bunch of honest people, that will aid in the quest for answers.
Otherwise...I'm wondering if that point in the life/death struggle...will have the courage, fortitude &/or ability to contribute to this dilemma.

edit on 7/11/2014 by WanDash because: too many do's

posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 02:22 AM
a reply to: WanDash

What do you think?

We all have burdens we bear.

You did well.

posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 02:32 AM
a reply to: Snarl
Always appreciate the opportunity to consider your perspective/s, Snarl!
You have been a genuine starburst in my time on this site.
Be Well!

posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 06:40 AM
a reply to: WanDash

I really appreciated your story. Thanks for sharing.

Sorry to be a little dense, but are the questions you have regarding an afterlife?

I'm glad you cried. You could have not with your back story and that would have been sad indeed.

posted on Jul, 11 2014 @ 11:39 AM
a reply to: zardust
Thank you, zardust
I know that the question is odd...
When "hospice" came into the equation, we were given "reading materials" that are meant to prepare family for the 'process'. On account of these 'materials', I expected that there would be 'an awake' state that followed the 'coma-like' state...where we would/might get to interact one more time. There, though, was not, in his instance.
So - of course, since that part didn't match the 'hospice story', I'm wondering if any of the rest that was going on 'behind the scenes' matched the 'story' as well.
And thus - are there any first-hand records of people going through this process...where they were able to dictate or tell others, "For the Record", what happened.

It may be an impossible expectation. I don't know... Just wondering.

posted on Jul, 12 2014 @ 12:02 AM
I, of course, have wondered if I might be willing/able to participate in such an effort, when my time comes...
I know - there's no way of knowing, this side of the 'event'...but...

What do you think?

Do you think that the experience is/will-be too intense to plan...for...?

It is probably the most REAL...RAW...UNADULTERATED Life...

Probably, not something one will want (or, be able) to be distracted from...

Sorry if this is too...intimate...

posted on Sep, 16 2014 @ 11:29 AM
a reply to: WanDash

For your consideration:

The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot

Quantum Physics, Near Death Experiences, Eternal Consciousness, Religion, and the Human Soul by William Joseph Bray

Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander M.D.

I think you'll find a lot of the answers you're seeking in the above.

Brightest Blessings,

posted on Sep, 19 2014 @ 12:40 AM
a reply to: starsyren
Thank you, starsyren, for caring enough to offer insights!
I have read The Holographic Universe... It was enlightening, to say the least (about it).
Have not read the others...but will certainly look into them, on your recommendation.

I don't know... Death seems to be such an absolute...with no sure answers and lots of debate on all sides of it, and - having faced both the reality (apparent) and threat in recent is ever on my mind.
Watching it so utterly profound that its many facets and implications continue to reveal themselves Time passes, and one draws nearer their own... ... ...
I remember, from my years of Christian Biblical schooling, that it was said that Jesus came to free us from the fear of death...
Wouldn't that be great...if true?
No fear of death...?
I don't know, so much, that I FEAR death...
I am resolved to accept whatever it brings...
What can one do, otherwise?
If... Nothingness ...I will not regret
If... Hell ...What more could I do?
If...What Dreams May Come...or...another life/ be it!
But - for those, whose lives were/are entirely wrapped in a belief one way or another...if the truth is not what they have believed for... ... ...
I don't know.
My Dad believed something specific...which I, personally, don't believe is found past the curtain.
But... again ...I...don't know.

So - thanks again...and - will look into your suggestions.

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