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Wife Logic: Not woman bashing

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posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:17 AM
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Before I start, I know some of you ladies are as sane as a person can be.

I don't know if it's years of school kid style arguments or if it's encoded in a woman's DNA but, the attempts to switch the argument to a completely different argument is just annoying. As an example here is an actual argument from my life.

Me: Honey, this is the fourth day in a row you have let the dog slip out of the door and it's going to take me all day to catch him. Why can't you pay attention to whats going on around you?

Wife: Why can't you take the trash out when it's full?!

Me:

I told you this before, it's a small trash can and i would rather smash it down a few times than take out a bag thats half full.
Now, why are you letting this dog outsmart you?

Wife: I shouldn't have to look to see if he's behind me.

Me:





posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:24 AM
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To be honest, i experience this with both sexes... That said, i believe your rant is a valid one in terms of the actual discourse though...it gets on my nerves sometimes, too...
edit on 10-7-2014 by daaskapital because: spelling -.-



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:24 AM
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The one I absolutely hate the most...absolutely is when a gf or my ex wife or whatever I have had in my life...asks if I want to go with her somewhere...maybe to eat or something and I say sure...well then it turns into we run 30 errands for her and she just didn't want to be alone while doing them.

I wouldn't mind going with her but this can be a 4 hour event...I could at least bring a book or something if I was warned.



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:30 AM
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a reply to: rockpaperhammock
My wife does that. She tricks me by saying we're going to get food then 5 stops, 3 hours and 1 disgruntled man later she wants me to pick where to eat only to say she doesnt want that.



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:36 AM
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Why don't you train the dog?

Cause, you ain't going train your wife...



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:38 AM
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Hello EOMS,

What I'm getting from that is your wife is feeling very defensive and attacked and so she is attacking you back as a means of self-protection.

I can see how she would feel "picked on" by the WAY you said what you said. You are upset, I understand, that you have to spend hours hunting down an escaped dog - I totally get that. I'm guessing she 1) feels bad about it, 2) is angry you are calling her incompetent and, 3) angry about the dog situation in general.

First, if this is a repeated thing, then I would say look to a solution other than expecting your wife to deal with it the way it is, followed by berating her for not doing it the way you want, calling her stupid (yes, you did that) for letting the dog "outsmart her" and then both of you end up angry.

Use "I" statements (not accusations and blame - that will get you the iron curtain and for good reason) and offer to help her figure out how to solve the problem of the dog escaping by looking at it from a "systems" perspective, not a blame perspective. So, here is an example:

"Honey, I get so frustrated when the dog escapes because I have to go look for him and chase him down. Can you help me figure out a way that he's easier to handle for you? What can we do to solve this? How can we work this out so he's less hassle for you and I don't have to go and chase him... (a win-win!!)

Then enlist her and yourself in a brainstorming session, to identify if there is a possible solution. Does the dog know how to open your door (some dogs do!) and if so change the handle type so that he can't. Do you have the $$ to invest in an electric fence to keep him from running off once he's out of the house? Or a regular fence? Is there a better way to contain the dog than just the door? A kid-fence? I obviously have no idea, because I don't know you, your house, or your dog, BUT you get the idea. The conversation has shifted from "oh yeah, well you mess up too you know!!!" to "how can we make this work for BOTH of us?"

It sounds like you could help her feel taken care of, and take care of a problem for yourself in one effort... Could be VERY worth it!



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:43 AM
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My wife always complains that I don't stack the tupperware the right way. Funny how she overlooks that I did the dishes when none of her friends husband's do anything around the house. Sometimes you just got to choose your battles.



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:44 AM
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a reply to: EyesOpenMouthShut


I think your wife has a promising career in politics.



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:47 AM
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a reply to: whyamIhere

He was a new adoption at the time but i have him trained. That was just an example, lord knows wives are untrainable



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 11:52 AM
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a reply to: AboveBoard
I understand what you mean and i do tend to be blunt about things. I guess its too much to ask for an unemotional response but such is life. In her defense, this dog is extremely intelligent



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 12:28 PM
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Hee Hee Hee.

Sorry, but as a wife, and much to the chagrin of most of the ladies here, yes, yes we do.

To be honest, maybe in my case, it's because I don't nit pick and complain about the little stuff at the time. But if your going to open it, I'll bring stuff up too.

Even in my own dang head, I know it's not fair. Sometimes I just can't stop myself.
It sure doesn't help that we are wired completely different.

But you guys wouldn't love us if we were the same.


In my defense, of the dog getting out, ours is an 80 lb. Bulldog, that will knock me on my butt to get out the door, if we have company. Tackling him does me no good.
edit on 10-7-2014 by chiefsmom because: addition



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 12:45 PM
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Wait! Is the dog getting out while your wife takes the trash out, after you smashed it down for her?



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 12:48 PM
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Thats why strong alcoholic beverages were invented ... to give men a way to cope without resorting to homicide .. followed shortly after by the invention of divorce lawyers ...



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 12:50 PM
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a reply to: EyesOpenMouthShut

Oh man, I get caught in that trap as well. Heaven forbid if you pass on the offer, particularly if you explain why you are going to pass. The only upswing on that is you get several hours of home alone on your own accord. Downside (or is it) she usually follows this up by several hours of strained silence after she comes back home.



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 12:56 PM
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a reply to: windword
no, the dog got out when she opened the door. No trash involved



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 12:59 PM
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a reply to: QuietSpeech

A wise man once said: "A woman will attempt to punish you by not speaking to you. When this happens, pretend to be sad but enjoy the silence."



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 01:47 PM
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You wife's statements make perfect sense. Take out the trash yourself, train the dog or don't make insulting accusations aka


Why can't you pay attention to whats going on around you?


If this has happened four days in a row, at least one of the times involved her trying to hold the dog back while trying to get out the door with the trash, I can almost guarantee it. Just because it didn't happen on that day, doesn't mean it isn't still fresh in her memory.
Does the dog listen to her, or take advantage of the fact that she has her hands full when going out the door? Train the dog so it doesn't go out and she doesn't have to worry about it, for goodness sakes.


I just read your thread to my hubby. I have such a good man. He got it. He said, "He needs to be proactive not reactive. He should have said, "what can I do to help stop the dog getting out when you open the door?"



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 01:48 PM
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a reply to: EyesOpenMouthShut




Me: Honey, this is the fourth day in a row you have let the dog slip out of the door and it's going to take me all day to catch him. Why can't you pay attention to whats going on around you?


You would save a lot of time if you put up a fence



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 01:50 PM
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a reply to: EyesOpenMouthShut

I feel your pain brother but just remember "happy wife is a happy life"

Stay strong.



posted on Jul, 10 2014 @ 02:09 PM
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a reply to: calstorm

I should have clarified in the opener. There was no trash involved other than her gripe. she doesn't take the trash out, never has.

The dog knew she didn't pay attention, she still doesn't but he is trained enough to now know not to leave the house without permission
edit on 7/10/2014 by EyesOpenMouthShut because: (no reason given)



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