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posted on Jul, 5 2014 @ 09:10 AM
What do you call a penitentiary inmate with a know-it-all, surly attitude when he's walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.

What's the difference between a dirty, unkempt Greyhound depot and a lobster with big boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A cant opener

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.

Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
Because he was just too far out, man!

posted on Jul, 5 2014 @ 09:12 AM
Apologies for the double thread.
Stupid laptop with its crappy mousepad!

posted on Jul, 5 2014 @ 09:55 AM
a reply to: ColeYounger

Those are good ones

posted on Jul, 5 2014 @ 10:02 AM
a reply to: ColeYounger

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? Because he felt his presents.

What did the Balloon say to the safety pin? "You've let me down for the last time."

Why don't blind people skydive? because it scares the hell out of the dog.

Want to know how to procrastinate? I'll tell you later.

Why don't bananas go to war? because they're yellow.

How many times does it take Yoda lightbulb to screw in a?

Dad jokes. Gotta love 'em.

edit on 5-7-2014 by Thecakeisalie because: (no reason given)

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