a reply to: 8fl0z
OMGosh! Where to start???
As one of the older broads on ATS, & having a female point of view,
I guess I have lived long enough to offer some advice!
And maybe even sound like I'm lecturing a bit!
All you have to do is read back over your own post!
"i met the most beautiful girl ive ever laid my eyes on.
her and i were two peas in a pod.
We only dated 8 months, it was a very rocky relationship.
we barely got to spend time with one another
without having to include a bunch of friends
so her mom would trust us, her dad was also very controlling"
***She was the best thing that ever happened to you,
you were so much alike, but you weren't satisfied with the amount of time
that you got to spend together, either with other people or alone!
Her parents were just looking out for their baby & it sounds like with good reason!
You're young yet, someday you will realize...any time together is better than no time!
"most of our relationship was over-the-phone, texting, and inboxing on facebook.
this can lead to major frustrations, especially when youre a young buck.
im going to be completely honest and admit that i did try cheating on her,
i didnt actually do it,
but i attempted to get with another girl while under the influence at a party"
***It sounds like you are still very immature & even though you claim she meant so much to you,
you let your 'mini me' lead you to betray her in the worst way possible!!!
It doesn't matter that nothing happened, the intent was there!!!
Nobody who loves & respects the most important person in their life,
would even think of going astray in hard times, much less as easily as you did!
Life can be very hard, what happens then?
Will you take a detour every time the road gets bumpy???
"trying to save my pride, i found some weak reason to break it off with her
before she could break it off with me...not only did i try cheating on her,
but i also dumped her. she was destroyed to say the least."
***Here again, if you love someone, you don't throw them under a bus to save your own ego!
You didn't even man up??? Didn't apologize???
Are you going to use alcohol for an excuse for everything you do wrong in your life???
You should be willing to do anything for the love of your life,
no matter what it costs you!
"we started talking again, we agreed to try to work on,
and repair our relationship to its former glory,
but we werent actually together,
so both of us were talking to other people at the time,
while keeping it secret from one another"
***Yeah, still didn't learn from your last mistake! Sure you weren't actually together,
but you weren't willing to do anything to get her back & gain her trust.
And she for sure rightly didn't trust you enough to break off contact with other people either!
Oh, what a tangled web we weave...
My Uncle used to say, that everyone says relationships should be 50-50.
But he said, NO, both people have to give 100%!
Because if you aren't willing to give your best to someone,
then there is no point in being in a relationship!
Everyone deserves someone who treasures them!!!
Otherwise what is the point of being in a relationship?
Someone can be happy all by themselves.
They don't need another person making them miserable!
In my day...YEAH, there I said it!!!
We respected each other & weren't happy if our partner wasn't happy.
Sex was frowned on before marriage...
now people can't even stop cheating when they are just dating!!!???
How will they ever be able to be monogamous forever in a marriage???
Where is a person's strength of character anymore???
You have your whole life ahead of you yet.
The best thing to do is learn from your mistake, find out who you are,
be the kind of person a girl would even want to be with!
You'll never forget...but perhaps the memory of what you are feeling right now,
will be enough to keep you from making the same mistake again?!
What's that saying? Oh, yeah! Live & learn!!!
edit on 5-7-2014 by wasobservingquietly because: Clarity!