posted on Jun, 29 2014 @ 11:46 PM
I wrote these two years ago. I was fixing some code in my blog while I was looking for something else and saw this , I thought it could give some a
chuckle. Seems to fit even today. I love these kinds of things I want to hear everybody else's.
1. trans·par·en·cy [trans-pair-can't-see]
A political concept expounded by heads of state seen only by a special pair of glasses sold in the back of comic books known as x-ray glasses. These
allow you to see through thick wood doors and walls found in government buildings, and the optional Bill Clinton model seeing through clothing. The
same view seen from space with the naked eye. Sound not included.
2. Cli-mate Change [Klimat-dimes & nickles]
The result of voting for someone you thought was a different kind person. There is no scientific proof that this person was different, other than what
the main stream media claimed to be accurate. Finding out they are different after the vote, you go from cool to hot causing you to fume and pollute
the atmosphere from your ozone hole with methane gas.
3. Fis-cal Cliff [Fly-ing With-out Cash]
A 16 trillion dollar pile of dirt you have driven off of while screaming all the way down “we need to borrow more money“, and just before impact
you realize you were “leading from behind”, attempting to “increase revenues”.
4. Debt Ceiling [Head-Bang-er]
Where every President hits his head in the Oval Office while congressman work feverishly to lower the floor, and the main stream media claims they are
not working fast enough.
5. Going Forward [With-out Di-rec-tion]
A phrase given during policy direction when no direction is known by any party, basically said as a fill in during interviews with the media.
6. Increased Revenues [Pock-et Reach-ing]
In a dream you see someone reaching into your pocket stealing your money and remember seeing a tattoo of a elephant or donkey on their forearm, then
waking up to find out it is real. The most heinous of political phrases affecting everyone while politicians are “leading from behind”.
7. Leading From Behind [Re-fus-ing Re-spons-ibil-ity]
A political oxymoron designed to confuse people that understand the English language. It is impossible to lead from behind so this shields you from
any responsibility for your actions. An example would be Susan Rice expounding a lie, the president calling out those that would question it, while
blaming someone else.
8. Quantitative Easing [Com-puter-ized Cash]
An alternate reality where printing money is good for your country while thinking the only remedy is “Increased Revenues”. Control for the
alternate reality is assigned to a single person appointed by a president “leading from behind”, promising to “increase revenues”, thus
avoiding a “fiscal cliff”, while “going forward” after raising the “debt ceiling”.
9. Main Stream Media [Bob-ble Head]
Bobble head dolls of all shapes, sizes, sexes, races, sexual orientations, and attractiveness missing a right leg, and they won’t fit in the back
window of your family car. Their heads go up and down repeating the same words, phrases, and thought patterns of all the other bobble heads
10. Single Payer Health Care [Ob-ama Care]
The last person with any money left after “increased revenues” to pay for a nations health care system.
11. Bailout [Wast-ing Mon-ey]
Throwing money out the window of an low flying government airplane without a parachute onto the roofs for major corporations and banks because of bad
money management and grandiose schemes of banks and corporations. For the good of the people. I feel better already.
12. Shovel Ready [Shov-it Al-ready]
A back breaking event with no real results after spending billions of dollars that couldn’t get through government red tape. Destined to be repeated
over and over and called by its other name “job programs”.
13. Undocumented Worker [Ille-gal Ali-en]
What happens when 10 Hispanic workers in a Toyota drive fast enough with the windows down and all of his or her paperwork flies out the window, while
retaining the EBT card and their WIC identification. Pulled over for littering they often scatter leaving behind delicious meals in plastic
containers with various meats and tortillas.
14. Paying Your Fair Share [Ripp-ing Off The Rich]
A share being determined by those seeking voting favor for those without any shares. The paying part is for the rest of us.
15. Founding Fathers [Highest Of In-tel-lect-uals ]
The ones spinning in their graves so fast you can feel the breeze from coast to coast. Liberal kryptonite, incapacitators of progressiveness,
truthsayers of those that hide under the cloak of attorneys, keepers and creators of the republic, the grandest of gentleman.