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This Is What Bullying An Adult For Being Gay Sounds Like. You May Not Even Realize You've Done It

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posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 09:28 PM
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I'm sharing with ATS a short video that George Takei shared. I adore Uncle George and all he does for LGBT awareness & trying to help spread toleration.

This Is What Bullying An Adult For Being Gay Sounds Like. You May Not Even Realize You've Done It




Those of us in America often forget that the struggle for LGBT equality is worldwide. This powerful video, where people are symbolically unseen, was produced in Ireland, but the pain of the narrators is universal. I myself lived in silent fear for six decades of my life.

It is our straight friends and allies who make the true difference in the lives of those who feel silenced or, as here, invisible. See us for who we are, and help all people emerge from the shadows.


The only negative experience I had after telling people I was bi sexual involved a girl I had gone to high school with.
I was in Superstore (the place where she worked) with my older sister & Nikki (not her real name) spotted me and called me over. I hadn't seen Nikki since we graduated a couple months back & I didn't really like her but I thought I'd go see what she wanted.

She asked me if it was true that I was bi sexual and I told her it was. She then hid her body behind a clothing wrack as she continued to ask me questions: "Why would you chose to be bisexual" and I responded "It is not a choice, I was born this way" At this point I was really irritated & already felt like knocking her out. She asked me another stupid question, "Were you bi sexual when we went on that trip to Vancouver" & I told her I was and had been since I was born. She was bothered by this because 5 other girls, herself included & I went on a culinary trip to Vancouver to take part in S.W.E.A.T and we stayed in a hostile. I shared a room with one other girl, not even the one that was now bothered at the news that I was bi sexual. Now I was very mad & I knew if I didn't walk away, I was going to kick her prissy butt. I told her I had to go & she said goodbye. A couple weeks later I bumped into one of the other girls from the trip, one who was friends with Nikki & told her how mad I was about the whole experience. The girl then informed me how stupid it was of Nikki to react like that because Nikki had fooled around with girls before. I was extremely pissed off about the whole experience after I found that out and told myself that I was going to tear Nikki a new one if I ever saw her again.

I had wanted to tell Nikki that day in the store that just because I liked girls didn't mean I liked Nikki, I didn't find her the slightest bit attractive, had a terrible personality and a super annoying voice. I hate it when people assume that because you like the same sex that it means you want to be with all of them. No, we have standards to, thanks.

Anyways, I hope one day that we can treat LGBT as the people they are & not as inhumane things.




posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 09:52 PM
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Never had a problem with gays, lesbians, bi, trans w/e. People who hate and avoid them are really truly missing out.



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 09:54 PM
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My perspective on it is this: it can be a little uncomfortable to discover that someone you thought you knew may have been viewing you as a potential sexual partner all along without your knowledge.

I had a friend who pulled this on me in high school and then proceeded to hit on me a couple of times. Things were never quite the same between us after that. I could never view her quite the same way or be quite as comfortable in her company. It was like being with a guy only not because there wasn't any way I could ever be interested in her the way she wanted me to be. It's awkward.

It's a little different to go into a friendship from the outset knowing exactly who and what a person is.
edit on 26-6-2014 by ketsuko because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 09:59 PM
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It will be centuries yet till humans reach the point of accepting people as they are without judging / condemning them... the way worlds going humanity will wipe itself out due to its idiocy long before that happens..
these days only time everyones equal is once theyre in the grave ..



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 10:00 PM
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a reply to: ketsuko

You mean just like straight people do. Nearly every girl I'm friends with is because I am attracted to them.



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 10:04 PM
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a reply to: Fargoth

But if you are a guy, then they know you could be looking at them as a potential sex partner just because you are a guy and they are a girl.

If I go into a friendship with someone in my office who is gay or bi, then I know where I may stand with them. Same thing.

It's when you suddenly find out that the territory you thought you knew isn't ... that things get weird. You may think you know someone, and then something that deep changes. It's disconcerting and takes time to adjust to.



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 10:07 PM
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I relate to all these people.

What I did though, is anytime the hens started clucking at various jobs about their drama, I'd cluck back.

I'd talk about me and my various girlfriends anytime they'd cluck about their drama and boyfriends. If I noticed they weren't talking to me, I'd tell them how my weekend went...with all the boring girlfriendly details.

I have also gone through a lot of pain and have a very different life experience than these people. I found that there were people at work that were scared to talk in general. Bullies don't just bully us gays and lesbians, they bully every weak person they meet.

I was an asshole and wound up making friends across the board. They then asked how my day went and how my girlfriend was. They also remembered my anniversary with her when it came up.

They might have talked about me behind my back, but I don't really give two #s. My purpose for talking about myself was so I didn't feel uncomfortable WORKING.

You have to speak up and you have to be annoying. Joke about it if you must, but if you don't...gays will be hated forever.

If you hear stupid comments...come out. The end.

Don't wait, don't feel uncomfortable, don't be scared. Just be as abrasive and annoying as all the hens you work with.



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 10:15 PM
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originally posted by: ketsuko
My perspective on it is this: it can be a little uncomfortable to discover that someone you thought you knew may have been viewing you as a potential sexual partner all along without your knowledge.

I had a friend who pulled this on me in high school and then proceeded to hit on me a couple of times. Things were never quite the same between us after that. I could never view her quite the same way or be quite as comfortable in her company. It was like being with a guy only not because there wasn't any way I could ever be interested in her the way she wanted me to be. It's awkward.

It's a little different to go into a friendship from the outset knowing exactly who and what a person is.


Again, you are assuming that they are viewing you as a potential sex partner just because they are of the same gender as you. Sure you had one bad experience like that but guess what, I've had that same experience with guys where I didn't feel the same way about them. Sometimes I felt awkward afterwards but most of the time we could resume our friendship because they would develop feelings for someone else.

I think it's stupid when people think that a friend has suddenly changed just because they came out about their sexual preference. Nothing has changed about the person who admitted their sexual preference, the other person who thinks of them less is the one who changed.

Do you go into every friendship laying everything on the table or do you hold some stuff back while you wait to see if the friendship will continue & if they can be trusted with some information?

At time of the incident that I shared, I was neither friends with Nikki nor wanted to be friends with her. We were in the same class together and had to go on the same class trip because we both got accepted into the program. I never came out in high school because I was already bullied for other things, I didn't want to chance being bullied for something else. There were only a couple people who had come out of the closet at my high school & that wasn't until I was in grade 12. Before that, no one admitted they were LGBT because they would have been bullied by pretty much the whole school.



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 10:17 PM
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a reply to: ketsuko

Everyone is bi until proven innocent.

Watch out with the whiskey, everyone gets friskey.

If I had a quarter for every time my "friends" hit on me I'd be a rich woman indeed.



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 11:00 PM
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You can't expect everyone else to change for you to be comfortable. You need to be happy with who you are and not worry about what other people say and do.

I am not PC and I don't give a flip. Deal with it or not.



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 11:02 PM
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a reply to: ketsuko

My very good friend came out to me before anyone else, I was like cool bro wanna get wasted? Once in awhile he'll say I'm sexy, or I look good with a cowboy etc or his gay friends will say something to that extent. Doesn't bother me I find it kind of flattering in a way because gay guys are usually pretty picky. If both my pretty ladies and my gay boys find me attractive then I'm definitely doing something right. But I understand not everyone shares this outlook. No I'm not gay and the thought of having sex with a man doesn't turn me on, I'm just comfortable with it. But like I said everyone's different, I understand and respect where your coming from.
edit on 26-6-2014 by Fargoth because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 26 2014 @ 11:36 PM
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I'm only expressing my reaction to the video and OrphanApology's comment.

Anyone picking on anyone else on the job is creating a disruptive situation. Any professional would see that that costs the company in efficiency and turnover. I would assume that the first goal would be to resolve that situation, whether it's sexual or not.

As an outsider, the video was disappointing. I was told that --(Gays, Lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered . . .) heck, that's getting too awkward, I'll just lump them under the term "Queer." It's been used before as in "We're queer, we're here, get over it." -- That queers were afraid of what might happen to them in the workplace. In the situations shown, however, each was supported by management.

It seemed to go "I'm not going to tell anybody, so I can't speak of certain things. That isolates me and I'm afraid. Someone might not like my sexual preference and get mean to me, or abusive." An experience which also happens to various religious groups (Muslim, Catholic, Jewish), political groups (Tea Party), or even wearing the wrong jersey at a football game in LA, which can get you mugged. (Let's not mention what happens to someone who announces "I work for the IRS."

What are the other workers supposed to do? Ignore it until the queer wants to expose himself? Ask questions until they find out what the preference is? And once they know, then what? Certainly it makes little sense to take special care of them, or go out of the way to make people accepted for their choices. I don't think queers want to be treated differently than anybody else.

As OrphanApology explained (and I'm wretchedly paraphrasing), Hey, just stand up for yourself, let the small things roll off (everybody deals with that), and just be yourself. Gay pride, remember? Just don't be in your co-workers face about it, and don't hang back like a wilted flower, then people will be sure there is something wrong internally.

Nobody tells their life secrets on the first day on the job, although it looks like it because everyone else has been there a while and already know each other.

I suppose I will comment on knowledgeispower's OP. Someone gave a co-worker a bit of information referring to knowledgeispower's sexual preferences. She asked if it was true and, upon being told that it was, Nikki went all blonde, giggling and asking questions. Maybe out of ignorance, or fear or whatever. A great time to set someone straight on the facts, i would think.

Knowledgeispower's reaction is interesting.

At this point I was really irritated & already felt like knocking her out. She asked me another stupid question, "Were you bi sexual when we went on that trip to Vancouver" & I told her I was and had been since I was born. Now I was very mad & I knew if I didn't walk away, I was going to kick her prissy butt.


It may very well be that knowledgeispower's nerves have worn thin due to years of abuse, I don't know, but that seems like a pretty harsh reaction.

By the way, if some does something not knowing it is bullying, and not intending to be bullying, then they're not bullys. Insensitive, perhaps. Thoughtless, OK. Unsophisticated, sure. But they are not bullys and I'd hate to see that become the new "label" word for someone who doesn't support queers.

Oh, another thing. Is the word "queer" as I've used it terribly offensive? I honestly didn't think so, but if I'm wrong please let me know. After all, I've pointed out that "bullying" is the wrong word to use.



posted on Jun, 27 2014 @ 12:39 AM
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Depending on what city or state you live in, things can be quite different. Here on the west coast, especially as of late, I've been seeing more and more of what I'd describe as "reverse discrimination". The more that gays take up positions of authority and power, the more they exercise this to the benefit of gays or lesbians, exclusively. That means as a straight person say, applying for a job or a promotion, with the same qualifications as a gay or lesbian, if the offerer of the job is gay or lesbian, guess who gets the job? Guess who gets the promotion?



posted on Jun, 27 2014 @ 01:19 AM
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originally posted by: Metallicus
You can't expect everyone else to change for you to be comfortable. You need to be happy with who you are and not worry about what other people say and do.

I am not PC and I don't give a flip. Deal with it or not.


That is true... on the other hand I've changed a bit on my opinion. I dont care anymore. And what I mean about "I dont care" is... people shouldnt really hold you back or discriminate just because you're gay. I Think I just moved beyond that and if I can do it, everyone can... just let everyone love whoever they want to. Its their business.

Its not "expect to everyone else to change" its just... like being introduced to something in nature that always been there - you dont have to change - you just have to accept it as it is, no one is forcing you to change anything about yourself really.

I certainly didnt change anything about myself what changed was my opinion because my opinion was wrong... but me?

And if you dont evolve as a person as years go by, then it means you dont learn anything... life, as a journey, has a beginning and an end and its not supposed for you to end that journey knowing the same, believing the same and being the same person as you were when you began that journey - its an evolutionary process.

So some may say "whats next - people will marry their pets?" Well thats already possible so... why cant any human be happy along side any other human? People often say crap about computer games but I think when this subject comes up, at least the young ones, should learn a bit from Mass Effect.

Happiness is priceless... thats what I've learned.



posted on Jun, 27 2014 @ 02:11 AM
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originally posted by: charles1952

I suppose I will comment on knowledgeispower's OP. Someone gave a co-worker a bit of information referring to knowledgeispower's sexual preferences. She asked if it was true and, upon being told that it was, Nikki went all blonde, giggling and asking questions. Maybe out of ignorance, or fear or whatever. A great time to set someone straight on the facts, i would think.

Knowledgeispower's reaction is interesting.

At this point I was really irritated & already felt like knocking her out. She asked me another stupid question, "Were you bi sexual when we went on that trip to Vancouver" & I told her I was and had been since I was born. Now I was very mad & I knew if I didn't walk away, I was going to kick her prissy butt.


It may very well be that knowledgeispower's nerves have worn thin due to years of abuse, I don't know, but that seems like a pretty harsh reaction.

By the way, if some does something not knowing it is bullying, and not intending to be bullying, then they're not bullys. Insensitive, perhaps. Thoughtless, OK. Unsophisticated, sure. But they are not bullys and I'd hate to see that become the new "label" word for someone who doesn't support queers.

Oh, another thing. Is the word "queer" as I've used it terribly offensive? I honestly didn't think so, but if I'm wrong please let me know. After all, I've pointed out that "bullying" is the wrong word to use.

((had to cut out some of your response so I had enough room to respond back)))

Some people will find queer offensive, that's why I stick to LGBT. I don't find it offensive but that's because I try not let words like that offend me. If someone was using it in a derogatory way, I probably would be offended. You weren't using it that way so it doesn't bother me.

In the case of me vs that Nikki chick, back then I was an all anger consuming person from years and years of being bullied as well as some issues going on at home. I never showed her that I was pissed off but the tone she was using & the way she was hiding her body had me get mad. I also dislike it when people say/think that it is a choice to be LGBT, who the heck wants to be beat up, disowned by family, raped & even murdered for being a non heterosexual. Hearing what is done to people in other countries, I am blessed that I was born in Canada. I knew that if I tried to have a civilized educated discussion with her, I would have flown off the deep end & even back then I tried to limit how often I did that.

As for the video, the very first person who is working in a religious hospital has to hide who she is. She can't tell people because most Nuns do not approve of LGBT. As for the other people, yes some people give them support & other people didn't. That's how it is in life, some will approve & others will not. You never know how management will react & if you will be fired. Sure you can fight it if you are fired but that's a long, stressful & sometimes expensive process. Not everyone is ready to face the music.

I know that even within the LGBT community there is hate, ignorance & intolerance for other LGBT members. Bi sexuals are a perfect example. Lesbians & Gays think that we're sitting on the fence or just trying to be trendy, because of this they can hate on bi seuxals & say nasty things to them. When I found this out I was shocked, I would have thought that a bi sexual could count on a Lesbian or Gay supporting them for not being heterosexual but that's not always the case. Same goes for cross-dressers vs drag queens vs transgendered. There is hate, ignorance & intolerance amongst the different groups.


Anyone picking on anyone else on the job is creating a disruptive situation. Any professional would see that that costs the company in efficiency and turnover. I would assume that the first goal would be to resolve that situation, whether it's sexual or not.
This may be true but I've been bullied (and not because of my sexual preference) at 3 different jobs & I had to quit because management refused to do anything in all 3 cases. It was always my word against the bullies.

My first job it was an assistant manager & he started to bully me when my Mom didn't want to date him. I went to the owner & he more a less said "Who do you think is harder to find, a new employee or a new assistant manager". I ended up getting fired because of lies the assistant manager said about me.

The second job I was being bullied by 1 manager and 4 employees. At first it was just one employee bullying me so I went to a manager (not the one bullying me) about it & when that manager talked the other person, he name dropped & I gained 3 more bullies. I tried talking to a different manager about being bullied by a manager & 4 employees and nothing was ever done so I had to quit.

The last job, I was being bullied by a 50+ old woman & who ended up replacing me as Supervisor when I went on medical leave for gall bladder removal. I repeatedly went to the manager because I was not the only one being bullied by this woman, she would scream and yell at employees across the store & would be extremely rude to customers. All the other employees, except for one, were young high school kids & they were too afraid to go to management about being bullied. The one who was the exception, often went to the manager about it & eventually refused to work with the bully. She ended up working 1 day a week. Eventually the stress became too much for me & I had to quit. The manager apologized saying his hands were tied & he hated to see me go because I was his best employee & customers always raved about me.

My boyfriend just recently had to quit his job because he was being bullied by a 66yr old female & the owners didn't care. He tried to have a talk with one of the owners & the bully in the owners office but the bully would just shout him down & make nasty remarks. The owner just sat there listening & eventually my boyfriend said "This is what I have to deal with daily, I quit."



posted on Jun, 27 2014 @ 02:26 AM
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I may have just had a really lucky life, but i've been bisexual forever and never felt inhibited or harassed. And I guess that's the point of the video is that most people with alternative sexuality are forced to negotiate their way through the predominately straight world.

Personally, I'd suggest the bull in a china shop approach; be it, own it and never look back and that way nobody senses weakness and messes with you. My two bits.



posted on Jun, 27 2014 @ 03:53 AM
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originally posted by: igloo
I may have just had a really lucky life, but i've been bisexual forever and never felt inhibited or harassed. And I guess that's the point of the video is that most people with alternative sexuality are forced to negotiate their way through the predominately straight world.

Personally, I'd suggest the bull in a china shop approach; be it, own it and never look back and that way nobody senses weakness and messes with you. My two bits.


Now that I am older, I'm not afraid to admit my sexual preference. I talk openly about it to people and if I was able to start working again (I can't at the moment due to illnesses) I would mention it if it got brought up. I'm not in a relationship with a girl so I don't have to worry about the pressure of it being brought up like that.

I've only been out for 8yrs, I didn't come to full terms/recognize that I was bi sexual until I was in grade 12 & then I waited till I graduated before I told anyone. I had two bi sexual friends in high school but they didn't tell a whole lot of people so that they wouldn't be bullied for it. My high school was full or preps & jocks, if you weren't one of those then you got made fun of.

Side note: the video was made in Ireland so I'm not sure how it is for the LGBT community there. It might not be as accepting as Canada & the States. I know some countries, horrible things happen to you, including rape & death, if you are found out to be LGBT.
edit on 27-6-2014 by knoledgeispower because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 27 2014 @ 09:03 AM
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Arnt almost all chics bi-sexual???? I mean just about all of you claim to be. I can't believe you had one girl kinda shy away and you consider that a negative reaction....



posted on Jun, 27 2014 @ 09:54 AM
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a reply to: knoledgeispower

I was expecting something much nastier; I have seen much nastier in workplaces. But I gotta say, how the person responds has a lot to do with how they will be treated in the future. When someone makes an unintentional mistake, as can happen if they don't realize the person is gay, like asking about boyfriends, girlfriends, etc., there are constructive ways to deal with it and damaging ways to deal with it. The damaging ways usually stem from hypersensitivity.

An example I witnessed when I was working for a print shop. We had a new hire, a female, and we were all talking about weekend plans. Our pressman, a gay man who did not "look" gay and was rather good looking, said he didn't have any plans because he didn't have a date. The new hire responded, "that's too bad, you're a handsome man, you shouldn't have any trouble finding a girlfriend." I think she might have been making a mild pass at him. He didn't miss a beat: "Thank you, but I just haven't found the right girl yet. *wink*" We filled her in later, and she apologized to him in private, and everything was cool. Imagine what working conditions would have been like if he had responded aggressively or worse, with a complaint of harassment.



posted on Jun, 27 2014 @ 10:42 AM
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a reply to: knoledgeispower

Dear knowledgeispower,

Thank you for a wonderful response. I don't care what someone's viewpoint is, if we can just talk about it without anger and name calling. You did a magnificent job. You've corrected my thinking on a view things and left the door open for further conversation. I've met one other here like this (among the LGBTs). He's a drag queen (for a while I thought that was the girl waving the flag to start two cars in their race), and a nice guy. I really like him.

Unfortunately for me, I'm spending the weekend in another city for a meeting. If the hotel has Wi-fi, I'll respond to you later tonight in a manner befitting your thoughtfulness and kindness.

With respect,
Charles1952



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