Who isn't? Anyone who is a contributing member of society still longs for that dream job; complete with more money, vacation, benefits,
coworkers/bosses that aren't #-bags all while doing something that one can tolerate for multiple hours a day.
But you know what keeps us all wallowing in the muck and mire of mediocrity? #ING HUMAN RESOURCES!
Who could forget infuriating phrases like:
"We're not hiring but we are taking applications." (Why are you then wasting MY time in filling it out and YOURS to trash it?!?)
"We only hire through a 3rd party temp agency." (Then WTF do YOU do?!?)
"I see you have multiple degrees and several other certifications. I feel that you would be overqualified for this job." (No bitch, that means I'd
rock that #!)
"Were looking for someone with experience." (For entry level production? Did you even read that #ing cover letter that your 3rd party vendor claimed
"I'm sorry, the positing was filled.....6 months ago." (THEN UPDATE YOUR #ING WEBSITE!)
"You have listed experience operating heavy machinery on both a flight line loading aircraft in a warzone and at a port loading warships. Were really
looking for someone with experience with a 2k forklift and a hand truck." (Do you even know the difference between 20,000lbs and 2,000lbs? What about
load balancing so the bird doesn't fall out of the #ing sky?!!)
But so far, my favorite is their inability to even send even a #ing form letter saying, ''Thanks, but no thanks." Seriously, you contract out the
application/resume selection through a dozen different vendors (monster.com charges $299 for 30 days for 1 posting), and the majority of your job
consists of generating superfluous paperwork to justify your existence, regurgitating PC gobbledy-gook, tow the company line and ensure that the only
people entitled to get away with anything are their fellow HR #-offs, celebrating #ty/frivolous holidays/recognition/heritage months, dreaming up
asinine ways to ''improve'' a procedure that you have never done and force team building exercises that are nothing but a drain of resources in the
In essence HR are the sort of people that when considering job applicants to run post-invasion Iraq, would consider Saddam Hussien, Fidel Castro or
Robert Mugabe, as a) They all hold Doctorates. b) "Have relevant experience and contacts." c) Have done the job before.
To summarize; I love working, I want to work (at least be more gainfully employed), so for #s sake sign some #ing sheet of paper, give me a job, get
the # out of the way and watch me # rainbows.
edit on 24-6-2014 by Lipton because: (no reason given)