a reply to: jhn7537
My ex-husband did something not dissimilar to this, and was not even arrested. Hence, why he is my ex-husband.
My son, at the time, was three, almost four years old. He was sitting on the potty, and talking to himself and playing with his toes, whilst he did
his business. He was supposed to be doing his 'business', which came up during nap time. My husband, at the time, was watching the children while I
was in the office at the other end of the house, working. He had put them down for a nap, and was taking a nap, himself.
He heard my son in the bathroom, talking to himself, for what seemed like an 'inappropriate' amount of time. He became angry, enraged was more like
it. He leapt from the bed, burst into the bathroom, ripped my son from the toilet seat, pulled up his undies, and tossed him onto his bed, and slammed
Hearing the commotion, I came out of the office to see him storming back to the bedroom, ranting about my son 'wasting time' and only doing this to
get out of taking his nap. I stood there, bewildered as to what took place, trying to piece it all together. My sons' screams grabbed my attention
immediately. They were not the screams of a child who had just been reprimanded and put back to bed, but screams of pain. A mom can tell the
I went to his room and opened the door. He was sitting on the bed, in daddy's oversized t-shirt. They loved wearing his old t-shirts for nighties. He
was screaming, and looking up at me through a tear streaked face. These were not crocodile tears. I went to him, and sat on the bed. He was trembling,
holding his arms up about mid-chest. I asked what was wrong, and he pointed down. I lifted his shirt, and his little undies were blood soaked. I told
him to stand up and let mommie see, and when he did, I examined him, and his penis was degloved. The skin was barely attached, but it was ripped clean
from nearly all around the base, and folded inside out. I gasped, re-placed the skin where it belonged, and went to grab a washcloth.
On my way to the bathroom, my ex was in the hallway, and began arguing that he had been 'playing in the bathroom so he didn't have to take a nap". I
simply told him, shaking with fear and anger, "You are in a lot of trouble. You are going to jail."
I went back to my sons' room, and placed the clean folded washcloth over his wound, and told him we needed to go the the doctor to get it fixed. My
son just nodded, still weeping.
My ex then came into my sons' room, asking what was wrong, and I told him he was injured, and that he had to take me to the hospital with my son. He
refused. I could not drive a straight shift, which was all we had, so I telephoned a friend, who took us to the hospital.
At the hospital, I explained what had happened, and the police tried to arrest my friend that brought us! I said no, that's NOT my husband! He stayed
home and refused to help me!
The emergency room called in a plastic surgeon, who thankfully did a wonderful job putting everything back together. We went home later, with some
I don't know to this day what transpired between my ex and the police. However, when I got home, I gave him 14 days to get his belongings packed, and
to leave. I told him that I, as an adult, could decide what I would and would not put up with from him, but laying a hand on my children was over the
top. I chose my children, and their safety, over him.
To this day, some 26 years later, he still denies this ever happened. He lied to his family, friends, everyone he knew. To this day, I am still
married to the friend that took me and my son to the emergency room that day. He turned out to be a far better husband, friend, and father than their
own flesh and blood.
My ex disowned my son, because he wrote him a letter a few years ago, begging him to own up to what he did, and to simply apologize.
My son was always mentally injured by the actions, more deeply than the physical injury, itself. He felt, and still does, that his own father didn't
love him. He truly loves his stepdad so much, that he even talks at times, about legally changing his name. He even jokes that they look alike, and
that my current husband is secretly his real father. (This isn't even possible, though, as he is younger than me, and would have been 13 when my son
was born, but it's a private family joke. Well, not now, I guess.)
Anyway, I don't know what he said, or told the police, but he got out of any prosecution for what he did, and in the end, did a lot of emotional and
psychological damage to my son. Instead, he lives a very good life, a highly paid computer exec, making a tripple figure amount salary.
While my children were in public school, and I struggled as a single mother, my kids were on reduced fee lunches for a time. I made 800.00 a month in
support. I was running low, actually broke, one week before he was due to pay support, and asked him for 5.00, which he steadfastly refused me.
Some people belong in prison.
ETA - I forgot the part about when he asked me why he had to go to the hospital. When I explained why, he replied, "Just pour some alcohol on it and
cover it with some gauze. I yelled, "Are you f'n crazy?!" as I stormed out of the room to phone for help.
edit on 22-6-2014 by Libertygal because: (no reason given)