a reply to: Greywolf13A
Perhaps to flesh it out a bit . . .
I think the following is quite crucial:
MARRIAGE ISN’T FOR YOU ARTICLE:
The focus cannot be on ME! ME! ME! and have a successful marriage.
It also doesn't work to be a worthless feeling slavish doormat for someone else.
One needs some self respect in order for even a marriage partner to respect one.
If it takes extensive therapy to help build back some self-respect stolen during DETACHMENT--ATTACHMENT DISORDER INDUCING early childhood
parenting--then by all means get it . . . if you can't afford it, find some grandfatherly or grandmotherly older person with a big loving heart and
spend an hour or 3 with them weekly . . . even if you have to go to an old folks home to find such a person.
LOVING is doing what's best for the one loved. That takes focusing ON THEM, their feelings, their needs, their priorities etc. without squashing
one's own. When two people are healthy psychologically and emotionally, with that focus on the other--both are enhanced and the relationship is
enhanced, enriched and endures building value and quality as the years rush by.
The following can be looked up as TED talks on youtube:
HELEN FISHER (BIOLOGICAL ANTHROPOLOGIST) YOUTUBE VIDEOS:
--THE BRAIN IN LOVE
--WHY PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE
--WHY WE LOVE, WHY WE CHEAT
--4 PERSONALITY TYPES IN MEN
--DATING AND MARRIAGE TIPS
--THE POWER OF LOVE
--LUST, ROMANCE, ATTACHMENT
--"THE BRAIN IN LOVE' AT HAPPINESS & ITS CAUSES 2013
--BIG THINK INTERVIEW WITH HELEN FISHER
--DR HELEN FISHER ON THE NATURAL TALENTS OF WOMEN
--ARE YOU CHEMICALLY COMPATIBLE?
--BIOLOGY OF THE MIND
--WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE?
--THE NATURE OF LOVE
PAGE 2 OF VIDEO LISTINGS:
--YOUR PERSONALITY STYLE AT WORK
--DRUGS OR LOVE? HELEN FISHER AT WORLD FUTURE 2007
--EXPLAINS WHY CASUAL SEX DOESN'T EXIST
--LUST OR LOVE
--THE FUTURE OF LOVE AND SEX
--THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES
--WHY HIM? WHY HER? HOW TO FIND AND KEEP LASTING LOVE
--LOVE, LUST & ATTACHMENT
--SCIENCE OF LOVE
--LUST, ROMANCE & ATTRACTIOIN
--MATCH.COM PRESENTS SINGLES IN AMERICA WITH DR HELEN FISHER
--ON THE FEMALE BRAIN
PAGE 3 OF LISTINGS:
--THE SWEATY T-SHIRT EXPERIMENT
--HOW DO YOU FIND REAL LOVE?
--TRANSFORMATION OF THE UNIVERSITY CAMPUS 1950s-1960s
--THE SECRET OF MAKING MARRIAGE WORK
--THE DRIVE TO LOVE (1)
--THE DRIVE TO LOVE (2)
--KISSING'S EFFECT ON THE BRAIN
PAGE 4 OF LISTINGS:
--ENHANCING IMPACT, INSPIRING EXCELLENCE
--RESULTS OF MAJOR SURVEY BY MATCH.COM
--THE DRIVE TO LOVE (6)
--ROMANTIC LOVE IS AN ADDICTION
--THE CHEMISTRY OF LOVE (II)
--TODDLER DISCIPLINE BY HELEN FISHER
--THE DRIVE TO LOVE (3)
--THE DRIVE TO LOVE(5)
--FOX HUCKABEE HELEN FISHER INTERVIEW
--THE DRIVE TO LOVE (4)
--CAN YOU CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY?